


21 hours, 6 minutes

by Orion_The_Poet



Series: 21 hours, 6 minutes [1]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Flashbacks, Gen, Swearing, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:20:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 68,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24201952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orion_The_Poet/pseuds/Orion_The_Poet
Summary: The world is plunged into chaos after a mysterious disease sweeps over the world. With only few survivors remaining, civilization is in disarray. You follow a lone disturbed traveler, who soon finds answers to questions that have been plaguing him throughout his life.This series explores friendship, love, sacrifice, pain, human nature, morals, and much more - all of this through the eyes of DDLC's Main Character.
Series: 21 hours, 6 minutes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746766
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	1. Insertion

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks go to:  
> K.M - for giving me enough courage, strength, and motivation to release this work;  
> K.L - for reviewing the earliest drafts;  
> J-M.M - for giving me appropriate criticism on the first chapter;  
> D.L - for helping me with the name of this work;  
> S-C gang - for, hopefully, reading this piece without any prejudices;
> 
> and, of course, You - for accompanying me on this journey.

**Prologue**

_“I’m sorry, sir, who was it again?”_

_The nurse looks at me, her hands hovering over the keyboard._

_“Sayori Lydia Sasaki. She should be on this floor.”_

_The keyboard clacks in tandem with her saying the name a few times._

_“And you are…?”_

_“A friend. On behalf of her family.”_

_“I meant your name, sir.”_

_“Oh, sorry. It’s Michael Caulfield.”_

_She types it in._

_“Very well, Mr. Caulfield. The doctor is running some routine tests right now. They should be ready in five minutes.”_

_She motions towards some chairs behind me._

_“Would you be so kind and wait there?”_

_“Of course,” I say and turn away from the desk, but quickly face the nurse again. “Excuse me, could you remind me the ward number?”_

_“It’s 2-1-0-6. Just down the hall from here.”_

_“Thank you very much.”_

_My gaze glides over the empty row of chairs. Without putting much thought into it, I plop on the one in the middle. These aren’t the most comfortable pieces of furniture, but I can’t see anyone else complaining about it. As a matter of fact, the entire hallway is dreadfully empty. The only sound heard is the quiet pitter-patter of the nurse’s keyboard._

_The disturbing silence is broken when a door opens further down the hall._

_“Darling, I promise you, it’s going to be better next time,” a man’s voice is heard._

_“How would you know?”_

_A woman exits the room first, gradually pushing her wheelchair away from the doorframe._

_“I just know. Healing takes time. You mustn’t worry about it.”_

_Her husband closes the door to the doctor’s office and sends an affectionate smile to his daughter who is in the process of strangling his father._

_“Hey! Ouch! Let go of my tie, you rascal!”_

_“That’s what happens when you show her the late night shows,” the woman says with a scowl, however, her voice is incredibly soft. “All that fighting has rubbed off on her.”_

_The pink haired girl cackles and turns her attention to her mother. The former swings her fists wildly while still holding onto her father’s tie._

_“I think she wants to murder you now.”_

_“Here. Let me.”_

_The father frees his tie with moderate difficulty from the iron grip of his daughter and places her in the extended hands of his wife._

_“Papa!”_

_“Drat! She’s still on my case!” the man mumbles and hides behind his wife’s wheelchair. “Quick! Save me!”_

_Although the woman looks increasingly embarrassed, she too joins in on the laughter. This encourages the little girl even more, and she begins to climb on her mother’s lap, trying to find her dad. A few “peek-a-boos” later, the father starts to push the wheelchair towards an exit. They speed through the hallway, but stop in front of the vending machines._

_“Papa! Flock-let!”_

_The father lets out a howling laughter whilst looking at the woman._

_“What did she say?”_

_“Chocolate,” the woman giggles. “She wants chocolate, honey.”_

_“Oh, bother!” the man sighs and looks at her wife. “Can I buy her some?”_

_“Sure! Just don’t buy the one with nuts. She can’t chew those yet.”_

_“Right,” he utters and digs into his pockets. “I should have some quarters somewhe-…”_

_“Mr. Caulfield!” the nurse announces._

_I jump up as if she had just tased me; she catches me completely off-guard. This little embarrassment earns me an eye-roll coupled with an annoyed stare. I get up from my chair and nervously flatten my suit jacket._

_“Yes, ma’am?”_

_“They’re expecting you.”_

_And so begins my journey. I can’t help but notice that every other room in the hallway is empty, however, as soon as I think that, I notice a purple flicker from one of the wards. It would be exceptionally rude to peek inside, yet my curiosity gets the best of me. I send a quick look around in order to see if anyone notices my nosiness, but, luckily, the hallway is clear._

_A teenager seems to be reading a book. From the movement of her mouth, it’s safe to assume she’s reading it to someone. I shift my position to get a better look, and soon enough I see an older woman lying on a hospital bed. I make sure to walk away in the right moment, sending my gaze back towards the nurse. Luckily, she hasn’t noticed me spying on the residents, instead walking away from her table towards a neighbouring ward. I notice a white ribbon in her hair, but can’t get a closer look as she disappears shortly after._

_It doesn’t take me long to arrive in front of room 2106, yet I spend quite a few minutes preparing for what’s about to come. Before entering, I make sure to breathe in and out a couple of times in order to quench the terrifying nervousness looming over me. I’m not sure if the situation has changed since my last visit, but I decide not to take any chances. Thus, I gently open the door._

_I’m shortly blinded by the bright sunlight bouncing off the white walls of the room. As soon as I get accustomed to the lighting, I notice her sitting on a bed and staring out of a window. Suddenly, I feel the warm summer breeze glide past me, coming from the partly opened window. The breeze makes its way to Sayori, and her coral pink hair dances elegantly in reaction to it. The whole scene is so peaceful and beautiful, yet I can’t shake the suffocating feeling of horror._

_“Yo, Sayori. It’s me! Mike!”_

_I edge closer, but she doesn’t react. Not in the mood to give up, I reveal my surprise._

_“I brought some flowers for you! Your parents sent the roses,” I declare excitedly and place the bouquet inside an empty vase on her cupboard. “Can you see what colour they are?”_

_I tilt my head and try to smile, but even I can tell it’s nothing more than a grimace. I push through, despite not getting any attention from the girl._

_“They’re red, Sayori! Your favourite colour!”_

_She continues to stare out the window. I smack my lips and rub my hands together._

_“I’ll just…,” I motion at a chair near her bed, “take a seat right here, if that’s okay?”_

_I don’t even wait for an answer this time._

_“So, how you’ve been?” I ask and keep my act up. “Hospital treating you well?”_

_Silence._

_“Food’s good?”_

_Her face stays motionless. I feel my lip quiver._

_“Yeah, I bet! You’re always hungry… E-Even hospital food is-…”_

_I swallow a lump in my throat. I try my hardest to laugh, but it fades immediately._

_“Your parents couldn’t come today. They…”_

_There’s no point in carrying the conversation further. It seems like she has no idea I’m here._

_“What was it this time?” a voice echoes behind me. “Car trouble? Business meeting?”_

_I quickly turn around._

_“A week ago it was a flat tire. A week before that it was an important fundraiser. What’s it this time?”_

_“I’m sorry, who-…?”_

_The man stands up from the hospital bed._

_“I’m her doctor. We’ve met before, haven’t we?”_

_“I’m not sure.”_

_“We have, trust me.”_

_He picks up his clipboard._

_“So, her parents don’t care. What about the Literature Club?”_

_My confusion is replaced by irritation._

_“Excuse m-…!”_

_He raises his hand and drills his gaze into me._

_“They’re not coming, right?”_

_I shake my head. He chuckles and nods._

_“They don’t care.”_

_I gulp and close my eyes. He walks past me._

_“They have moved on, yet you’re still here. It’s been six months now.”_

_I shudder as he pats my shoulder and chuckles again._

_“There’s nothing left to salvage I’m afraid.”_

_He stops next to Sayori and waves his hand in front of her face. She doesn’t even blink._

_“Tell me one thing, Mikey.”_

_My heartbeat quickens. I begin to hyperventilate. The doctor laughs in acknowledgment._

_“It’s you,” I say with bewilderment. “B-But…”_

_“Who cares about the “hows” and “whys”?” he smirks and throws his clipboard at Sayori’s feet. “What’s important is that you’re finally here.”_

_I shake my head._

_“This can’t be-…”_

_“Tell me, Mikey,” he cuts me off. “Do you feel like a hero yet?”_

_“W-What?”_

_He scoffs and picks up Sayori’s pillow._

_“You barged in. You saw her hanging. You cut her down. You rescued her.”_

_With every sentence he pats the pillow until finally placing it on her lap. He then gently strokes Sayori’s chin._

_“Do you feel like a hero?” he whispers._

_“I d-don’t…”_

_“That’s what it’s all about, right? You want to prove that you’re… buckaroo enough.”_

_I stare at him as he ruffles her hair. Something protests inside of me._

_“You see, the problem with being a hero is that sometimes,” he tilts his head and smiles at the girl, “just cutting the rope isn’t enough.”_

_He turns to me and crosses his arms._

_“It’s amazing what a lack of oxygen can do to a human being.”_

_Silence befalls on the room, yet I can still hear wind howl outside._

_“She will never laugh at your jokes. She will never even talk to you. She will never hug you.”_

_“Stop it! Please…”_

_“Yeah,” he agrees with a sigh that is almost compassionate. “You’re right. We should stop.”_

_After one meaningful look at Sayori, he lowers his head._

_“Because this isn’t life, wouldn’t you agree? We’ve been talking for minutes and she hasn’t even batted an eye.”_

_Even though the doctor is clearly blocking her view to the park, she doesn’t care at all._

_“Fortunately, we can make it right.”_

_He clears his throat and grabs Sayori’s shoulders._

_“There’s no need to further drag this out, Mikey.”_

_He tenderly pushes her on her back._

_“We both know what the answer is.”_

_He takes the pillow. The sudden realization hits me._

_“I know you can’t do it.”_

_A quick glance at my direction reveals his eyes. I see a yellow glint._

_“So let me carry that burden.”_

_Without missing a beat, he places the pillow on her face. I try to scream, but no voice leaves my open mouth._

_“Remember, Mikey. You’ll never be a hero.”_

_Her whole body convulses, and the doctor’s laugh turns into a harrowing growl…._

I jolt upwards and desperately gasp for air. Flickers of my nightmare remain for only a second, soon replaced by a terrible stinging sensation coming from my elbow. The office starts to take a more detailed shape, so I feel comfortable enough to sit upwards. As I notice the aftermath of my nightmare, I let out an exasperated groan.

* * *

My canteen empties within seconds. After four hours of non-stop walking, even warm water tastes like the nectar of gods. Having quenched my thirst for now, I put the flask away and take a moment to figure out where I am. There’s not much to deduce by just looking around, as I’m surrounded by large plains and pastures which stretch for miles and miles. A quick look at my map tells me that I should be on the right dirt road, but I could have made a miscalculation, seeing as this particular trail hasn’t diverged in hours. There’s also no landmarks around, which makes it that much harder to estimate my current location.

I trace the road a couple of miles southwards where it crosses with a highway. The map tells me that there should be a forest just before the convergence of the two roads, but I can’t see anything from where I’m standing. This is when I spot a marking on the map.

_What’s this? A hill?_

I squint my eyes. About eight years of heavy gaming has surely increased my short-sightedness, which is why I’m having considerable difficulty finding any proof of the map’s claims. The blurry silhouette in the distance could be a hill, or it could be a figment of my imagination. Whatever the case may be, the fact remains that I need to keep moving forward. I’ve burnt enough daylight today, and spending the night on a field somewhere isn’t the safest solution. There’s no telling what could be lurking about.

I kick my feet into motion again, keeping a close attention on the horizon. The straps of my backpack rub painfully against my shoulders, but I try to find solace in the fact that it’s lighter than a few days ago. This part of the countryside is void of any great looting locations, so I’ve been steadily depleting my supplies throughout the week, meaning that my backpack is pretty empty by now. Although great for my shoulders, the lack of supplies is quite nerving, as it means that I’m less assured should I have some trouble finding more. My dwindling food situation is the main reason I picked this god’s forsaken trail. The latter reaches the highway the quickest, which in turn gives me access to different businesses that litter the edges of the road: gas stations, stores, motels; these are all acceptable places where supplies can be found.

It seems like the map was correct. Climbing another hill is dreadful, yet I feel relieved, because after I arrive at the top of it, I notice the wooded area in my left peripheral. Unfortunately, the dirt road cuts right through it, meaning that I would need to do a huge lap before I arrive anywhere near the highway. Fortunately, I notice that I can easily pass the valley ahead of me, although that would mean more climbing. Despite the hurt I feel in my feet, I decide to take on the challenge.

The descend to the valley as well as the subsequent ascend on top of another hill proves to be every bit as painful as I feared, however, I’m not in the business of giving up. I’ve been on the road for quite some time, having gotten used to the terrain by now. Still, even though I managed the climb without any setbacks, I feel a strong urgency to take a breather, which prompts me to locate a suitable patch of grass and sit down. I dig into my backpack and take out a small packet of chips.

As I’m enjoying the salty goodness of my favourite junk food brand, I take a gander over the narrow patch of road that’s laid out before me. Highway A-7 isn’t the most luxurious piece of infrastructure as it doesn’t lead towards any big cities, yet my hope is that this unpopularity will prove to be advantageous to me. I spot a pretty run-down building on the other side of the road, no doubt being one of the few stores that still found business before things went to shit. If my assumption is correct, there would be more things to grab inside compared to more popular and accessible places.

For a few minutes I let my mind wander. My gaze glides over the highway, nearby hills, and a few patches of forest in the distance. Suddenly, I pick up some movement from the entrance of the store, however, that proves to be nothing else but dust, being kicked around by wind. This shakes me awake, and I realize that I need to begin with my preparations.

Before looting, I need to be perfectly sure that the place I enter is as safe as it can be. After all, survival is dependent on avoiding any unnecessary surprises. This is where the hill comes into play, allowing me to survey the store and the tiny parking lot in all its glory. The latter seems to be empty of any threats – the only things there are a few pickups and a motorbike. The area around the store is clear as well, which makes infiltrating the small brick building that much easier.

I focus my eyes on the main entrance. The glass door, which seemingly opens to the outside, appears to be the only one way in and out for the regular customers. Of course, there’s always a backdoor in these kinds of stores, but it’s a fair chance that it’s locked, meaning that I shouldn’t count on it for an emergency exit. Moving away from the entrance, I spot a few windows on the sides. These are a bit high up, but I should be able to reach them with relative ease. Taking a mental note of the information gathered, I yawn and do some stretches.

For the first time today the mid-day sun hides itself behind a few lonely clouds littering the sky. I finish the remaining chips and drop the empty bag on the ground as the narrow highway before me turns a shade darker. Using this opportunity, I hastily gather my things and cross the street, stopping near the store. I smash against the red brick wall a little bit too hard, but manage to stay upright and drop my backpack without making too much noise. I look around to see if there’s any new threats around, but I don’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

I make my way to a nearby window, taking slow and steady steps whilst brandishing my hatchet. I exhale deeply and bang my hatchet three times against the window. Moments later, I hear a guttural scream coming from inside the store. I smirk and run towards the entrance.

I position myself next to the dusty glass door and hold my hatchet in the ready. Footsteps arrive shortly after, yet I don’t move a muscle. Only when I see two customers run out, I reveal my position and jump on the closest, striking her in the neck once. The female gurgles and falls on the ground, yellow liquid spurting from her open wound. The other, possibly hearing his comrade fall, turns towards me and releases a piercing scream. It takes me a moment to recover from the nausea.

Although he’s vulnerable, I hold off my attack, instead falling back a few feet. I know I must act quickly, for the scream surely alerted others that could be inside the store, but waiting for his move is a safer way to end this. We stay in this impromptu stand-off for a few seconds and my eyes meet his. I notice that they are a dark shade of yellow – possibly indicating that he turned a long time ago, yet I don’t ponder about his unfortunate destiny for long, instead shifting my gaze towards his hands. His claws haven’t grown out yet, and this fact heavily stacks the odds in my favour. I grab ahold of my hatchet with two hands now.

Finally, he kicks his feet into motion and begins his dash. His arms swing wildly in different directions, making it difficult to get a clear shot at his neck. Feeling the need to recalculate my approach, I step backwards and support my body weight on my stronger foot. He’s about ten feet away from me.

_Hold…_

About six feet.

_Hold it._

Four. I breathe in.

_NOW!_

I swing and hit him right in the jugular. Due to his large body mass I have to do a nifty side-step in order to escape his inertia. He crashes into the brick wall behind me. Although I struck him pretty well, his neck resisted the damage.

_I should have known…_

He pushes himself up and growls in anger. I spot the deep gash on his neck that is slowly turning yellow, yet it doesn’t bleed at the rate I wish it would. I rub my wrists and bite my lip, thinking that it was foolish of me to gamble on a finisher with this one. My hands feel quite numb as they took the brunt of the hit. It doesn’t matter now, though. I must keep at it.

Surely, he attacks again, but this time I’m caught off guard. I manage to evade his teeth only barely by jamming my hatchet between his jaws. His hands claw at me, but this does laughable damage. What is concerning, however, is the weight of this particular infected. Moments later, I stumble backwards and lose any footing I had.

The fall knocks me out for a split second. After regaining my bearings, I realize I lost my hatchet, which is why I desperately grab for a knife on my belt. A lowly hum coming from the thing on top of me tells me that my adversary has recovered as well. Although he manages to grab me by my collar, a stab towards his neck does its job. The man’s scream pierces the sky once again. Despite the now blurred vision and ringing in my ears, my attempt at getting him off me works. The same reddish-yellow liquid pours out of his body until his limbs stop flailing.

After examining their corpses, I come to a conclusion that it’s not worth it to loot them. Their clothes look worn, and it seems like they’ve been lying dormant in the store for a while. Instead, I turn back towards the store entrance. The glass door swings merrily in the wind, hinges barely holding it to the doorframe. I take a final look around and step inside.

The interior design is pretty regular for a rural store such as this one. The room itself is bordered by shelves, mostly holding different kinds of snack foods. The aisles in the middle should contain items with a little more sustenance, but it seems like scavengers have already taken most of the good stuff. However, I’m lucky to see a few cans of peaches and something called “Tactical bacon” on the shelves further away. This prompts me to grab a basket for all the loot.

As I’m walking through the store, grabbing everything useful from the shelves, I’m reminded of the times the world wasn’t so fucked up. People used to come through here every day. Passing truckers would buy stuff for their vehicles, kids would spend their last dollars on snacks, village drunks would burn their pensions for a few cases of the bubbly – things went like they always do. Now, though, it’s winner take all, however, there isn’t much to take anymore. Stuff starts to run out everywhere.

I’ve been keeping busy with the countryside for months now. Zig-zagging through an area 10-30 miles off the city has proved quite routine to me. I’ve done many circles around it and found most stuff one would find useful in an apocalyptic scenario like this. I’ve come into contact with many animals and even some people that haven’t yet succumbed to the disease. Those encounters haven’t been the most enjoyable though.

I take my leave from the store and pack my newfound loot inside my backpack. It takes me a while to organize everything so the weight would be balanced. After that, I begin carrying my load and set my sights on a nearby hill. Although it’s a difficult climb, the view eases my weary bones. I see my hometown.

The ground stories of high buildings are blocked by the low built houses of the suburban area which lead into the center. Civilization once thriving is now but a remnant of chaos. Its scars clearly visible from the hillside: burnt houses, streets filled with cars, overgrown yards, playgrounds. All left for the ghosts of the past.

I shudder suddenly. The spring sun has climbed as high as it will today, and although its rays scatter everywhere, warmth provided is still masked by the vicious winds of passing winter. I press on with my journey, after raising my armored collar higher towards my face in order to block the stabbing coldness of a now-forgotten mistress.

Having spotted a familiar gas station, I decide to take a breather there. Now looted empty, it can only serve one more purpose – to be shelter for travelers. I don’t ponder about the history of these walls too much, only taking 20 minutes to ingest some food before I enter the city.

Stealth is my forte. I’m not built to fight nor cover long distances quickly, but staying out of sight is easier for me than for most people. Moving from darkness to darkness is like second nature. It’s how I’ve avoided most conflicts in life. Funnily enough, I find my preferences in survival tactics to be deeply embedded in my personality – always a loner, staying out of the spotlight. One can imagine how hard high school was for a guy like me. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I even missed my middle school days when bullying that poor anorexic kid was the only entertainment kids in my class got. That made me feel oddly useful. Serving a purpose is important. I found that out later in life.

Having avoided some lone roamers and a few groups of menacing runners, I jog towards a second-hand clothing store, crouching in front of it. I take a peek towards my end goal: the hospital.

The building lays between two patches of trees surrounded by old factories. This makes it feel like it’s being choked by the cold concrete of the city, trees offering final relief before the inevitable. The last beacon of hope for the sick and tired. A temple where judgement gets a price. For a fee you may continue your adventure in this life.

Taking a deep breath, I charge towards the trees to the right of the hospital. I pick a suitable tree and hoist my backpack onto a branch. Climbing up, I take my beloved binoculars and start to scout for any activity nearby and inside the hospital. This takes me couple of hours as I move from cover to cover, completing at least 3 circles around it. After coming back towards the tree, I hoist myself up again. Only this time I take a small shoulder bag with me in order to carry some medical supplies I desperately need for the future.

I sit and wait until it’s nighttime. Going over my plan and eating my last meal of the day, I find myself feeling hopeful for the future. After about eight months of circling this city, I can finally move onwards to other places. This being my hometown and all, it’s easy to think about leaving, but managing to say goodbye to the only memory of normality, the only connection to my family, the place where I grew up, the place where I had my first kiss… It’s more difficult than one can imagine.

Finding myself patting the rectangle in my chest pocket, I take the device out. It’s a phone with a cracked screen. I’m not sure why I’ve decided to keep it with me for all this time as it’s been useless for half a year now. I turn the phone to reveal a scribble on the back of it.

The story is that my sister had stolen my pocket knife and carved “Mom” into my mother’s phone. She was livid for my mom could easily understand my sister’s handwriting, however, she received no punishment. Mom thought the action was cute. After she got a new phone, it was my turn to use it. I kept the scribble as it reminded me of my sister during the times she went to boarding school.

She had been a troublemaker all her life, and my parents thought that boarding school was the best solution. What was initially meant to be a punishment quickly turned the opposite. My sister was quite fond of the school and all her friends she made there. Every time I chatted with her she would tell me stories about their mischievous adventures, and I rarely had time to share my own. Granted, I didn’t have an active social life which was needed for such experiences, but I had some stories nonetheless. Although the boarding school worked wonders for her, our time together suffered a lot. Soon enough, she would call less and less. Soon we became estranged. And soon we would never meet again.

I clutch the phone and slide it back into my chest pocket. I haven’t heard from my parents in a long time. Month before the outbreak begun, my parents went on a rather long business trip overseas. It was supposed to be the big break for their pet grooming company they had managed for nearly seven years. I kept contact with them during my time alone, but the day shit hit the fan I couldn’t reach them no matter how often I tried. Soon the electrical grid of the city gave up, and I couldn’t charge my phone anywhere. It didn’t matter, though, as the cell towers had shit the bricks far before electricity did.

I miss them so much. To be fair, I miss anyone who isn’t either growling and gurgling or murdering other survivors for sport. However, these days friendly faces are incredibly hard to come by. I haven’t seen one in six months. I’ve seen other faces, but I’ve been avoiding those like plague. I just wish I had someone to talk to, but those groups aren’t suitable for a quick friendly chat.

It’s night time. I’ve been waiting for this moment for months. The clear dark blue sky. The bright moonlight shining ominously over the courtyard and glass roof of the building. The eerie breeze blowing over the city, patting my determined face with soothing gentleness. Perfect conditions for such operation.

I perform some breathing exercises and ruffle my scruffy hair, trying to shake any doubts as well as keep myself fresh and ready for action. I raise my collar and take out a mask which I slide over my face and overgrown hair. I fasten the straps of said mask to my plated hoodie and double-check the connections of my vest. I place a headlamp over the mask and test the light in my cupped hands. I pat my belt to feel my hatchet and a knife in their rightful places.

_It’s time for insertion._

I drop down from the tree and dash towards the main entrance of the hospital, carefully minding my surroundings. I enter the lobby and duck behind the counter of the cloakroom. I look around only to see some corpses lying about. Puddles of meat would be a more specific term as there isn’t much left to define. Probably taken care of by other roamers months ago.

As I traverse a hallway, a terrible smell hits me. It’s a combination of wet farts and rotting flesh, no doubt coming from the many rooms where patients used to be. I suppress my need to gag as I step forwards as silently as ever. Luckily, the moon is on my side, shining its scarce light all over the hallway, keeping me safe from bumping into wheelchairs and more corpses that litter the ever-shortening hallway. This saves me from using my lamp and in turn keeps me hidden should there be any roamers about.

I arrive to the elevators. I crouch near them and assess my surroundings. I should turn the next few corners and arrive to an exceptionally long and wide hallway. As I start to move towards it, I hear a ghastly metallic clank.

_…what?!_

I almost drop on my stomach, taking hasty cover near an unusually large plant pot. I don’t see the source of the noise. I stay still for quite a few minutes when I finally feel a cool breeze. I decide to look up.

There is a huge crane-like construct sticking into the glass roof, dangling from the side. It looks very dangerous to be around. I’m probably right to deduce that the metallic clanking noise came from that. Feeling a bit relieved, I begin to vacate the area and walk across the hallway that stretches for almost 70 yards across. During the walk, I find myself thinking back to the memories tied to this place.

My childhood dream was to become a doctor one day, to walk these halls like a hero with a pristine white coat instead of a flowing cape. This dream had stayed with me for quite some time, although I forgot about it when I enrolled into middle school. Bullying eroded my will and turned me into a scared and lonely boy incapable of thinking beyond school. Even though I could only focus on school, my grades began to suffer and my parents were scrambling to find the source of the problem. I never did tell them I was bullied. They seemed to be so busy with their new business that I was afraid to make them worry. After all, it was my cross to bear.

Back during high school freshman year I was still quite a loser. Most of my days were spent playing video games, watching anime, and reading the occasional manga. I did have some friends, however, as they found new hobbies and activities, we drifted apart. I didn’t have a lot of friends to begin with, but seeing the ones closest to me forget our relationship hurt me. This made me bubble up in my video games even more.

Then, however, I suddenly got sick of it. The loneliness didn’t bother me that much, and I was happy with my hobbies. What bothered me a lot was the soon-arriving exams that loomed over every high schooler head like a thunderstorm. I was pretty sure I could pass them, yet passing them wasn’t enough for me. I needed more. This hunger for self-improvement gave me much needed drive to do something else, so I decided to take some extra classes offered by the university. Anatomy and physiology were the ones I excelled at, microbiology was a toughie, but biochemistry was the death of me. I managed to scrape together much needed points that would have helped me with my university application. Some professors actually showed increasing interest in me, so I felt like it was only a matter of time before I got to enact my childhood dream.

I was right. It was a matter of time. The problem is that right now, time stays still. I never got to hand over my application. For the love of god, I couldn’t even finish my senior year and do the exams. My bright future was taken from me. Stolen by this.

I reach the end of the hallway and enter a stairwell. This one is totally pitch black so I flick on my headlamp and start to sneak down the stairs. I hear the same metallic clanking, but…

_Something is not right at all._

Something rushes towards me from the bottom of the stairwell. I scramble to grab my hatchet, but I’m too late. The guttural growling reaches a harrowing crescendo as I come in contact with the shadow.

I fall onto my side and lose any footing I previously had. The stairs catch me. I struggle with the body on top of me, desperately trying to get some distance between us.

I feel a hand grab me. Claws dig into my armored collar which protects my precious neck. For a split second I felt really glad I armored it like this, however, this feeling of success is shattered as I receive my first blows to the head.

Answering with some unfocused punches towards the now screaming face that’s few inches from my face, I luckily connect one. This does laughable damage and the monster’s grip on my neck tightens.

In all the chaos I can hear something else…

_Whispers…? This can’t be happening now!_

I hold the roamer away from me with my right arm while patting my belt for a knife. This takes a while, but I grab onto the wooden handle. I slide the weapon out and prepare for an attack.

Miss.

I try to pull my knees together in order to push the roamer away from me, however, I soon realize he’s too close to me. This action wastes valuable time as I feel my vision get blurry.

I take another stab at the monster.

Miss.

His flailing arms hit my head a couple of times which disorient me more. I charge up another attack.

_YES!_

I hear a scream and feel his grip on my neck weaken. I clutch the sides of the wall. I bang my hands against the prickly texture to push myself upwards. Following that, I quickly raise my feet from under the roamer and start to bash at it with the back of my boot. Focusing my light on the bottom of the stairwell, I see the gurgling body of my attacker fall into the depths.

Feeling my heart beat viciously, I take a few quick breaths in. Relief of a battle won is soon shattered.

I hear them again.

Millions of voices.

_Leave me alone!_

I begin to hyperventilate. I fight the urge to rip my mask off.

_Please!_

My vision blurs again with nothing holding onto my neck. I feel the room spinning uncontrollably.

_Help me!_

I begin to scream, but manage to muffle it with my gloves. The whispers only get louder…

_Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head_

Hours. Or is it minutes? Seconds?

I shake my head.

Silence…

I find myself covering in fetal position. I see the body in the bottom of the stairwell. It doesn’t move.

_That’s the enemy, Mike. You’re okay._

Only now I realize I’m shivering like a maple leaf during a storm. I glance at my hands which are illuminated by my headlamp.

_They’re yours, Mike. It’s time to get up._

I slam my hands on the floor and dash down the stairs, trying my best to ignore the body lying next to the door. Bashing through the door, I collapse on the floor of another hallway.

I turn off my light and slide towards the nearby wall. I clutch my heart which beats with such ferocity that I fear it will burst out of my chest. I feel my eyes get used to the darkness, however, it’s still hard to see anything. It’s time to use the headlamp again.

_I made it! The hospital pharmacy!_

To my left opens a welcoming sight. Two doors leading to my destination and salvation. My gratitude begins to dissipate as quickly as it came to be for I discover the doors firmly locked. Blood is also splattered all over them. I delve into my memories and deduce that the only way to get these doors open is to use a car… Or a tank… Or…

_The backup generators!_

Standing up, I peek inside the rooms. I see something move inside, only to realize that it’s the remaining employees of this department. They’re all wearing their white coats. It’s painfully apparent that entering the compound isn’t the end to my troubles. Still, I like to take it one step at a time.

I think back to my sophomore year and remember a group of medical students showing me and some other fresh faced high schoolers around the hospital. They were pretty cool people: smiling and being quite friendly with us, even though we were kind of stupid and arrogant at the time. After guiding us through the common departments of the hospital, they asked us if we wanted to go on the roof. “Like fuck yeah, dudes! Of course we do!” was our immediate reaction to that offer, so we climbed up some flights of stairs to a more distant part of the building. This place held much of the mechanical side of the hospital. Server rooms for the computers, boiler rooms, electrical boxes of all sorts, and above all else… The backup generator room. I didn’t enter it, we just passed it to go to the roof, but I remember that place.

Some doubts creep up regarding my plan. Wouldn’t those generators be toast already? If the electrical grid failed a while ago, then these generators would have surely been activated by themselves. Judging by the darkness, it’s safe to say that right now the generators are either bust or they didn’t activate at all. I decide that it would be worth checking out, however, another problem then arises. What happens when I do activate them? The whole hospital lights up like a Christmas tree in the middle of the night, surely attracting roamers en masse. What would I do then?

I don’t have an answer to that question. Standing there near the two metallic doors, I can’t help but feel strangely determined to get in there. I guess I’m anxious to leave all of this behind, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t wait another day, right?

All these months I’ve been avoiding the city and thought to myself that this was the thing keeping me alive. It wasn’t easy living in the countryside, but at least it was more uneventful than my time in the city would have been. During my travels I’ve seen people from many walks of life, however, they mostly always come from the city. They have had the best shit, and some of the guys I saw even had hunting rifles.

_Maybe I should have risked more. Maybe I could have already left this place._

I try to think about it, but it’s pretty apparent that my mind is already made up. I start to walk towards the stairwell yet again.

Despite the sudden rush of determination, I hold my hatchet tightly and move as carefully as before. It can get pretty boring after a while, but I’ve gotten used to the boredom. Small price to pay for survival. I’ve been told that soldiers experience mind-numbing boredom, and some have even said that this is the most dangerous thing during wartime. You begin to act careless. This makes you not notice key elements of certain situations. This leads to you or your comrades dying.

I arrive to the last stairwell. The climb is as uneventful as ever, and I push towards the door which leads me to the hallway. I don’t need to use my light anymore as moonlight takes care of the illumination. I search for a big metal door.

I freeze.

The door is wide open.

This could mean a lot of things. One possibility is that it has been left open months ago. People tried to use the generators and failed, rendering my plan of reactivating them useless. Or it could have been left open during the day of the outbreak, meaning the generators are still potentially operable. Secondly, there could be people here right now.

My heart starts to beat furiously as I sneak towards the door. My hatchet is already out, but I raise it upwards, ready to hack at anything or anyone. I try to look inside, but, unfortunately, moonlight can’t bend itself over corners, so I’m left with the only solution. I flick my lamp which shines artificial light all over the room.

There are canisters up the ass, probably containing more fuel than I could have ever used to keep my 81’ Nissan Shitbox satisfied. I turn to one canister and bang against it. It seems to be full, so whatever the problem is, fuel shortage isn’t it. I then turn to the big cupboard-like structure which contains the mechanism used to activate the generators. The latter are placed under fuel barrels connected by a central mechanism. I can’t make heads or tails of the stuff inside the cupboard, so I begin to look around for a manual of some sort. It’s laughably naive to think that a manual would just be lying there, but what other choice do I have? Keel over and give up?

Shelves nearby offer no instruction as to how one could manually activate the mechanism. Then I spot something gleaming at me. After walking closer to it, I see that it’s a pristine book caked in dust, looking right at me. I grab it and start to examine the book.

_Bingo!_

I flip through the pages. I can’t make any sense of it, but finding it was absolutely impressive. Noticing a stupid grin on my face, I begin to think that with this luck I should buy a lottery ticket…

_I heard something._

Standing in the middle of the room, I feel a cold sense of dread wash over me.

_Did I hear footsteps?_

My sense of dread goes into overdrive as I realize that my light has been on this entire time, and I’ve been staring right at the open door. The open door that is my only way out of here. There is no way they wouldn’t know I’m here.

I gulp and keep looking at the door. My fingers feel numb. I can’t move my feet.

_Could it have been my imagination?_

_Mikey…_

_I mean… I’m not the most stable person…_

_Mike!_

_…and there’s plenty of things talking in my head anyway…_

_Mikey, listen!_

_I must be alone!_

_Mike!_

_I can’t die here…_

_Mike, for fucks sake, run!_

_I’m so close…_

_RUN!_

Something kick-starts my flight-or-fight response. I flick off my light and tuck the manual between my belt, switching it with my hatchet as I take slow but hasty steps towards the door. Arriving closer to it, I see moonlight. I start to book it.

After I leave through the door, I collide with something.

„Agh!“

The shadow makes a noise and falls on the ground. My initial shock is replaced by crippling fear. I feel the shadow look at me.

_Fucking move!_

My legs start to move towards the left side of the hallway as I turn my head away from the shadow. My plan to reach the stairwell is quickly ruined. I grunt in pain as I was not ready for such a sudden impact with the floor. I thought it was my own clumsiness, however, I feel something clutch my feet.

Turning on my back, I see the shadow move closer to me and raising its hand. I don’t want to find out what it holds, so I bash my foot at their face.

„Kyaa!“

The shadow recoils. I crawl away from it, but feel them still tugging onto my limb. As I prepare my foot for another attack, I hear a loud whistle. It came from the shadow. It stuns me for a split second while I contemplate on the meaning of it. It dawns on me quite quickly that its purpose is to alert someone. To alert others.

In the confusion I manage to push myself up. The person is quite a bit shorter than me, but this means that it’s much more difficult to hit them as they tend to be quick with their attacks. This is proved by them arriving in front of me much faster than anticipated. I gamble on a defense and raise my left arm to block an attack. To my luck, it seems that I managed to block a fierce stab towards my face area. I raise my knee to bash them in the stomach. A girly yelp assures me that I connected. This makes them stumble backwards in pain.

I raise my hatchet and prepare for a strike, but this has been noticed by my attacker. I swipe, but obviously miss. This gives them an opportunity to grab my arm and…

My scream is but a whisper, but it still gets the message across. I’ve been sliced by something incredibly sharp which in turn makes me drop my hatchet. I grunt and immediately shoulder-check the assailant, knocking them out of balance. I then send a well-timed haymaker towards their face which connects perfectly. The whimper I hear confirms it. They don’t fall, however, they are so stunned that I decide to attack again. I lift my leg to do an optimistic kick.

The shadow gets it square in the chest and collides with the wall. I hear a nauseating _thump_ meaning that the back of their head actually took the brunt of the hit. As I thought, they slowly slump over and remain immobilized.

I try to look for my hatchet on the ground, but I’m interrupted by another voice.

„You _monster_!“

I immediately look behind me and see a much taller figure. I can easily tell it’s a female, however, contrary to the previous one, this assailant seems to move more slowly. Not only that. This one is much more calculated. And this one has two knives.

She blocks my exit and I know damn well that there is nowhere to go. My hatchet is somewhere on the ground, but it’s far too late to start looking for it. The other attacker’s weapon should be somewhere near as well, but I can already see the taller female step faster.

I raise my hands in order to prepare myself for the worst. I then realize how stupid I am. She’s not the only one to have knives.

Unfortunately, I am too late to reach for my belt as she starts to slice towards my position. Her movements are quick, but incredibly inaccurate. I’m able to dodge them with such ease that I realize that I’m being played. I also realize that my stamina begins to suffer with each dodge, which is probably the whole point of this. It’s like a lion chasing a gazelle.

_You need to attack._

Starting to notice a clear pattern, I do a swift side-step which makes the attacker recalculate their game. The time it takes for her to charge another attack gives me ample opportunity to gamble on a kick towards her hands. A metallic clanking noise tells me I’ve gotten rid of at least one weapon she had. Suddenly, my luck turns. I hear another whistle, meaning she called for backup like the first attacker. The sound of that makes my blood turn incredibly cold as panic starts to take over again.

I rush towards her and immediately dodge a stab. This proves to be a mistake as I essentially dodged right into her fist. It doesn’t do much damage, but it still disorients me somewhat, leaving me open for an attack.

Her first swipe is again quite lazy and inaccurate, but this time she follows up with a direct stab. I see it coming and barely manage to dodge left, hitting the hallway wall in the process. She then swipes forcefully towards my face, but I duck and charge her, dropping her on the floor.

She jams her knife into my shoulder, and this time I scream loudly. My raspy voice getting used for the first time in months… It sounds almost inhumane.

I stumble off the attacker and try to get up. I notice the knife still embedded in my shoulder which feels like it’s being ripped off. As I clutch my shoulder in pain, I feel something warm start to collect near my armpit.

The girl looks around her and suddenly picks something up. She attempts to attack with it once or twice, but it’s quite clear that not only is she tired, but also more flustered. There is no game here anymore, the roles have switched. Despite that, I’m still somewhat at a disadvantage. I’ve lost the ability to do much with my stronger arm, meaning that every attack has to be thought out even more.

I see a chance and begin to walk towards the figure.

„Get away from m-me! G-Get away!“

The panic emanates from her as she attempts to hit me with a hammer. I guide it into the wall with my left arm and kick her in the stomach.

„Augh!“

She backs away and tries to punch me, but I’m ready for it. I grab her fist with my left hand and try to twist her arm, however, she manages to grab the knife in my shoulder. I immediately freeze.

_I can’t reach her this quickly!_

The pain of the knife leaving my wound is unbearable, so I push her away and stumble backwards, clutching my shoulder with a whimper.

She walks closer. Hunched over and bleeding from her face, but still walking. She charges at me with the knife, but her stab is cut incredibly short as I launch my right fist towards her jaw. She manages to catch my hoodie, but my prediction was ultimately correct. She loses consciousness and falls over.

I look at her limp body and close my eyes for a split second. I know damn well that I have to get out of here, but my body is unable to make the charge towards the stairwell. I’m completely drained of any strength and my shoulder is stinging. I manage to catch a few short breaths when I feel something pull towards my neck.

I immediately try to grab it, but it’s little use. I’m being pulled away from the stairwell. I try to pry myself free from what seems to be a baseball bat, however, this attacker is much stronger than me.

I manage to wedge my hands on the bat and pull it away enough so that I can get at least some air into my lungs. This burns my stamina more and more, and I quickly feel my arms get very heavy. Not to mention the fact that my right arm begins to give. My vision starts to get blurry.

The whispers return…

_Mikey!_

I start to lose strength in my left arm as well.

_Mike!_

My right arm is already limp due to the immense pain.

_I’m going to die._

_Knife!_

A lightbulb goes off in my head.

_Do I still have a chance?_

_Fucking use the knife!_

I grab a familiar wooden handle and take a stab behind me. Something grunts, and the body behind me recoils as the bat gets removed from my neck. I barely manage to break the fall with my left elbow. I don’t have much time and every second not looking at the attacker is basically suicide, so I get up and turn around, seeing the shadow of my opponent.

_Her stance… It looks oddly familiar…_

As she begins her attack, I notice a faint limping motion. My knife did its job, but the sheer confidence emanating from the attacker frightens me.

_I don’t want to die._

_However…_

_If I have to, it’s going to be hard for these bastards to take me._

She swings her bat at me a couple of times. I manage to evade these attacks with my bare minimum. During the fifth swing my luck turns. The knife I was holding flies out of my hand. I don’t even know what I was doing with it. I can’t think clearly anymore.

I launch a desperate maneuver to disarm the assailant. During her swing I grab ahold of the bat and try to pull it. This alone isn’t enough, but stepping on her toes helps me distract her. I pull at it again and throw it behind me. The attacker grunts in frustration.

We both realize that there is nothing else to do other than to use our fists. She begins the tight melee by launching a few good punches towards my face. Suddenly, my right shoulder screams, and I feel my vision blur. She hit the jackpot. The whispers return…

_„Get out-…!“_

I send a punch towards her face. She dodges it.

_„…of my fucking…“_

An uppercut aimed and timed perfectly, however, the lack of strength of the attack leaves it countered by her.

_„…head!“_

I send a haymaker from my left, putting most of my energy into it. She gets hit by it and falls against the hallway wall.

For a moment I thought I was victorious, but this feeling quickly dissipates as I see her recover with relative ease. I try to step back and gather some much needed energy, but her pursuit is relentless. She raises her fists and I have no other choice but to try and defend.

Every. Single. Punch. Everything connects. Every attack is timed perfectly to the point of milliseconds. My block achieves absolutely nothing, and I feel my face swell up. There’s something warm dripping from my eyebrows and nose. I try to raise my fists again as I see her prepare another barrage of hits.

She winds up an attack.

I jump on it.

Hitting her square in the face, I hear a disgusting crunch. She immediately recoils and clutches her nose. I wipe my face to get a clear view of what just happened. It takes me a few quick moments to follow up with a kick and it works wonders. She flies on the ground, slamming her head against the floor.

I hear her grunt and squeal as I look around me. I try to find a weapon, but it’s far too dark to see anything. I then step on something.

I grab the wall for support and pick up a knife. I immediately know it’s not mine as the handle is custom built for someone whose hands are quite a bit smaller than me. I pay no mind to it as I raise my gaze towards the shadow. It claws at the ground behind her in order to get as much distance between me and her. My heavy footsteps make a ghostly sound between quiet whimpers and gurgling noises. She arrives at a window which has been letting inside all the moonlight. She realizes that she’s cornered so she looks back at me.

Her emerald eyes convey so much emotion at once. Fear. Regret. Disgust. Anger. Sadness.

I freeze.

_I’ve been here before already. I’ve done the same thing._

_Mike…_

I grab my head with my hand.

_Mike, do it._

„No…“

The girl looks at me in mild confusion.

_Mike, you have to._

I shake my head.

_It’s not your fault. You know how this world works._

„I don’t want to…“

_Mike. She’s the enemy._

„No! I can’t do this again!“

_She’s the fucking enemy, Mike! She’ll hunt you down like the dog you are!_

„Please…“

_And when she finally gets you…_

„Shut up…“

_You’re going to wish you were never born at all._

„Get out!“

_Kill the bitch! Make her suffer!_

„STOP!“

_Hahaha! You can’t fight it, you coward! You need this! You need to kill her!_

„GET OUT OF MY HEAD!“

I open my eyes. My scream pierced nothingness.

It takes me a while to comprehend that I’m still in the hallway. I look at the girl in front of me. Her emerald eyes convey so much emotion at once.

Fear. Regret. Disgust. Anger. Sadness.

_…Hope?_

_DUCK!_

I barely manage to do so. This proves to be the right move as milliseconds later something heavy hits the wall. Whatever it was, it missed my head by mere inches. I look back to see the short girl step backwards. I assume whatever she swung at me is embedded in the wall.

There is no hesitation now.

I swipe at her with my newly found weapon. She quickly dodges it, but I keep at it. Her yelping indicates that I hit meat a couple of times. She looks barely conscious. Makes it easier to do what I’m about to do.

I take a swing with my left arm which gets countered by her. As she holds my left arm in the air, I drop my knife and grab it with my right hand. Although moving that limb at all is terribly painful, I thrust it forwards, hoping to hit her gut. However, my grip on it is so weak that she grabs my hand and disarms me almost laughably fast. I overestimated myself. More importantly… I underestimated her.

She grabs the knife and slashes at my face with sudden streaks of force. I try to dodge them as best as I can, but at this point I’m far too slow and tired to block everything. Even one slip-up could effectively disable me. This goes on for a few seconds as I try, but fail, to launch a counterattack multiple times. Then it happens. The unthinkable.

The scream I let out is terrifying…

I clutch my eye. Something warm pours out of it.

I start to flail around in sheer desperation. My mind is split between whispering and pain. The concept of reality starts to fade as I begin to understand that my end is near. I’m blinded by blood, not even sure there is anyone around me. Suddenly, I feel a strong arm close my airways. I’m in a chokehold. My vision blurs.

The short one picks something up. I can see she’s taking her time, looking past me to communicate her thoughts with the other party who is holding me still. The moonlight shines on what seems to be a hammer. I try to struggle but there’s no use. The short one raises her arm…

_Goodbye, Mikey._


	2. Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the long battle, the traveler gets captured by his assailants. What happens next sets the stage for a new chapter in his life.

I drift in and out of consciousness. Time has no meaning to me. There’s nothing to feel, nothing to hear, nothing to see. Only tiny squiggles and flashes hopping around in my head, confined to my mind. They disappear and reappear as if controlled by an all-knowing conductor who waves it’s wand to the rhythm of an unknown song.

From out of the blue, I feel pain. The stimulus is so sudden and frightening that it shuts down my mind, extinguishing any hopes of an awakening. Yet there’s a crack in the barrier – a connection established between my mind and my body. The conductor moves its wand again, only this time the rhythm is clear. I begin to understand.

Soon enough, the pain reappears. The abstract art my mind painted before me is replaced by bits and pieces of memory. Of what, I can’t grasp, for these pass by me in almost impossible speeds. Screams. Footsteps. Echoes of whispers, shouts, conversations – all too far from me to hear. There’s still some resistance, yet the conductor doesn’t give up. Fierce movement means that the window of opportunity is gradually opening; an erratic dance between my subconscious and the reality of outside world. It takes maybe seconds, minutes, and hours. Maybe even years or centuries, but there’s a line to be seen. I step towards it.

Pictures of my life stand before me. They’re blurred and filled with quiet static. A gasp of air; the conductor waits. A shaky exhale; the conductor waves. The code is broken, and the memories slow down.

Like grabbing an apple from a tree, I extend my arms towards a flicker of light.

_“Hey, baby brother! What’s up?”_

_“Hi, sis! Not much. What about you?”_

_“Come on,” she chuckles and sniffles. “You know damn well what’s up.”_

_“Alright. You got me,” I relent. She knows me too well._

_“So, you gonna ask me, or what? I know you want to.”_

_“We don’t have to-…”_

_“Please,” she scoffs. “You’re dying to know.”_

_I exhale deeply and grit my teeth._

_“Fine. Why’d you do it this time?”_

_“Because she’s an asshole,” she answers rather calmly, yet the suppressed anger is obvious. “Something needed to be done.”_

_“Right before my birthday? Honestly, if you didn’t want to visit, you could have just said so.”_

_“This had nothing to do with you, Michael!” she presses out, whispering. “I can’t believe you’d even think that!”_

_“Then what was it?!” I shout, but immediately pull back. It takes me a few seconds to calm down. “I’m sorry. I just miss you.”_

_“Aw, Mike, come on…”_

_“I haven’t seen you in months! And… I really need to talk to you,” I mutter silently. She tries to say something, but I quickly cut her off. “Face-to-face.”_

_She sighs a few times, as if trying to come up with a right response. I let her stew for a while._

_“Things are that bad?”_

_“Pretty much,” I answer, curling the landline cord around my finger. “I don’t know what to do, Jessica.”_

_“Look, bro, you need to tell mom and dad about this. You can’t keep hiding it forever!”_

_“They don’t ca-…”_

_“Shut the fuck up, Michael!” she whispers. “You’re their son! Of course they care!”_

_I support my forehead on the living room wallpaper and close my eyes._

_“Just…,” I begin, but catch a lump in my throat. I breathe in and try again. “Please, Jess. Try to contain yourself…”_

_“Contain myself?”_

_I regret my word choice immediately. I bang my head against the wall a few times._

_“You think I did it because I got angry?”_

_“No… Jess-…”_

_“You’re fucking right, Michael!” she shouts, but quickly lowers her voice. “You’re right, I’m angry! It’s not about me anymore!”_

_“What do you mean? I don’t unde-…”_

_“There are girls here who haven’t seen their families in four months!” she whispers, clearly enraged. “She keeps punishing them for bullshit reasons! All of this just to fuck with us!”_

_She takes a deep breath and mutters something. It sounds like she’s counting, but I don’t dare say anything._

_“She’s an alcoholic bitch, and that’s what we wanted to prove to the committee, but someone ratted us out.”_

_The battle in my mind reaches a turning point. Knowing Jessica, my next proposal is a Hail Mary, but I’m out of any other options._

_“Why can’t you just play her game? You can’t keep fighting the warden and expect to win!”_

_“Have you forgotten what I told you?! I need to do this!”_

_The answer is just what I expected from her. My sister’s tenaciousness is something I’ve been admiring ever since we were kids. I almost crack a smile after hearing her defend her beliefs, but remembering why I called, the emotion fades._

_“But you won’t win!” I almost plead her._

_“Of course I won’t win! It’s not about winning, Michael. It’s about standing up for what you believe in,” she says. I can tell she’s hesitating, yet she quickly finishes her thought. “And standing up for yourself.”_

_“You know I’m not as strong as you!” I immediately blurt out, but Jessica has none of it._

_“Come on, baby brother! You are!”_

_“I’m not!” I shout, as anger starts to take over. “I really am not, Jessica! That’s why I need to see you!”_

_Another skirmish ends without a meaningful conclusion. I rub my face and take a seat on the living room carpet. The phone cord barely reaches there, leaving my hand in an uncomfortable position._

_“Mom and dad,” she finally breaks the silence. “They’re coming, right?”_

_“Yes,” I answer, standing up again. “They left ten minutes ago.”_

_“Look, bro. I can try to convince them to say something on my behalf, but I’m pretty screwed here. The warden is out for blood, so I won’t promise anything.”_

_I nod to myself. She rarely takes this sincere of a tone, which is why I know she is going to try her best. There’s no reason to push her anymore._

_“Thank you, sis. It means a lot to me.”_

_She chuckles and groans._

_“God, you’re corny!”_

_I join in on the laughter. It lasts only for a second, but the air is much less tense._

_“Alright listen, Mike” she says, after we’ve been quiet for some time. “I need to go. Promise me that you’ll stay safe!”_

_“I don’t know, Jess…”_

_“You can do it,” she tells me in her softest tone, attempting to give me encouragement, but I don’t believe anything she says. “Have you at least talked to Sayori about this?”_

_“Sayori?” I mutter back, sighing. “We kind of had a falling out. I’m not sure she wants to see me right now.”_

_“Talk to her,” Jessica insists. “She helped you before, she can help you now, right?”_

Something heavy hits the back of my head. I groan.

_“Ouch!” I exclaim and rub my neck. “I don’t know about that…”_

_“She’s your friend, right?”_

_“Yeah, but-…”_

_“She understands you. Don’t isolate yourself now, Michael.”_

Another bump. My shoulder is killing me.

_“Argh! Hey, Jessica! Call me back, okay?”_

_But silence greets me._

_“Jessica? Look, I’ll talk to her. Just call me back!”_

Something makes a peculiar noise like bits of gravel crunching together.

_“Jess?!”_

_There’s no answer._

“Jess!” I mumble, but immediately groan in pain.

„Guys?” a quiet voice asks. “Can’t we put something under his head?“

„What?“ a grouchy voice answers. „Are you kidding me? Do _you_ want to carry this piece of shit?“

„N-No…“

“Then stop telling me what to do!”

„C.C!“ another girl exclaims. “You’re not the only one carrying him, so lay off of her!”

One exasperated sigh later, the second girl answers.

“Right. Sorry, egh… What was I supposed to call you again?“

„Bacon!“

„This is so stup-…“

My eyelids fall and I succumb to darkness. Soon enough I wake up again. I try to mumble something, but my head aches so much that it’s difficult to form even short coherent sentences. After a while, I decide against trying.

„-… maybe question him about that. You all know that we’re out by now. It’s been weeks since we’ve been able to find a good spot. My guess is that this city is pretty much done for in terms of supplies.“

„What the hell do we do then? What if this piece of shit is useless? We’re going to die here!“

„C.C,“ a mellow voice says, „we’re going to be fine. She’s been pulling us through for this long. Have some faith.“

„Easy for you to say, _Raven_.“

The nickname is uttered with certain hints of ridicule, which earns a quiet scoff from the mentioned person.

„What does that even mea-…“

„I understand your concern, C.C,” a nasally voice cuts in. “We will figure something out.”

„I believe in you, Mo-…! I mean, ehehe, what was it again?“ a girl giggles.

„For the love of all that is holy… Just say M, alright?“

„Okay!“

I shut down.

And I wake up again. This time it feels like it’s been a while. Most of my body weight is shifted to my knees, so it’s apparent that I’ve been relocated somewhere. I don’t really know where, and this information gives me nothing. What I do know is that every inch of my body screams. I try to pull my hands apart, but they’re firmly cuffed to the construct behind me. It seems to be a radiator of some sort.

My knees feel strained, so I shift my position to a more comfortable one. This, however, brings the pain back. My shoulder stings and my face feels like it has been ripped apart. After unsuccessfully suppressing multiple groans, I’m able to take in my new environment. Focusing on my surroundings, I deduce that I have a blindfold on as it should be much lighter outside. Not only that, my mask has been removed along with my beanie, leaving my overgrown hair fall on my face.

I sit like this for a while and try to stay quiet. I’m too tired to think of an escape plan, and I’m not sure I could even manage something like this in my condition. As soon as I let my head rest on my chest, I hear a sudden creak. It resembles the sound of an old door. The noise is followed by hesitant footsteps, which, gradually, become more confident and stop a few feet away from me.

„Wake up,“ the voice commands.

My lack of response proves to be a mistake. Suddenly, I feel something press against my shoulder. My mouth turns into a grimace. The owner of the voice chuckles and taps her feet.

„Are you infected?“

I shake my head.

„Hmph! I guess we’ll find out eventually.“

Footsteps. She begins to pace in front of me.

„I’m really _fucking_ insulted, you know? You threw me around like a marionette back there.“

Her voice grows louder with every sentence. I finally recognize it. It’s the hotheaded girl from before.

„It must have felt great, right? Beating up a bunch of girls – makes you feel good, doesn’t it? I’m sure overpowering _me_ was such a feat for you. I imagine how _great_ you felt. Did it feel great? _Did it_?!“

The conversation is quite one-sided and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

„You’re not really talkative. Must be your shoulder, right? Or maybe your eye?”

She laughs and makes a pause in her pacing as if waiting for a response. I don’t take the bait, which is why she keeps on walking around.

„It was _so good_ to finally put you in your place! I really hope that I did something to it. Although, I must say that the human body is quite durable. I’ve found that out the hard way.“

I hear her crouch in front of me. Her voice takes a more gentle tone, however, there is nothing friendly about it.

„I know you may feel lonely and scared. Trust me, I’ve been there! You’re hoping that this time there’s some sort of an escape, hoping that whatever god you decide to pray to will finally answer. It’s not a good place to be in, because no matter how long you pray…”

She exhales deeply and lowers herself to my ear. Her voice was barely audible before, but now it’s just a whisper.

“Do you want to know an awful little secret?“

The words slide effortlessly off her tongue. My heart starts to beat furiously. Her voice is drenched in anticipation.

„Whatever happened before is nothing compared to what’s going to happen now.”

I hear her stand up. For a moment I’m able to garner some hope that her actions will contradict her words, but such childish wishes are quickly swept away. A sudden jolt of pain strikes my face.

„Welcome to _my_ hell, scavenger!“

Another punch from the same side. I begin to feel nauseous.

„We’re not going to stop now!“

She places her foot on my shoulder. I bite my lip.

„ _How does it feel?!_ “

She leans in. I yelp and screech something unintelligible.

„What was that?!“

„Fuck you!“

My insult is answered by laughter.

“And what do you know? He talks!” she shouts and takes her boot off my chest.

Another punch greets my face. This one was sloppy, meaning her anger is showing. She’s losing control.

„That wasn’t nice, was it? But I’m going to be honest, it doesn’t bother me!“

Something hits my stomach. I gag.

„After all, I’ve heard it from guys like you before! Even people close to me!“

Again.

„And I just… _don’t_ … _care_!“

Again.

Saliva drips from my mouth as I take slow breaths, trying my best not to vomit my guts out. As soon as I’m able to focus on something other than my nausea, I notice that she’s panting. The continuous onslaught she provided must be tiring.

„I should get to the point now,” she declares, after taking her time. “The others don’t know I’m here, but I decided to pay you a visit nonetheless. I guess I owed you that.“

She taps her foot and sighs.

„You alone?“

_Don’t say it, Mike._

I force my mouth shut. There’s no way I’m falling for it.

„Figures. You’re not a softie, are you?“

I know I’m going to suffer for my silence, but it looks like she has decided to take a break.

„You almost took us down. I didn’t expect you to be that capable to be honest.”

Her congratulatory demeanor changes immediately when she realizes what she said.

„J-Just tell me… Where are you from? Where are the others?“

_I can’t answer that. I don’t have anyone._

„Come on!“ she laughs and starts to pace around again. „You expect us to believe that you took just one bag with you? Do you think we’re that stupid? It’s obvious you have a camp somewhere.“

_Don’t._

„I just want to know where it is. Tell me!“

Battling with my thoughts, I come to a conclusion that divulging any information would prove disastrous to me. Giving them what they want would sign my death warrant. Even if they let me go, I would be dead without my supplies anyway.

_Please… Let this be over._

„Very well then,“ she scoffs. “Your call.”

And so the trials begin. I receive punch after punch, and with each passing moment I feel dangerously close to blacking out.

_I can’t take this anymore._

My face feels swollen, my eyes are twitching, and my mouth is filled with something warm and metallic. I spit its contents out. To both of our surprise, something else leaves my mouth.

„Holy shit, _a tooth_?! Wow, dude! You’re getting fucked up!“

I growl and cough.

„Look, this can all end right here, alright?“

_Sure. We could choke the life out of you, you miserable cunt._

I spit out more blood.

„I think it’s pretty obvious what you have to do,” she says silently, but quickly switches gears. “Just _fucking tell me WHAT I WANT TO FUCKING HEAR_!“

I brace myself for another punch, but this time a familiar creak is heard. Someone runs inside the room.

„C.C!“

A gasp.

„What the fuck are you doing?“ the demanding voice asks sternly.

„What does it look like?” my interrogator answers with a scoff. “I’m _talking_ to him.“

„I can see that. You mind telling me why you didn’t wait for me?“

„Was I supposed to?“

„Yes.“

„Maybe I thought that you were too chicken to do the right thing!“

A moment of silence.

„Stop. We’re not talking about this right now.“

„Fine. Why are you here?“

„I was supposed to tell you that „Bacon“ found something hidden in the basement. Something for you and Raven to share.“

„She did?“ my interrogator answers. It sounds like her anger has vanished into thin air.

„Yes. You should go find her.“

Hasty footsteps leave the room, but I’m not left alone just yet. Another round of footsteps approach me.

„Oh my! She beat you pretty hard. Doesn’t look like she got anything out of you though.“

I keep my head down. I don’t know what to make of this new personality.

„Even though her visit wasn’t planned, I’m afraid the questions are still the same,” she says and smacks her lips. “I’m going to ask you again. This time I expect an answer.“

_Don’t do it, Mike._

„Are you alone?“

Painful seconds go by as silence pierces the room.

„Where’s you camp?“

_You got this._

„Why were you in the hospital?“

My heartbeat quickens. I’m delaying the inevitable.

_It’s going to be all right._

However, nothing happens.

„I’m going to leave for a few minutes, but that doesn’t mean we are finished.“

She walks towards me, arriving even closer to me than the previous girl.

„C.C was a bit rough around the edges, but I’m going to be honest with you: she’s quite boring. She knows hate and anger, but that’s about it. What she doesn’t know is true pain. She doesn’t know how to inflict serious damage. She’s all about the impulsive decisions.“

Her chuckling brings goosebumps all over my body. Her voice is almost demonic.

„Me? I’m different. You see, this is _my_ group of friends. People that _I_ care for very much.“

She makes a pause and crouches down.

„And I know damn well what I have to do to get you to talk. We’ll play for a long time, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.“

She gets up and walks off, closing the door with a slow creak. My mind starts to race, but soon I realize that I’m running out of options. She will probably get me to talk sooner or later as I’m too injured to fight back or endure this any longer. With this thought bellowing in my mind, I come to a harrowing conclusion that I’ve finally reached the end of the line. After months of careful traveling, I’m left with nothing to show for it. I haven’t even managed to leave my hometown. The thought of me surviving in the wilderness was just an encouraging story to tell. The truth is: there is no country for guys like me.

I hear the creak again. Preparing for my judgement day proves to be harder than I though. I try to restrain my breathing, but to no avail. Still, the silence continues, and I begin to wonder if I really heard the door opening or was it just my imagination. Another set of footsteps towards my direction tells me that I haven’t fully lost my mind yet.

„I-I’m going to talk to you a bit. If that’s okay.“

Her voice is tender, careful, and almost friendly. I feel unease as I begin to feel calmer.

_What the hell is this?_

„I’m going to take that as „yes“.“

She sighs and sniffles.

„You don’t have to prove anything. She’ll come back in here with her toolbox, and we all know what that means. She’s used it quite a lot. I-I don’t want to know what she’ll do to you…“

_Her voice is so familiar._

_Mike…_

_I’ve certainly heard it before._

_Don’t do it._

_Before this… Before everything…_

„She’s just looking out for us, you know?” she mutters almost apologetically. “I can’t really blame her for this. I’m sure you’ve felt the same way for someone.“

This is even worse than the beating. This is mental torture. I’m quite convinced this is some sort of a ploy.

_Keep it together._

„She’ll get her answers. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt anymore.“

Silence falls over the room. After a few minutes she speaks again.

„Do you want some water?“

My head flicks up before I manage to stop myself.

„Just don’t try anything, a-alright!“

I remain motionless. She brings a canteen to my lips and lifts it, letting water pour inside my mouth. I haven’t realized how much I needed it, and although my pride tells me to stop, my body tells me to keep drinking. This is something I learned on the internet once. “Take everything that they offer, be it food or water”. It’s funny to think that such smarts have become useful to me only when I’m almost on my deathbed.

I gulp everything down.

„She’s on a warpath now. The more you drag it on the more she’ll hurt you.”

_Don’t listen to her!_

I slump my head back on my chest.

„Do the right thing, okay?“

I stay silent. Her voice is almost pleading. Whoever she is, she’s too pure for this world.

She gets up and walks away.

My heart beats furiously, for I’m at a loss on what to do. Can I escape this alive? How would I even do it? Few minutes ago I was contemplating my certain death, but despite this little excursion, I’m not sure if anything has changed. They’re still going to question me about my stuff. They’re still going to hurt me.

As I attempt to come to terms with my fate, I realize that there are so many things I could’ve done differently with this situation. Not only that, but with my life in general. All the friends I’ve lost contact with, my parents, my sister – I didn’t get to properly say goodbye to any of them. I had squandered my chance for a meaningful and fulfilling life long before the outbreak happened. I wasted my time on superficial entertainment, ignoring the people closest to me and hurting them because of that. It’s quite clear that my premature death is as meaningless as my life has been. Meaningless and horrifying.

_Maybe I truly deserve it?_

I begin to feel a hard lump in my throat.

I ask myself if I’m going to comply and give away my possessions, but the answer to that is anything but straightforward. Some part of me doesn’t care anymore, yet another screams at me to stick through this ordeal. Both are valid options, but it’s all suppressed by the fatigue I feel that by now has its own voice.

Several footsteps are heard from the door, interrupting my thought process. After a few seconds, they shine a light at me. The blindfold blocks most of it, but it still feels exposing. A strong sense of unease washes over me, yet I manage to lift my head towards the people.

_That’s better, Mikey. Show them who you are._

„You’re still awake,” the stern voice says.

I nod.

„Very well. We’re all here. I’m sure you heard us already.“

I stay silent, waiting for her to continue. Then something heavy drops on the floor. A few things clatter. Suddenly, I feel terribly nauseous.

_The toolbox._

„You heard that, didn’t you? I’m sure you’ve had plenty of time to think about your next few words.“

_Keep it together, Mikey._

„I guess I should remind you the questions. _Are you alone_?“

The voice is demanding. Authority seeps from every word said. My nod doesn’t seem to convince them, but she moves on regardless.

„Where’s your camp?“

_Mike, don’t do it._

I stay silent while still keeping my head up.

„That’s okay. I’m sure it’s hard to betray something like that. I mean… All of us know that you have supplies somewhere. That’s pretty obvious.“

I grit my teeth.

„Why were you in the hospital?“

_What a fucking idiot…_

To my own surprise, laughter fills the room. It takes me a few moments to realize it came from my own mouth. There’s nothing funny about that question, which is why the tension in the room increases along with general confusion. It gives me odd satisfaction.

„Why do you think?“ I whisper. „Probably for the same reason as you…”

„To get supplies?“

„That’s a good guess,“ I answer.

„How were you planning on getting the generators working?“

I remember the manual I tucked between my belt, however, I don’t know if I have it on me right now.

_Hahaha, does it really matter?_

I change tactics.

„Try some things, tinker with something. You never know what could work.“

I hear someone tap their foot, signaling impatience.

_Maybe I can negotiate my way out of this?_

„You’re saying you know how to work that mechanism?“

_Who are you, Mikey?_

“Maybe,” I say with a shrug.

„How about you tell us?“

I smirk.

_That’s my boy._

„How about you let me go? Maybe then we’ll talk about the generators.“

Bluffing is risky, yet it’s the best play I can think of. I’ve never been good at poker, although I’ve enjoyed it immensely. Jessica has always told me that I suck at lying.

„No.“

The answer came quicker than I expected. My confidence falters, yet I still have some hope.

_She’s a moron._

„Well, I guess your question stays unanswered,“ I tell the group.

„No, I don’t think it will,” the sternly voiced girl answers. “I’m going to tear it out of you.“

_Don’t believe her._

The assurance in her voice tells me that she has no intention on playing nice anymore. With the newfound understanding of my current predicament, I decide to stay quiet. Despair begins to fill my heart.

„Alright. Maybe silence _is_ the best answer to that,” she utters while walking towards me. “How about you tell us something? Before we start this dance…“

_She’s not going to do it._

„What’s your name, scavenger?“

_Think about what they did to you._

But there is no need to. I know what they did, and I know what needs to happen.

I raise my head whilst suppressing every emotion. Holding back my tears, holding back my hope, holding back my desperate will to stay alive, I manage to summon a smirk like no other. The thought of me going away like this does bring a smile to my face. Maybe I can finally be worth something? Maybe I can finally be a man? Maybe I can finally prove it to myself?

_Here’s looking at you, Jess._

Despite my efforts, I’m close to losing it. The tension is unbearable. Every second erodes my willpower. The silence weighs on me like a wet blanket, suffocating the tiny fire burning inside of me.

“Just say your name,” the stern voice whispers. “Let’s begin anew.”

It fights a good fight, but some battles aren’t meant to be won. Suddenly, I don’t feel anything. My heart doesn’t beat as fast and my breathing is in check. Everything seems to be better, yet my mind is cluttered. The whispers come, but I’m not scared of them anymore. They seem friendlier this time.

There are many questions floating around, however, I don’t seem to care.

_I feel…_

_…like playing._

„ _Fuck… You…_ “

A punch hits me from the side. I recognize the shape of the fist and the motion. It’s the angry one. The apparent „leader“ of the group was right about impulsive decisions.

„Are there others?“ the stern voice asks.

_This bitch can’t even torture you herself._

Silence prompts another punch, however, this time it hits my eye. I don’t even try to suppress my scream. It fills the entire room and echoes back for quite some time. I finish it by forcing myself to laugh. Suddenly, my mind feels elated.

_Come on! Let’s play!_

„How do the generators work?“

_Still no tools? She’s a coward._

I spit on the ground. Metallic taste still remains. Seems like the leader understood the sentiment before the other girl – the subsequent punches are filled with confidence.

„What’s your name?!“

I laugh again, not having to force it this time. It feels oddly soothing, but it has a price. I feel something sharp enter the already existing hole in my shoulder. I hear a faint yelp as I screech in pain.

„Are you alone?!“

_Again? My god, Mikey. They’re like a stuck fucking record…_

The question echoes in my mind. I barely hear it as the knife twists around inside the wound.

„ _FUCK YOU!_ “

They take the knife out, leaving me some breathing room, yet it only gets worse. My heart starts to beat furiously as I feel the cold steel on my neck. It’s not the leader’s voice anymore. It’s the grouchy one talking to me. Her voice whispers into my ear.

„Just tell us, scavenger!“

_She should fuck herself with that knife._

„ _Bite me,_ _bitch!_ “

There’s silence for a moment. A split second later someone grabs my jaw.

„C.C!“

Everything stops. I’m guessing that there’s some looks being shared.

The one holding the knife steps away from me and all other footsteps depart. I can hear them reach the end of the room. They start a discussion I barely hear, yet something catches my ear. There’s an argument brewing and some words get thrown about. One of the girls called the other one a familiar name. So familiar that without thinking, I perk my head up and exclaim…

„Sayori?!“

The room gets real quiet. There is no doubt that everyone heard me. I couldn’t control my tongue this time. I had to say something.

It feels like hours have passed. Suddenly, someone runs towards me. I get punched in the gut and begin to wheeze uncontrollably as I struggle to breathe. Despite the fact that I can’t draw any breaths, I get hit multiple times.

„What did you say?!“ the girl with the annoying voice yells at me.

_What the hell was that?_

I try to say her name again, but I’m stopped by another jolt of pain.

„WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!“

_You’re a fucking idiot._

She keeps on going. In the background, I hear a thud and a hopeless sigh.

„It’s over… Oh my god… It’s all over…“

_You’re a pussy, Mikey._

„WHAT DID YOU SA-… Wait… What?! WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S OVER?!“

„It… It’s over. He heard us. He heard it!“

I’m left baffled. I can hardly orient myself in the room. Everything spins.

„He heard it! They will come right at us now!“ the leader almost screams at others.

_But I only heard a name…_

„M? Who’s going to come at us?“

„EVERYONE!“

„What about the generators?!“

„FUCK THE DAMN GENERATORS! HE HEARD WHERE WE ARE!“

“N-No-…”

My attempt at speaking is violently cut short. The pain in my stomach reaches a maximum as I feel my insides turn. I whimper and attempt to shield my abdomen, but this leaves my shoulder exposed.

_Look what you did, Mike._

As I feared, the next strike hits the bullseye. I try to scream, but my voice has left me.

_We could’ve ended it right here… Now you’re going to spill everything._

I hear some crying in the background. It seems that for everyone, all hope is lost. The girl is too tired to beat me anymore, so she just stops for a moment. I finally get a word in.

„S-Sayori? Please…,“ I try to speak again, but the grouchy girl has none of it.

I feel my jaw get pushed upwards again, and this time I feel confidence. The hand doesn’t shake anymore.

_Finally… Just let it happen._

I begin to doubt myself.

_It can’t be them. They wouldn’t do this to me._

_Damn right they wouldn’t. You’re alone. Always have been._

I feel the blade shake on my skin.

_What a little bitch. Do it!_

_It doesn’t seem like she wants to kill me._

_…What? No!_

_I may have one more chance to stay alive._

_Wait!_

_I don’t know what else to say._

_Shut up!_

_Anything else is meaningless. I need to know._

_MIKE!_

_Even if they kill me now… I need to know. And I know exactly which question to answer._

„Sayori! It’s me! My name is Mik-…“

My voice wakes up my executioner, and I feel the knife press further and further into my throat. I try to speak, but only a gurgle comes out.

_This is i-…_

„STOP!“

I shiver. The knife stays on my neck. I can’t bear to breathe in fear of breaking my skin on the blade.

_The name… The voice. It’s her… It’s the girl from before._

„W-What d-did you say?“ she quietly asks.

Increasingly short on breath, I try to exhale in order to speak, but there’s already something warm dripping from my neck.

„Gnnnngh…“

_Give me a chance, damn it!_

„Please… Tell me… Finish what y-you wanted to say!“

„Sayori…? What the he-…?!“

„Don’t! Let him speak.“

The knife starts to fall away from my neck, scratching some skin along with it. I breathe heavily, finally able to gasp for air.

„You said y-your name, right? R-Right?!“

„Sayori… Honey…“

„ _Shut up_ , Monika!“

_Monika? …What?!_

The girl begins to cry. She falls on the ground before me.

„Please… p-p-please! What’s your name? You were t-telling us!“

_I don’t know anymore… What if it’s not her? What if I’m already dead? Does it all matter?_

My head spins. I try to figure out whether this could be another ploy or another clever method of torture, however, my mind refuses to answer me.

_Maybe this makes it so much easier._

„P-Please!“ she sobs.

_I need to try._

I raise my head. A whisper exits my swollen mouth, gradually changing into something I haven’t heard in a long time: my own clear voice. It fills the room.

„It’s Mike. My name is Mike.“

“Mike?” the mellow voice asks, filled with curiosity. “Mike who?”

I cough and spit some blood out.

“Mike Caulfield,” I growl.

The reaction is immediate.

„No! N-No, this can’t… This c-can’t be true!“

The sobbing girl comes closer. So close, in fact, that she cups my face with her hands.

„No…“

She removes the blindfold and throws it away. I’m blinded by the bright light. As my eyes recover from the brightness, I feel her hands nudge streaks of hair off my face. This gives me a chance to take a look at her. Her bright blue eyes gleam at me, searching for recognition from mine. I can see it clearly now.

_It’s her… It’s my best friend…_

„Sayori!“

„Mike, you’re alive!“

She grabs me into a bear hug and holds me as tightly as she possibly could. I feel my wounds scream, but I don’t care about the pain at all, even when she continues to claw at me as if trying to pry her nails into my skin. My face turns into a grimace of pain and suffering, but it also reflects pure happiness. I can’t really tell what she’s doing, as any noise she makes is muffled, but I do know that I’m both laughing and crying.

After some time, she breaks the hug, but doesn’t let go of my shoulders.

„Why aren’t you hugging me?“ she asks with a slight pout.

I move my hands in response. The cuffs make a metallic sound.

„I wish I could, Sayori,” I chuckle.

She purses her lips and giggles. Although it’s through her tears, my heart still melts at that.

„Natsuki, give me the key,” Sayori commands.

As she turns to face Natsuki, I’m finally able to glance at the girls.

Monika, the leader of the club, looks at me from the ground as if she had just seen a ghost. She must have fallen on the floor at some point. Her nose is held in place by a thick bandage that’s a dark shade of red. Her emerald eyes stare at me.

Yuri stands near a windowsill, gripping it with both of her hands. Her eyes are almost as big as Monika’s, however, she looks twice as pale as her. Yuri’s hair isn’t that long anymore, but it’s still the same shade of purple as I remember from high school.

While the first two had a more restrained reaction, Natsuki’s is totally different. When I finally turn towards her, she drops her knife and begins shaking her head. Her eyes are empty and filled with disbelief, so much so that she seems to be discarding her new reality altogether. The only thing she’s able to do is continuously mouth something, which I can only assume is…

„No… No… No… No…“

„Natsuki?“ Sayori sniffles and tries to get her attention, but the girl seems to be unable to anything other than grab her head.

„No… No…“

„Natsuki…?“

„ _No… No…_ _No… No…_ “

„Natsuki! Hey!“

Sayori raises her voice, beginning to sound more irritated.

„Natsuki!“

I’ve never seen her like this before. Her voice is menacing, however, it seems to bring the girl out of her trance. Natsuki slowly focuses on Sayori as if only now noticing her yell. Eventually, she takes out a small brass key and hands it to Sayori. Her movement is careful, and I can see every inch of her body tremble. She looks more like a lost child than the strong girl I remember.

I don’t dare to look at the club members anymore, instead keeping my head down while Sayori takes the key and quickly walks behind me. It seems like the cuffs prove to be quite a challenge for the girl, because after ten seconds of messing with them, she starts to giggle quietly.

“I forgot how to do this,” she mumbles. “Monika, how do you get these off again?”

I warily peek at Monika, who has already gotten up from the floor. She stammers with her words a bit, but manages to recover her confident voice. After a few instructions from her, the cuffs click and slide off. Sayori celebrates with a faint “Yay!” and rushes back to me. Immediately, she hugs me again, and this time I can do the same.

“It’s okay, Mike! We’re together again,” she sniffles, as we finally break the hug.

For the first time in a long while I feel immense relief and calm. My mind is finally empty: there are no whispers or malignant thoughts. Although my body is screaming in pain, I couldn’t care less. The only thing I find myself caring about is the girl before me, sniffling and sobbing and giggling all at once. The second I look into her blue eyes, a smile creeps up on my face.

However, the smile doesn’t last. In an instant I feel terribly weak. My attempts at grabbing Sayori’s hands bear no fruit, as my body doesn’t respond to my commands anymore. It’s apparent that after such trials, it too needs a rest. I make sure to keep my gaze on Sayori before falling on the ground.


	3. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the interrogation. Everyone recovers both mentally and physically, yet new challenges soon arise.

My body boots up. Slowly, but surely I start to feel my limbs, all of which feel like they’ve gone through a meatgrinder. Despite feeling certain cloudiness, I begin to take in my surroundings. I deduce that I’m lying on something solid but soft, resembling a couch of some sort. The fact that I haven’t yet felt the cold spring air that usually greets me in the mornings refutes the theory of me being outside. As a matter of fact, I feel quite warm. Maybe it’s because I’m covered in blankets and…

_Is that a coat?_

I move my hands on something.

_That’s a fur coat._

This is getting increasingly weird. I don’t really know where I am and it’s starting to bug me a lot. There’s no other way to make sense of the situation, other than to finally open my eyes.

What I see is a well-furnished room. There’s bookshelves, filled to the brim with every kind of book imaginable. A small glass coffee table, the surface of it reflecting sunlight that peers from the half-closed blinds. A couple of armchairs, which are placed around the coffee table. A neutral green wallpaper that, despite its cold and moldered nature, feels oddly familiar.

In order to get a better look of the other side of the room, I push myself into a sitting position. This proves to be a bad idea, because as soon as I move my upper body, I feel my shoulder sting. I groan quietly and fall back on the couch. Luckily, I’m able to shift my torso so that I can finish mapping out the place.

There’s a huge mahogany desk so grandiose that it could very well belong to an important government official. It has some folders as well as several office supplies on it. Looking further, I spot something that makes me jump in fear: a person. The sudden fright doesn’t last very long as memories catch up to my thoughts. Gradually, I start to remember everything: the long trek, the hospital, the whispers. I even remember…

_…the fight._

Images of the battle present themselves. Immediately, I find myself reaching for my eye. It has a thick piece of cotton on it, being held in place by a bandage. The more I focus on my body the more bandages and band aids I feel. They’re tight, and although some feel out of place, they’re wrapped nicely enough.

I turn my attention to the person again. She’s slouched on the table, face angled sideways and her mouth agape. Despite the blinds, slim strips of sunlight press through, illuminating the big red bow in her coral pink hair, the latter being longer than I remember. The bow has seen some better days, however, it’s still recognizable. Something like this could only belong to my dear friend Sayori.

She’s deep asleep, as proven by the terrible tractor sounds she’s making. Although I would gladly like to lay still for a while, I feel like I haven’t tended to certain body needs for a while. This prompts me to search for a bathroom. I make sure to keep my groans to a minimum in order to avoid waking her up.

After tossing the blankets aside and getting up, I notice that besides my undergarments I’m totally naked. I come to a frightening realization that while I was out, someone must have undressed me and tended to my wounds. For the latter I’m extremely grateful, yet it doesn’t quench the immense feeling of embarrassment.

I look around the room to see if there’s anything I can wear. Unfortunately, it seems like my clothes are nowhere to be found. I shortly locate my boots, which seem to be the only items belonging to me, and slide them on. Reluctantly, I peer at the fur coat; it’s as if it taunts me. With an exaggerated sigh I slide the fashion statement on, wincing in pain as the heavy coat falls on my shoulders.

Luckily, Sayori doesn’t wake up. Her snoring gets even louder, and I feel quite relieved that I get to leave the room. Back in school many studying sessions ended with her sleeping soundly and me trying to stay awake and finish both of our work. It was easy to stay awake, but her snoring was so annoying that I’d usually get nothing done. Listening to it now, I realize that there’s one tiny part of me that missed it.

Before leaving, I notice a name tag on the desk. The design is on par with everything else in this office. Elegant black letters on shiny gold-coloured metal spell „Reinhardt McHowall“ – the name of our principal. This means that the place is our high school.

I turn to the door and open it, looking into the hallway. The layout of my school slowly comes back to me, which is why I take a sharp left and begin my search.

I drift into thought.

I’ve known Sayori since I was a little kid. Being neighbours, we played together almost every day. She would spend many weekends visiting me and my family. In the beginning she had her mother with her, however, this would get rarer as time went on. I guess both families kind of drifted apart.

Sayori and I would end up in the same kindergarten. We were still thick as thieves up until primary school where we sat together for years. We played together every recession, fooled around during every lesson. We were so careless and full of life while we grew closer and closer.

Then middle school happened. I became a recluse of some sort. Boys in my class found out that I was such a good material for teasing that they started to do it almost every day. It only ramped up and gradually advanced into bullying territory. Sayori tried to stand up for me once or twice, but it was painfully clear that if she didn’t want to become another target, she was supposed to stay away. Although defending me didn’t work, she was there after every school day, willing to pick up my spirits like I did when we were younger. Of course, it wasn’t enough for me. I didn’t really understand it at the time, but as time went on I began driving her away. Some part of me did it to protect her, some part of me did it to protect me. I was afraid that she would turn on me as well. So I turned on her first.

Towards the end of middle school we had patched things up. We hung out more, but there was a rift between us. Mainly it had to do with my actions as Sayori really took it into heart that I decided to drive her away. I’m not sure if she understood why I did it, but I don’t think it mattered. She wanted to be there for me again, and this time I allowed it.

Things didn’t last. We both got accepted in the same high school, but our classes were at different times which greatly reduced our time together. We’d still meet during school time, like in hallways and during the lunch period, but not much after that. Gradually, I became a loner, finding comfort in my hobbies. This went on until senior year: the year I decided to begin anew.

After taking the university courses, I decided to humor Sayori and join her newly found club. She was the vice president of a literature club being led by Monika: a girl from my freshman class who I didn’t really talk to. Sure, I had done some group work with her, but that was about it. I was reluctant to join, mainly because I had no interest in reading anything but manga. However, seeing the potential in being in a club with four attractive and single girls, I, of course, happily accepted the offer. Things went fine, considering that I was a loner a year ago. I came out of my shell more and grew closer to some of the members. We even had a presentation planned for the school festival in order to advertise our club. I really felt like I was doing something useful, not to mention the fact that I was having so much fun.

During that time, things went even better as I found out that I was being offered an internship at the capital university. This was my one and only true shot at my dream of being a doctor. It was supposed to last for 1,5 months and it would end with special exams which would potentially give points towards the university application. I was so excited that I blurted it out at the club, and everyone seemed happy for me. Of course, no-one was as happy as Sayori, who looked giddy every time I talked about it. I guess she just liked the excitement in my voice when I talked about something that truly mattered to me. Thinking back, she was even more excited than my parents, who happily gave me money for the trip and the accommodation. I really was in heaven during these few weeks. Unfortunately…

Things got out of hand pretty quickly.

One night before the festival, 3 days before my planned departure, Sayori told me everything. She told me about her depression: how she’d had it for most of her life. She told me about her feelings for me: how she’d invited me to the club just to spend time with me. She told me a lot of things that I never knew or noticed about her.

After she laid everything out, I was shocked – I couldn’t believe it. She was always the bundle of sunshine in everyone’s life, including mine. She was the one to smile even during the darkest of days. She was the one who kept me sane when we had some really stressful periods. I guess the truth was that some of it had been a mask she put on for people in order to make their life better. She didn’t value herself enough to keep herself happy, so she tried to keep everyone else that way.

And the love part? I never thought that she would feel like that towards a guy like me. It just seemed unacceptable. Not because there was anything wrong with her. To the contrary. She was the perfect girl, whereas I was the loser. What did she even see in me?

The night ended with her hastily saying goodbye. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t get a word out. I couldn’t even call her, so I decided to text and ask if she’d like to spend the festival with me and speak after that. She agreed, but didn’t say much after that. I was worried, but ultimately decided she needed her time. If I started to poke and prod immediately, god knows how she’d react.

That night I didn’t sleep. Despite the fact that I had to prepare my poem recital for the festival, I just couldn’t keep Sayori out of my mind. Our conversation had been a cry for help, and I was going to be damned if I let that fall on deaf ears. This, however, meant serious sacrifices.

The final high school exams were only 4 months away. The time leading up to it was bound to be incredibly stressful, even for a straight-A student. These exams would have set the course for our entire lives, and if it concerned a lazy idiot like me or a „miss perfect“ like Monika, a girl like Sayori was in big trouble. She needed my help now. The problem was that I had an internship to go to. It was something that maybe would have given me the thing I had wanted all my life. Something that woke me from my terrible nightmare and brought me some purpose in life.

It was clear to me that most of my conscience went with „support Sayori“ option, yet there was this one small part of me that was angry and even furious that Sayori would ruin my chances like this. For selfishly putting her in front of my dreams.

The agony of deciding what to do weighed on me. I tried to convince myself to just let it go, but I felt disgusted for even considering that. The one friend that had always helped me feel good about myself when no-one else could was in danger of falling apart, and I think about ignoring her? Sure, it was my childhood dream on the line, but Sayori was my childhood friend. I couldn’t let her down like this.

And I wasn’t going to.

I was going to drop my internship and fully support her. To hell with anyone and anything, I thought. To hell with my dream. This was my chance to make things right.

I turned the anger I felt towards Sayori against myself, taking blame for the situation. I decided to work on a step-by-step plan on how to gain her trust and help her. Calling it a “plan” was a stretch, I admit, mostly resembling an incoherent group of arguments, but it was the best I could come up with. It was obvious that I alone couldn’t fix her, however, I was going to be the mediator between her and her problem, her friends, and her family. It was my duty to make her trust the doctors that I know she had had terrible experiences with in the past. It took me almost the entire night, but I got the bits and pieces together.

The festival passed in a haze of fatigue. She seemed like the normal Sayori during all of it. I couldn’t believe it, because I ultimately knew how she really felt, but for her sake I kept the act going. After our presentation, she somehow managed to sneak home. It took me a while to realize that, but I quickly followed her.

I presented her my thoughts. Everything I had worked out, I laid out to her. Obviously, it wasn’t really that thought out as it was materialized by my incredibly tired mind, but despite that, I took extra caution and put everything into it. Every emotion and every ounce of energy went to try and make her feel like she was truly been cared for. And although she was hesitant and unwilling for a time, I thought I broke through her. She started to trust me. I dearly hoped that it would be that easy, and I wouldn’t have the temptation to walk away from the plan, however, like with everything I do, I somehow managed to screw this thing up as well.

There was a massive elephant in the room.

„What about your internship?“ she asked, her eyes looking at me with naive confusion. She was almost smiling as she asked that. I was so close…

When I told her that I would ditch my internship for her, she totally freaked. She kept saying that she was worthless, how it was her who was holding me back and how I was better off letting her rot from a noose. Her words were so sincere that I started to panic, grasping at every straw I had. This meant that I mostly just said the same things over and over again with a different voice, because at this point I was fresh out of any new ideas.

I tried everything to try and console her. I assured her that I wouldn’t leave her and the decision I made was the thing I truly wanted, yet she had none of it. After some vicious arguing we took a break on my volition. We sat in silence for about five or ten minutes during which I forcefully kept my mouth shut as I’d basically already said everything I could. It was a torture of a different kind. I heavily banked on the fact that she would just accept my offer after thinking it through enough, but, to my demise, she used these precious moments to offer an ultimatum.

With teary eyes she declared that either I was going to leave for the internship or she’d forget all about my plan.

I knew that this could mean multiple things. One option was that she had just given up, making her last ditch effort to make someone happy. The moment it dawned on me, I felt nauseous. I damned everything I’ve ever said to hell. If I hadn’t been so glad about the internship, I wouldn’t have had to convince her so much. If I had just stayed quiet, I would have had a better chance. Not only that, if I had been a little more attentive to the one closest to me, I surely would have noticed the signs and could have helped her before. However, it was obvious that it was too little too late.

The second option meant that she would really go through with it. She would have to fight the first battles and make new allies totally alone which could mean resentment towards me in the long run. Of course, all of that resentment would be justified. Who leaves their best friend fend for themselves during what could be the most difficult point in their lives? But then again… None of that mattered anyway. It didn’t matter what happened to me as long as she was alive and well.

It was obvious what option I considered the most, but there was nothing I could do about it. If I stayed, she would be torn apart by quilt. That would lead to her hating herself even more. If I left, she would probably kill herself due to my betrayal. No matter what I did… The destination was crystal clear.

At that point my mind was so numb and my thought process was effectively disabled by the lack of sleep that I just stood there. The helplessness of the situation dawned on me with every passing second, and I felt panic seep in again. This time it was claustrophobic.

I pleaded her to take my offer. I told her that I didn’t care about the internship. I told her that there are other ways to flesh out my application. I told her that she was the most important thing in the world at that point. As she shook her head again and again I fell on my knees, clutching at her shirt, trying to make her listen to me. However much I tried to convince her, she didn’t take to it. Her mind was stubbornly made.

That was it. I broke.

I begged her to try. For my sake. I couldn’t bear to see her continue to go through this pain, and I couldn’t bear to lose her. I screamed that I didn’t want her to kill herself.

That got her attention.

I don’t know if she finally understood what my thought process was or if she finally believed my words, but her whole demeanor changed. After catching her breath, she sniffled a few times and looked at me. She took my hands off her shirt and smiled. Unsurprisingly, I was confused.

She said that she wasn’t going to do it. But how could I be certain? I immediately blurted it out of course, and to that… she giggled.

„I’m going to text you every single day! I’ll never leave you alone!“

She said that quietly. Her sad smile told me that she didn’t really believe it. She then wiped some tears off my face. I tried to tell her that I wanted to be there for her, but she shook her head yet again.

We sat on the floor for a while. This could’ve gone on for god knows how long when finally the silence was broken. I just asked if she was sure.

She thought about it for a while. I held my breath until she started to speak. She just answered that finally she sees how much she means to me. That it may be a short time before the rainclouds take it all away again, but this time she can remember. This time she knows for certain.

I wasn’t convinced, but decided to ask what’s going to happen next. She said that I should go pack my things, but that wasn’t going to happen. I told her that I wouldn’t leave until morning comes, and when it does, I would see to it that she calls her mom as soon as possible.

In hindsight, it was incredibly lucky that she decided to open up to me. Not only that, the unfathomable strength she showed was mind-blowing. One could argue that maybe things weren’t that bad for her, and she wouldn’t have taken such drastic measures, but there was no way I could have been certain of that. After all, I didn’t know anything about depression. I didn’t know what she felt, I didn’t know why she felt it, and I sure as hell didn’t understand how she could hide it so well.

We hadn’t really touched the „love“ part of the problem, but I think that’s one of the reasons she wanted me to leave. I didn’t think we were ready for something like that, especially after what had just happened. I think she knew it even before everything happened.

Overall, the fact that she decided and managed to go through with everything, even visiting a therapist, was relieving. Luckily, despite my absence, she didn’t have to do it all alone. She came clean with the group and got overwhelming support from her friends, especially from Monika.

During my internship, Sayori kept me posted almost daily, sending me random pictures and thoughts she had. She also sent me poems they made in the club and even made video calls from the therapist’s office where Monika and she would sometimes wait for hours. I was so proud of her, and I told her that every day.

After some time, our conversations fell short. Understandably, I got a little worried, so I pried some information out of her. It turns out that she was beginning to date a guy she met at the therapist’s office. She was really happy, and I was happy for her as well. It was incredibly heartwarming to see her get attached to someone like this. Some evenings she kept me on the phone for hours, asking for advice about all kinds of relationship stuff. I told her continuously that I didn’t know squat about that, as I had never really had one before, but I got the feeling she just liked my awkwardness when I tried to share bits and pieces from random articles or pop culture. It was really evident she just wanted to screw with me when she started to ask tips about kissing and more intimate stuff. I went along with it, because we had quite a few good laughs.

During that time my studying period had come to a close, and I needed to prepare for the exams. I had had a lot of fun with my coursemates until that time, and with Sayori doing so well, I was as near heaven as I possibly could be. I didn’t even care about the exams that much. Feeling that kind of success took the nervousness away and replaced it with optimistic determination. When the exams came, I finished them the best I could. I felt like I could be happy with the results whatever they would be, so ultimately, I was satisfied.

Despite all of that, Sayori was broken yet again.

Like all high school relationships, this one was bound to fail, although it wasn’t the obvious silly drama that got them. The guy decided that he couldn’t deal with Sayori’s condition and his at the same time so he cut it off. I understood that they hadn’t really been together for more than three weeks at that point, but I was still quite unreasonably angry at the guy. Sayori, however, kept saying that he had it much worse, and although she’s a little sad, she can’t blame him. Funnily enough, she asked me not to blame him as well. It was incredibly difficult to do, and, fortunately for him, there were quite many miles between me and this guy.

After that incident we stayed in contact almost every 2 hours until I could fly back to my hometown. At that time it was 2 days until my return, so there was only one sleepless night I had to suffer. It was all worth it, because she was there waiting for me when I arrived to the airport.

I turn a corner and set my sights on a much darker hallway. I can already see the toilets, so I quicken my pace whilst looking around in order to spot any shadows lurking about. To my relief, it seems like the school is pretty much empty.

When I step out of a stall, I stop near a slightly cracked mirror. The picture that unfolds is far from pretty, and although I would like to ignore it altogether, something makes me stay. It could be defiance – a need to face the facts and come to terms with the new reality, or it could be mere curiosity. Whatever the case may be, I decide to lean on the dust-covered yet still brightly white sink and look back at the monster staring me down.

I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the greatest looking guy before, but the outbreak has made me look even more like your garden variety homeless person. Although my hair isn’t exceptionally long, it’s very dirty and almost shines from all the gunk that has accumulated over time. The lone patches of hair on my face that one may brazenly call a beard adds to the visual. The whole sight begs for a razor and some scissors, but these are a scarce commodity during such times. Luckily for me, overgrown hair can be fixed. Other things, not so much.

The battle in the hospital as well as the interrogation has left me damaged beyond recognition. My torso is filled with various cuts and bruises that I only now see clearly. Most of it is covered with pristine white bandages, yet there’s a faint reddish spot near my shoulder. However, that doesn’t concern me as much as the devastation brought upon my face. The long winding gash hidden behind a bloody lump of cotton serves as a stark reminder of my sudden disadvantage. When I open my mouth, I spot a gaping hole where my canine tooth used to be.

The monster before me doesn’t smile. Its motionless face reflects many things, but mostly weariness. There’s a mixture of anger and hopelessness brewing inside of me, no doubt related to my wounds. I try to find some solace in the fact that I’m finally with my friends, but there’s still considerable amount of sorrow gnawing at me.

_Despite everything, it’s still you._

I walk out of the room, ready to traverse back to the principal’s office.

„G-Gah! _Michael_?!“

After recovering from the second shock I’ve experienced today, I notice Yuri exiting a classroom.

„Oh! Hey, Yuri!“ I answer, trying to ignore the increasing hotness congregating to my face.

“Michael?” she mumbles, no doubt trying to take in my incredible choice of attire. “Should you be up so soon?“

„I was just-…“

I desperately try to remember how to say „take a leak“ more politely, but I can’t seem to figure out what the room I just exited is called. Instead of giving her a normal answer, I just stammer and point my thumb behind me. She stares at me, but soon enough, realization creeps up on her face.

„Oh!” she exclaims, turning her head away in shame. “O-Oh my! Of course… I-I’m sorry!“

„No! N-No, it’s…“

_Why is she sorry? Why am I stumbling with my words? Why am I an idiot all of a sudden?_

She’s still not looking at me, and I can see the profound redness on her face. During all of this, I forgot how awkward Yuri can be and how infectious it is.

_Time for an icebreaker!_

„So, how’s it going?“

„Good? I-I guess…“

„Terrific.“

_Good thinking, moron…_

The train wreck that is this conversation quickly ends, and this prompts me to scramble for another topic.

„Where are you going with these?“

I point at the medical supplies she’s holding. Her eyes follow my finger until stopping on the equipment.

„Ah! I-I was actually coming to change your bandages. And, of course, look over the stitches.“

“Oh,” I mumble and scratch my head. “So, it was you…”

Her eyebrow flicks up.

“I was wondering who patched me up,” I quickly add.

Yuri nods, signaling both affirmation and comprehension.

“I do hope these aren’t uncomfortable. It was quite challenging to do it while you were unconscious.”

“Oh no, not at all!” I blurt out. “I’m really thankful!”

She smiles sadly, her gaze wandering towards my face. There’s no doubt about what she’s looking at.

“It’s no trouble, considering what we…”

She pauses and bites her lip. Familiar hotness strikes my face, but not due to embarrassment.

“Look, it’s fine,” I mumble and gesture towards the hallway. “We should head back. Wouldn’t want to make Sayori worry, now would we?”

Yuri closes her eyes and gulps, but nods shortly after.

As we walk in silence, I get to ponder what Yuri was going to say. It’s obvious that she feels guilty about how things that went down. While I would like to think that I don’t blame anyone for that, it’s hard not to feel bitter about the whole situation. Despite knowing that all of this was a huge misunderstanding on everyone’s part, I’m reluctant to forgive.

I try to push the sudden emotion back as we get closer to our destination. When we arrive at the door, I hastily open it for Yuri as her hands are completely engaged in holding the medical supplies. She makes sure to mumble a short “thank you” to me before entering. As soon as the door closes behind me, Sayori jumps awake.

„Hey, Yuri!” she giggles, groggily rubbing her eyes. “Hey, Mike!“

„Hi, Sayori.“

Sayori lets out a long yawn and points at the vacant couch.

„I was just keeping an eye on Mi-…“

She stops and stares at the couch. Then at me. Back at the couch. Back at me.

„Wait…“

I can’t help but laugh. It takes a few seconds, but Sayori finally realizes what’s going on.

„Where did you go, Mike?! I was worried!“

_Unbelievable…_

„Worried?! You just woke up!“

„Eheheh… But what if I woke up and you weren’t here?“

„I just went to the bathroom. Don’t get your panties in a bunch!“ I chuckle and walk towards the couch.

She turns red from her face and mutters something that has to do with me being a „meanie“, after which she climbs on the mahogany table like a panda bear, taking a very confident seat right in the middle of it. Yuri sits on a chair near the glass table, dropping all the medical supplies on the latter. She quietly organizes the different bottles and packages into a neat little grid. Although she notices Sayori push papers, folders, and other office supplies carelessly off the table and scoffs in reaction to it, her eyes don’t seem to reflect any hint of disapproval.

„Soo… How did you sleep, Mike?“ Sayori asks me and sends me a wide smile.

„It was weird,“ I shrug. „I mean, I’m not used to spending my days under a roof, you know?“

„Where do you usually sleep then?“ she asks me with a puzzled expression.

„A few weeks ago I learned to set my hammock so that I could sleep in the trees. It has proven to be pretty reliable.“

„A hammock?“ Yuri asks, momentarily stopping her preparations.

I tell the girls how I usually spend my nights. Because I tend to stick close to forested areas, there are lots of chances to find a suitable tree to climb. These few weeks have given me some experience in determining which branches are accessible and safe for such an endeavor.

„It’s better to do that and be safe, as opposed to sleeping on the ground and being easy food for the roamers,” I conclude.

„The roamers?“ Yuri inquires. „It’s quite peculiar how you call them. We just say „infected“.“

„It’s mostly because in the countryside the huge hordes don’t move that quickly,” I explain. “They kind of roam about.“

„I see.“

„Huge hordes?“ Sayori mumbles. „Have you seen many of them?“

„My fair share. They don’t have anything to do in the wide fields, so they just walk from place to place.”

„It’s lucky they didn’t catch you…“

„Luck?“ I scoff. „It’s all skill here, girls.“

„Okay, Captain America,” Sayori rolls her eyes, but keeps her smile.

„I… I think… Cruella de Vil is m-much more appropriate.“

Hearing Yuri utter such a good jibe at me and my incredibly feminine fur coat caught me with my pants down; in this case literally. I start to smirk, however, my reaction is nothing compared to Sayori’s, who starts to howl with laughter. Soon it becomes quite clear that there is nothing I can do to stop it, for she’s totally gone at this point. I look helplessly towards Yuri who seems quite pleased with herself. She even sends me a warm smile, which sends a clear message that she meant no harm. Our joint laughter gets interrupted by another girl entering the room.

„What’s going on in here?“ a stern nasally voice asks.

„Hey, Monika!” Sayori giggles and gestures at me. “Mike’s awake!“

„Hello, Monika,“ Yuri says and nods to Monika. „We’re about to change Michael’s bandages.“

„Oh? Is that so?“

„Hey, Mo-… Wait! “We”?“ I ask, trying not to panic.

I guess Monika only now notices my fur coat. This causes her to cross her arms with a wide smile.

„Sure, why not? I would love to see what you’re hiding there.“

“A-Are you serious?” I mumble, suddenly becoming aware how hot the principal’s office is. „Why can’t it be only one of you?“

“I figured it would take less time with Sayori helping me,” Yuri says and turns to the girl. “Of course, if she so wishes?”

Sayori, without a single moment of hesitation, eagerly nods and rushes down from the massive table, bringing even more folders down on the carpeted floor. I catch myself thinking that the whole scene would go well with an old-timey cartoon running sound, but my quick excursion is shattered when Sayori plops down next to me and grabs a couple of rubber gloves. Yuri stands up as well, taking a seat to the opposite side. They spray some disinfectant on their gloved hands and wait for me.

„Michael, y-you’re going to have to remove you coat at some point.“

„Just think of this as a normal doctor’s visit, Mike!“

Although there is nothing normal about this situation, I still nod.

“And you’re just going to stare at me?” I look at Monika.

She scoffs and crosses her arms. It looks like she wants to go on with teasing me, yet she manages to stop herself at the last second.

“Alright, you’re off the hook for now. I have to do a perimeter check anyway,” she says and straightens herself. “I’d like to talk to you later, Mike.”

Before I get to say anything, she walks out of the room. A quick glance around me establishes the fact that Yuri and Sayori are still waiting for me. I take a deep breath and slide the coat off. I’m not sure what I expected, but the girls start to go about their business immediately after.

„So, where are my clothes?“ I ask. “And what the hell is with this coat?!”

„Wait a moment,” Yuri utters and takes a bottle of disinfectant from the table. “This might sting.“

Sure enough, I feel a jolt of pain in my right side. She starts to clean a wound that I didn’t know I had.

„We thought it would be a good idea to wash them,” Sayori explains, but her voice tapers off. “You know, because we kind of dragged you around the city and all…“

„Also, your hoodie and shirt were almost completely torn apart,“ Yuri finishes the thought. “As for the coa-…”

“Wash them?!” I exclaim a little bit too loudly. For a second they both stop what they’re doing and look at me in surprise.

“Y-Yes?” Yuri quietly says, hunched over. “I-Is there a-anything wrong with t-that?”

“You emptied the pockets before, right?”

Yuri doesn’t seem to be able to respond to me.

“Mike, what’s wrong?” Sayori asks, but my attention is solely on Yuri.

“Tell me you emptied the pockets.”

She nods. Tension alleviates a bit, but I don’t rest easy yet. After asking whether she found a phone in one of the pockets, Yuri’s face lights up. She assures me that she found the phone and it’s safe, albeit not working. I exhale deeply, feeling my heartbeat return to regular rhythm.

“Mike?” Sayori begins again, but her voice is quieter than before. “What’s with the phone?”

I shake my head and finally smile at her.

“Nothing. It’s just that…,” I pause, whilst falling on the backrest of the couch. “It belonged to my sister for a short while. It’s the only thing I have left from her.”

Her mouth agape, she nods in realization, but ushers me to a sitting position again.

“I can find it for you later, Mike!” she assures me. “But we’re going to have to fix you first.”

Quickly pushing myself upwards, I mumble my apologies and let them continue. Just to keep the conversation going, I bring up another topic.

„You have that much water here? For washing, I mean.“

„Kind of,” Sayori says with a shrug. “There were a lot of supplies stacked in the basement floors when we came back here. These didn’t seem to belong to the school, but we also didn’t recognize the markings.“

Flickers from the day of the outbreak come back to me with a shudder. I think I’m pretty sure who these supplies belonged to.

„And among those you had water?“

„Y-Yes? Do you want some?“

„No. I’m just curious.“

„Sayori, we don’t actually use that water for washing. Occasionally we use some of the wells in the nearby residential areas.“

„Oh, right! I forgot,“ Sayori giggles. „I’m sorry. My mind is a bit occupied right now.“

For some reason she immediately turns red from her face. I open my mouth to ask why, but I’m stopped by Yuri.

„Sayori?“

„Yes?“

„I think we need to switch. The shoulder wound looks rather healthy, but it needs bandaging.“

„Alright!“

The girls switch and continue to do the same as before. Sayori quietly hums and Yuri elegantly unwraps the bandages. I wince a couple of times when she cleans some of my wounds, but other than that, it isn’t as bad as I thought.

My tune changes when Yuri reaches my eye. The whole experience has been quite lighthearted, but the moment she leans in to look at the damage, I feel a lump in my throat. Every bad emotion I suppressed before comes gushing down into my conscious thought. Yuri seems to have sensed something, for she pulls back and peers at me gingerly.

“D-Did I hurt you?”

“No! No,” I quickly shake my head and gesture her to continue.

Although I can’t really see what she’s doing, by the way she slowed down, I can tell that she’s quite careful with her movements. After a minute of unwrapping the bandage, she mumbles something.

„What is it?“ I ask.

„Oh! I-It’s nothing bad,” she tries to assure me, but her voice lies. “It’s just… I think we need to stitch this wound after all.“

„I’m sorry, Yuri,” Sayori gulps next to me. “You were right before…“

„It’s okay, Sayori. Could you please bring me the kit?“

Sayori sends me a worried look, but noticing Yuri’s stern gaze, she smiles widely and jumps up from the couch.

„Okay!“

She walks out the door and skips away from the office. After a while, I breathe in and decide to ask the question.

„How bad is it?“

Yuri grabs a flashlight from the table and shines it on the more painful part of my face.

„It’s hard to say, Michael.“

„Just tell me the truth, Yuri.“

But she’s unable to complete even a single word.

„ _Come on_! Whatever it is, just tell me! How does it look like?!“

I realize Yuri jerked a bit when I raised my voice. My anger at her dissipates and guilt starts to take over.

_God damn it._

„Jesus Christ,” I mumble and rub my forehead. “I’m so sorry.“

Yuri lowers the light and looks at me. She seems concerned, but not hurt.

„It’s okay. I know you’re stressed right now.“

„Still, it was wrong. Could you just be straight with me?“

„I’ll try,“ she gulps and raises the light again, subsequently clearing her throat. „The cut goes from your cheekbone to your forehead. The way it looks right now… M-Michael…“

My heartbeat ramps up. I begin to feel nauseous.

„Yuri?“

„Michael, your retina is… a-all torn apart. Can you see anything from it?”

I shake my head. She places the torch on her lap.

„I’m n-not sure it can be fixed. Maybe it could be operated on s-somehow, but considering the shortage of supplies and skilled medical professionals…“

I try to calm myself, thinking that I’m lucky to even be here, let alone with my friends, but this does little at the moment. A crucial part of my body is essentially rendered useless during a time I desperately need any edge I can get. Despair creeps up again as I lean into my palms.

„Michael? I’m so sorry.“

Silence weighs on both of us. I hear her fidgeting. This must be extremely uncomfortable for her.

“It’s our fault,” she finally says. “W-We should have done this differently. We shouldn’t have attacked you.”

I make sure to look away from Yuri. There’s a lot of emotion in my mind that has no conclusion, but her words carry a strong message. It’s not related to forgiveness, but rather pride. I’ve always hated people feeling sorry for me, and it looks like Yuri is doing just that.

“I never agreed with their methods… I should have spoken up! I should have said so-…”

_Enough._

“Stop,” I mumble, raising my head. “Just stop.”

Her pale face reflects guilt and fear. I try to smile with assurance, knowing I’m terrible at that, yet I still persist and find her purple eyes.

„It’s not your fault,” I quietly press out. “As a matter of fact, it’s no-one’s fault. You’ve helped me so much already. I’m lucky to even be here.“

I’m not sure if I believe those words, but it’s important Yuri does. There’s some tension in her body language, yet her eyes tell me that she’s convinced.

Suddenly, the door opens. I hastily wipe my only good eye. Luckily, Sayori didn’t notice that when she eagerly places the surgical kit on the table.

„What’s going on?“ she asks, having noticed our grim faces.

„Yuri’s going to stitch the wound up.”

Her puzzled look remains.

“Isn’t that a good thing? Why do you look like you’re about to die!?”

Yuri and I share a knowing glance. I breathe in, ready to explain, but Yuri is faster than me.

„We don’t have any local anesthetic here, and stitching in this part of the body is… well… incredibly painful.“

Sayori’s mouth falls open. It takes her a while to process these words. In the meantime, I lay down on the couch while Yuri prepares for the gauntlet ahead. As soon as she’s ready, she turns to me and sighs. I know Yuri isn’t the most confident person, but seeing anyone do that before such a procedure is rather worrysome. Yet we both know that it needs to be done. Leaving this kind of a wound open means infections galore, which in this day and age would mean certain death.

She opens her eyes. I smile and nod at her, however, it doesn’t have the effect I was hoping for. Instead of answering, she quickly takes a needle between tweezers.

And so it begins.

And so it ends.

After thirty excruciating minutes, I’m left sweating on the couch. My entire face feels like it has been ripped off. Not only am I hyperventilating from the pain, but I’m pretty sure I’m trembling as well. Sayori has long left the room: the poor girl yelped at every scream I made, so Yuri lost her patience and told her to “shut the fuck up”.

Speaking of Yuri – she holds a thousand yard stare, her blood covered gloves still raised up and her lip twitching. Her face is almost as pale as after the interrogation. As soon as I feel like I can talk, I try to offer some encouragement to her.

„Wow!” I softly laugh. “Didn’t know you were so good at butchering people!“

_Mike, what the hell?!_

Yuri’s frown gets worse tenfold.

„No! I was kidding! It’s a joke!“

She looks like she’s about to punch me, but I continue regardless.

„Yuri! Y-You were great! I love you!“

_What?!_

„I owe you! _Owe you!_ “

_Fuck!_

I feel like bursting into flames at this point. Words could not describe the embarrassment. Bumping into her looking like a beat up prostitute is nothing compared to this.

“Are you alright? Yuri?“ I ask her quietly, after a minute of total silence.

She jerks up and blinks a couple of times.

„Yes? Yes! I’m very much fine.“

„You sure about that?“

„Y-Yes… I’m just glad it’s over.“

„Same here…”

She breathes in and out for a few times.

„I should probably get you some painkillers now, right?“ she whispers.

Before I get to say anything, she stands up and throws the bloody gloves on the ground with the rest of the used bandages. She then almost runs out of the office. I mutter a faint „ow“ as I fall back on the couch, feeling incredibly exhausted.

I don’t get to be alone for long as Sayori rushes into the room, her face expressing a lot of mixed emotions.

„Mike! How are you?!“

She runs to me and kneels near the couch, trying to touch my face. I’m not sure what she was trying to do, but, luckily, I grab her wrists before she manages to do so.

„No, Sayori! No touchy!“

She giggles in response and grabs the end of the couch instead.

„I forgot!” she utters apologetically. “Yuri told me that I was supposed to cover it with a bandage now. Are you okay with that?“

„Sure,” I tell Sayori, who jumps up and snatches a roll from the coffee table.

While she deals with that, I decide to ask about Yuri.

“Are you guys good? She kind of blew up at you.”

Sayori scoffs and turns to me.

„Come on, Mike! We both know she didn’t mean it! She was probably just mad at you because you kept screaming like a baby!“

„You take that back, _this once_!“

Sayori giggles and motions me to get up. I send some of my best swear words at her, but she just shows her tongue in retaliation. Although I wince in pain quite a bit, she manages to finish it quickly. After doing so, she claps her hands together.

„Yay!“

„Wow!” I chuckle and feel the texture of the pristine bandage. “Thanks a lot. Again!“

„Don’t mention it!“

After a momentary rest, I catch her eyes and we look at each other for some time. She then kneels closer to me. I notice how happy she seems and it’s terribly infectious. My face still aches, but I don’t pay much attention to it. It’s kind of numb at this point and the bandage helps.

Her cheery demeanor gets crushed when I hear something awful from her stomach. It’s a long and quite winded growl which breaks the carefree atmosphere. She turns red almost immediately, and I look at her with increasing worry.

„Sayori! Was that you?“

Obviously it was. She places her fingers together and bites her lip.

„No?“

„That won’t work on me, Sayori,” I chuckle. “When’s the last time you ate?“

„Oh, Mike, come on! It’s nothing!“ she says while dodging my gaze. „I’m fine! I just forgot today!“

„Are you sure? That doesn’t sound like you.“

„I’m sure, Mike. I’m fine! See?“

She sends me one of her signature blinding smiles, but this reminds me too much of what I’ve seen before. A stranger would pay no mind, however, I’ve known her far too long to not notice. Not only that, she completely ignored my attempt at making fun of her. She never does that.

_I hate to do this, but she leaves me no choice._

„Sayori, if you’re fine then how come you’re not looking at me?“

There’s still a smile on her face, but it starts to fade rather quickly. My words had a bigger effect than I thought.

„Sayori, what’s going on?“

She looks at me hesitantly.

„What’s up?“

She shakes her head and tries to smile.

„Please tell me.“

Her face finally turns into a frown. Tears follow soon enough.

„Jesus Christ, Sayori…,” I mumble and take her hand as she wipes her face. „Come on. You can tell me. What’s going on?“

It takes her a moment to compose herself.

„Mike, w-we’re kind of out of supplies…“

„Food?“

She nods.

„When did you run out?“

„Two days ago,” she raises her voice as if trying to justify herself. „We tried to ration it the best we could, but there’s only so much you can do with two packs of ramen a day.“

„What about the stuff you had in the basement?“

„It’s long gone,” she laughs dryly. “We didn’t know how to keep it. Everyone took what they wanted, so it kind of went away in a month.“

„And the city is looted empty…“

I remember what they discussed when they were dragging me. She nods in confirmation.

„That’s why…,” she tries to explain, but her sentence is cut off by a gulp. Tears begin to stream down her cheeks.

„It’s oka-…“

„T-That’s why we followed you!” she shouts.

Her sudden outburst makes me jump. It was mostly because I was startled by the sudden nature of it, but, knowing Sayori, she interpreted it as something else.

„We followed you all the way! We saw you walk through the hallways!“

She takes a moment to sniffle. I try to raise my hand in comfort, but she just shakes her head.

„We thought you had some food. That’s why we wanted to g-grab y-you! That’s w-why we did those h-horrible things to y-you!“

„Sayori-…“

„No!“

„Say-…“

„NO!“

She presses her face into my chest. I suppress an urge to say „ow“.

„You must h-hate u-us! You must h-hate m-m-me!“ she barely blurts out and weak sobs soon follow.

It takes me a moment to comprehend what just happened. The conversation did such a 180 that I’m left speechless. When I finally realize the reason for her anguish, the tone in my head changes. It’s heartbreaking to see her so wrapped up in guilt, after I just told Yuri that I didn’t blame them for what had happened. Although I didn’t believe it then, I certainly do now.

I sigh and place my hand on her head, gently running it through her hair. The latter is quite unkempt and oily, but I couldn’t care less.

„Sayori, I could never hate you,“ I chuckle awkwardly.

It takes me a while to pick fitting words, but it’s a bit difficult when her sobbing muffles most of my thought process. It seems like my chuckle didn’t ease her concerns.

„All this time I’ve been running around the countryside alone, never having anyone else to talk to other than myself,” I begin, carefully evaluating what I say. “Months without uttering a single word to anyone, repeating the circle of walking and breaking into places and walking and breaking and walking…“

Fortunately, my rambling has the desired effect: she starts to calm down. I pat her head as I’ve lost track to where I was going with my monologue.

„Finding you all, even though the circumstances were undesirable, it was a miracle!“

Sayori peeks out and looks at me, her head still on my chest. I think I can see a faint smile.

„A miracle I have to cherish, because it gave me hope. Hope that I needed, badly.“

With that, I rest easy, because her smile grows bigger and her trembling stops. Soon she lifts her head with a quiet sniffle and pats my chest whilst giggling.

“Sorry if I hurt you,” she mumbles, her face turning a tone redder. “I… I-...”

“It’s okay,” I chuckle again, as she mouths some apologies. „Look, it’s going to be fine, alright? As soon as I get-…“

I freeze.

_I’m so stupid. It’s going to be very fine. It’s going to be almost amazing! At least for a while anyway._

She looks at me with confusion.

„Can you bring Monika here?“ I suddenly ask her.

She sniffles and wipes her face.

„Sure! But, Mike, what are you doing?“

„Something I should have done from the start.“

„I don’t understand…“

She looks scared. I take her hand and kiss it.

_I shouldn’t have done that._

I push the embarrassment back.

„You were right. All of you! You were correct to assume I had a camp nearby!“

She blushes and tilts her head.

„Oh? But…“

„The woods near the hospital! I left my bag there! It’s in a tree. It has almost 4 day’s worth of food!“

She starts to perk up. She realizes what my plan is.

„You see? You need get Monika. We need to get that bag. If only I could…“

I look around me.

_I have no clothes… Fuck it!_

I grab the fur coat.

„If only I could go and-…“

I almost manage to sit upright, but Sayori jumps up and forcefully pushes me on the couch again.

„OW! Ow! Ow! Ow!“

She yelps as I wince in pain. She hit my chest so suddenly that I fell on the couch without any warning, making me ache all over.

„Sorry! S-Sorry… B-But _you’re_ not going anywhere!“

She looms over me with determination.

„But, Sayori…“

„No! I’m going to get Monika, but you’re going to sit your butt down!“

„Come o-…“

„Shut it!“

I roll my eyes and throw the coat further away from me. She smiles and turns around.

„I’ll be right back!“

The office door closes. Despite her warning, I sit up on the couch, it being too moist for my taste after the whole stitching operation. I put my boots on and stand up. My body feels stiff, but I force it to move. I begin pacing around the office, trying to remember the exact place I threw my backpack.

I look at the window. The blinds serve no purpose anymore, so I pull them away. Sunlight enters the office.

The sunny spring day continues. The sky is clear, although some clouds can be seen in the distance. The suburban neighbourhood looks horribly empty as I see many yards overgrown with weeds and other plants. There is no soul outside minus a few roamers I see in the distance. They seem to be paying no mind to what’s going on here, so I don’t worry about that threat. The streets are empty with only a few cars littering it, having lost its use many months ago.

The girls were lucky to meet up like this. This school seems to be the perfect hiding place. Albeit quite big for a group of four, it’s still much better than the hospital or the police station, which I found out got overrun almost immediately. And although it’s quite big, it has sufficient room for more people as well as multiple places to fend off attackers from. Not to mention being a place they can hold on to mentally. This was our school after all. The place where we all met for the first time. The place where we got to know each other. Despite the situation, it still holds a grand place in my heart. I believe the same goes for the others.

I turn back to the couch and sit down. The sudden rush of adrenaline wears off and I feel slightly lightheaded, which is why I refuse to move until Monika arrives to the office.

„Hello, Mike. How are you feeling?“

She walks to the mahogany table and leans on it. Soon Sayori and Yuri follow. Sayori sits in the chair next to the coffee table and Yuri, staring at the pile of bandages and gloves, starts to pick those up with an elongated sigh. I feel bad for her, but then realize that Monika is waiting for my answer.

„As fine as I could be, really.“

„That’s good.“

We look at each other for a while. Weirdly, it seems like she’s sizing me up.

„Did Sayori tell you why I asked you here?“

Monika nods.

„She did.“

„I suppose we should go and get my bag then.“

Although Sayori opens her mouth to protest, Monika lifts her arm which promptly keeps her quiet. She still has the same authority over the girls that I remember.

„Gals, could we get a moment to speak privately?“

Yuri is already on her way out the door, carrying the remainders of my torture before, but Sayori doesn’t budge. I can’t blame her, because Monika’s request was unexpected to me as well. Her friendliness seems to have gone down the drain, proven by the way she’s staring at me. Although Sayori tries to get Monika’s attention, the latter doesn’t acknowledge anyone’s presence but mine. Sayori then sends me a puzzled look, to which I nod reassuringly.

When the door closes, I suddenly feel the same way as I felt during the night. Monika seems to be increasingly apprehensive about me. Our staring contest ends with me addressing the situation.

“You seem hesitant, Monika.”

She slowly walks to the same place I was just minutes ago and glances out the window.

“They are everything to me.”

Her voice is barely heard, yet that adds to the gravity of her words.

“I’ve let no harm befall them, and I will continue to protect them,” she says and turns around, looking me straight in the eye. “Whatever the cost may be.”

It’s quite apparent that she’s looking for any slip-ups that would prove my dishonesty, but, because I have nothing to hide, I calmly stare back and tilt my head.

“You care about them a lot. That’s respectable.”

She doesn’t answer. For a whole minute, she keeps on staring at me, as if trying to break my resolve. Luckily for me, there is nothing to break, however, as seconds pass, I keep thinking about their food situation. My mind wanders back to the conversation with Sayori, and I feel impatience grow inside of me. Despite this, I hold myself back. Monika is in the driving seat. For now.

“So,” she finally begins. “Your backpack. Near the hospital, you say?”

I nod.

“There’s a wooded area next to the main entrance. I threw it on a random branch low enough for me to reach.”

“I see. 4 day’s worth of food?”

“That’s right. Mostly canned, but it should do the trick.”

She chuckles softly. My impatience grows while another pause highjacks our conversation, Anger starts to raise its ugly head, flowing into every part of my body. While others in the group are starving, Monika is here, playing some pointless detective game.

“What’s so funny?” I ask, trying to hide my emotions.

“Nothing,” she simply answers.

_That’s it._

“Cut the bullshit, Monika,” I utter tediously. “Just ask whatever you want to know and be done with this charade.”

Her smile widens while she pushes herself off the table.

“Forgive me, Mike, but I’m just not buying your story.”

“My story?”

“The fact that you’ve been surviving alone this whole year.”

“Ah, I see. After that beating you gave me, you still don’t believe me.”

“Let’s be honest here,” Monika snaps back, whilst walking around the room. “You didn’t answer any of our questions.”

“Not like you gave me any choice!” I shout.

She stops and raises her eyebrow.

“You remember wrong,” her cold voice responds. “We gave you plenty of choices.”

I open my mouth to jab something at her, but force it shut. Monika’s eyes drill into me while I try to calm down.

“You think I’m leading you into a trap, right?”

Monika shrugs and places her hands on her hips.

“I don’t know. It sure seems like it. Here we are, desperately needing food, and in comes you, bag full of goods, waiting for us!”

I let out an exasperated sigh and roll my eyes.

“Well, what do you want to know?! How can I earn your trust?”

“For starters, you can tell me how you managed it,” she says, peering at me with a scowl.

I explain how I used to live in the countryside, staying in abandoned farmhouses and moving from place to place every two weeks. I describe how I picked the suitable houses and how I kept watch, sometimes for hours, in order to be sure that I don’t step into something dangerous. Despite my persuasive tale, it doesn’t quench her distrust.

“And you didn’t see anyone?” she scoffs. “Didn’t meet anyone?”

“Of course I saw other survivors, but I didn’t dare make contact with them.”

“Why not?” she asks while crossing her arms.

“Many of them had better stuff than me – weapons, gadgets, you name it!” I tell her and subsequently chuckle. “And can you really blame me? After what happened in here?”

Monika leans back on the table. I’m not sure if it’s my imagination, but I can see her ease up. Mentioning the school seemed to hit a nerve.

“You saw the bodies, right?”

Monika raises her head and nods.

“Then maybe you understand my suspicion.”

“What happened here?” she asks.

I gulp and look away, closing my eyes.

“I’d gladly not talk about it.”

We share a moment of silence. It’s occasionally broken by Monika tapping her foot on the floor.

“Okay, sure,” she suddenly mutters and strokes her chin. “But after all this time, why did you decide to come back here?”

“The reason is pretty simple: I was ready to move on,” I say and open my eyes, looking at her again. “It dawned on me that I wouldn’t find anything here, so I decided to leave for other cities. All I needed to do was grab some bandages, antibiotics, and other stuff for reserve and hit the road.”

“Where did you plan on going?” she asks.

I scoff and sigh.

“Honestly? I’m not sure,” I mumble wearily. “I guess wherever the road would take me.”

Monika nods again and falls into deep thought.

“Look, Monika, I don’t blame you for not trusting me. I would do the same in your situation. It’s how I stayed alive myself,” I say, leaning forwards on the couch. “But I can promise you, I would never put you guys in any danger.”

I try to catch her eyes, but she keeps looking at the carpet.

“For goodness’ sake, it’s Sayori we’re talking about! Sayori and Yuri and Nats-…”

_Oh fuck…_

I gulp and suddenly feel very hot. I lean into my palms. I just now realize that I’ve met everyone in the group but Natsuki. My face surely reflects the horror, because right after I raise my head again, Monika sends me a reassuring smile.

„She’s fine, Mike. She’s a little shaken up by everything, but she’s fine.“

Her change in demeanor is so sudden that, for a moment, I’m at a loss for words.

„A-Are you sure?“

I think back to the interrogation. Natsuki’s merciless beating doesn’t raise any emotion, but remembering her tremble at the sight of me leaves my blood run cold. I don’t want her to feel any guilt. There’s enough of that going around already.

„I think she just needs some time,” Monika nods. “I’m sure you’d agree. You knew her pretty well.“

„Where is she now?“

„It’s her time to watch the perimeter. She’s usually up on the roof,” she says and jerks her head upwards. “You’re not going to talk to her now, are you?“

„I guess not,” I chuckle, now encouraged by the alleviated tension. “I still don’t have my damn clothes! And if I took the coat, I’d never hear the end of it.“

„Don’t worry,” Monika says with a smile. “I think Yuri will be on that soon. She likes patching up clothes more than patching up people.“

„I can imagine.“

„But, Mike. When talk to Natsuki, you must remember that it wasn’t her fault.“

Even though her look isn’t as intense as before, there’s still considerable seriousness behind her gaze.

„Of course. I know that.“

A few hours ago I felt significant anger towards the situation Natsuki probably helped create. However, after all that I’ve been through and after all these conversations, I don’t think I’m mad at anyone anymore. It just feels pointless. A year of loneliness, uncertainty, desperation, and chaos has all led up to this moment. If I had to give up everything again in order to meet the people I care about the most, I think I would do it without hesitation.

„Alright,” Monika says, seemingly pleased with my answer. “Back then you were the only one that could fully breach her defenses. I think she needs you now more than ever.“

„I’ll handle it,” I promise her, but change my tone quickly after. “However, right now we need to figure out how we’re going to get the bag. Unless you have any other objections?“

To my dread, she stands up and starts to pace around the room again. With every step she becomes more nervous and seems more tired.

„I’m at a loss on what to do, Mike.“

„What do you mean?” I laugh and tilt my head. “It’s pretty obvious that this could give us a few day’s worth of sustenance. It’s what we need. It’s what _you_ need _right now_!“

„Alright! And after that? What happens then?“

I shrug.

„We’ll figure something out.“

She repeats that with a mocking tone. Although I feel mildly irritated, I manage to keep my emotions in check.

„Yes! After that, we think about it, and maybe-…“

„We can’t stay here anymore!“ she cuts me off. „It’s been almost a year and we’ve sucked most of the places dry. The residential houses, supermarkets, stores… Everything! We’ve gone so desperate that we even tried to loot the mall in the middle of the city, but we barely made out of there alive. The downtown area is such a mess of every hazard thinkable that…“

Monika pauses, her eyes stopping on the door. It looks like she has ran aground.

“Well, how about we leave then?” I suggest cautiously. “If there’s nothing here then moving on is the best bet, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Just like that, huh?” she replies with considerable doubt. “I’m not sure everyone would agree.”

“If that’s the case, then I think you should call a meeting.”

She chuckles and raises her eyebrow.

“A meeting?”

„Like back in the day. I know that we only shared poems and such, but before the festival we got together and planned stuff. You divided the responsibilities and all of us brainstormed for new ideas. We can do that now!” I explain and shrug. “I think this is a problem everyone needs to get a say in.”

To my surprise, Monika seems to agree with me.

„This might not be such a bad idea. And we are in this together…“

“That’s right.”

“You know what? I’ll consider it.”

“Good to hear,” I smile at her, subsequently slapping my knees and rubbing my hands together. “Now, what about the backpack? Do you trust me?”

Despite the fact that there’s a momentary pause, she finally nods.

“Thank god!” I exhale in relief. “When are we going to head out?”

Monika shakes her head and smirks.

“Michael, you’re not going anywhere.”

I raise my eyebrow.

“B-But you sa-…”

“I’ll ask Natsuki to come with me. You’re going to stay here,” she declares sternly, but her delivery is friendly. “Sayori would be pissed if I let you come with us.”

“Probably,” I utter and sigh in defeat. “There’s no convincing you, I assume?”

“Not a chance,” Monika answers and smirks.

With that, my second interrogation ends. Monika heads towards the door.

“Good luck, M!” I call out, before she manages to exit. “Stay safe!”

She pauses for a moment, but then turns around and smiles.

“Oh, I will! It’s good to have you back, Michael.”

I nod and chuckle.

“It’s good to be back.”

* * *

It didn’t take long for Yuri to present me with her repairs to my clothes. During my travels, I have rocked a flannel shirt combined with a hoodie and a tactical vest, each and every one of them sliced open by multiple stabs, swipes, or general tearing that occurred during the fight. My jeans were also pretty done for, yet she managed to stitch everything back together. I noticed that my clothes were a bit moist – a byproduct of her washing them – however, I’ve felt worse during my travels, not to mention the fact that I was pretty eager to finally wear something other than that god damn coat.

The clothes looked good and even smelled good. I thought that she had just dumped them in the water and swirled them around for a bit, but she clearly took her job seriously. The small problem was that instead of reeking of sweat, I smelled like a lavender bath bomb – a fact that Sayori gladly brought up. She got some good laughs at my expense yet again. As for Yuri, I thanked her profusely and, of course, made her blush by doing that. I had to do it for I was so impressed by her handiwork, but I also wanted to pay back for the times she teased me before.

Asking about Natsuki yielded mixed results. Yuri expressed concern for her and said that it was irresponsible of Monika to usher her to the „backpack mission“. Sayori assured us both that she was going to be fine, but there was a hint of doubt in her voice as well. Surely, it’s not easy to stay back while two other members of your group leave for a potentially dangerous mission, so I understood their concern very well.

Yuri and Sayori decided to show me around the school. I remember the overall layout quite well, but I had no clue which rooms they’ve decided to use for sleeping, eating, or general meetings. It presented me with something to do as well as an opportunity to get more adjusted to their day-to-day activities. The latter was absolutely necessary if I was to become a part of their survival group. Not that there was any doubt about that. Sayori would kill me if I left.

We start with the teachers' room. It has a huge table in the center with about six or seven chairs. The wall is wiped clear of any pictures, the latter replaced by a huge map of the city. The map is detailed and marked with little X-s and O-s. These probably indicate places they’ve looted or are planning on looting in the future. I can’t get a better look as Sayori pushes me towards the next room.

This one is much bigger than the teachers’ room. Judging by the layout, I would assume it was a classroom, however, it’s much more pristine than all the other ones. Yuri explains that this was one of the rooms school employees used to conduct various education-related trainings. There’s no doubt about the legitimacy of that assumption, as I notice how incredibly unravaged it is. All the chairs have been moved to the edges of the room while most of it has been covered by couches, carpets, pillows, and all sorts of soft and fluffy stuff. I even notice a couple of bean bag chairs nearby. It’s quite obvious it’s the lounge room used for leisure, but I can’t help but wonder what entertainment they have here, and how they are not bored out of their mind. I can see a bookshelf filled with all sorts of flashy and not so flashy books – all of which probably suit Yuri’s needs, but what do Sayori, Natsuki, and Monika do? What would I do here? If I don’t have any manga, video games, or anime then I’m a pretty dull boy.

Then again, I ponder, as we move towards yet another classroom, I haven’t had that kind of luxury ever since the outbreak, and somehow my charming nature has been kept intact.

As soon as I step in, Sayori pushes past me and starts to mutter something while frantically rushing to a corner of the room. Yuri looks at her with disapproval, and I know the reason for that almost immediately. This seems to be their bedroom, and it is ridiculously messy.

There are four mattresses in each corner of the room, next to which are makeshift nightstands made from excess wood. Different girl has their own unique design and choice of decorations on their furniture. For example, Sayori’s corner has everything which is either cherry red or sky blue: posters, stickers, drawings, poems – you name it. Some of the posters are from so many different bands or anime or…

I spot a health declaration about washing hands. One may guess what color scheme is used. I’m barely able to contain my urge to laugh.

Everything in Sayori’s corner is jumbled about with no apparent structure to it. I don’t think I even have to mention the bed which is still unmade. It’s classic Sayori through and through, I think to myself, as I remember the days she invited me over just so I would clean her room or complete any other menial tasks for her. As I look around, I notice her, almost as red as her bow, scrambling to gather her clothes and… oh my good god… undergarments… from everywhere around her mattress.

It’s time to check Yuri’s corner. This one is as structured as a corner like this could be – a microcosm of the girl’s personality and mature nature. Her color code is strictly violet and black. She doesn’t have any posters, although I can see some embroidery on her wall. This is probably what she started to do after she didn’t find any interesting books to read. Or maybe this is a newly found hobby, because not only are there still books lying around the windowsill, but I can spot bookmarks between some of them. And a few of them seem quite new, meaning that Natsuki and Monika probably found some interesting literature lying around during their travels and decided to surprise her.

She sits on her bed and looks at a drawing. I can’t really see much of it, but it looks like a portrait of her. Clearly it has some sentimental value to her, so I try to not stare at her for long in order to leave her alone with her thoughts.

Natsuki’s corner is pink. Pink, fluffy, and everything so nauseatingly cute that I’d like to shield my eyes, however, once I focus on said cute stuff I feel slight unease. Every stuffed animal she has on her shelves has their eyes gouged out or some other dysfunction committed to them. Some are torn apart and fixed with hasty sewing, making me wonder if Natsuki herself did that. There are some posters on the wall, although the one huge _Parfait Girls_ poster takes up most of the room and attention.

I turn away from the poster, taking a look at Monika’s corner. The latter mostly resembles Yuri’s corner, although Monika’s color scheme is more green and brown. She doesn’t have many posters. Instead, she has quite a sizable collection of poems and other sorts of literature plastered all over the wall. Some are written, some are torn out of books; the latter have many markings on them. Obviously, her view on literature clashed with the author’s works, and knowing her, she needed to correct any mistakes immediately.

After that detour, we move past the women’s lavatory back towards the stairs leading on the second floor. I still see all the windows barred shut by planks of wood. When I inquire about that, Sayori answers.

„It was Monika’s idea! After being here for like a week, she decided to fortify every door and window. It was quite hard work, but we managed to cover everything! Well… Everything minus a few classroom windows. We kind of ran out of scraps for those.“

„The frequent perimeter controls are also her doing. She started those a day after we arrived here,“ Yuri adds.

„Frequent? But who’s doing them now?“ I ask with a smirk.

The girls look at each other. It’s clear that they forgot all about it. Their faces mirror slight fear and embarrassment.

„Eehehehe… I think it’s my turn?“ Sayori mumbles and presses her fingers together.

„I think so, yes.“

„B-But Yuuurii…“

Sayori starts to inch closer to Yuri while making her signature puppy-dog eyes at her. I almost feel the need to turn away, as I remember their effect quite well.

Sayori does this when she really wants something to happen, for example when she first invited me to the literature club. She uses it sparingly, but often enough to be considered her most common manipulation tactic, which usually results in a resounding success. The most obvious win was me joining the club. If I had known better, I could have resisted her tactics, however, I don’t want to know how my life would have turned out without the club. I guess this time I owe her for manipulating me.

„…I would _really_ like to show Mike around!“

„S-Sayori! Stop that at once!“ Yuri answers while dodging Sayori’s gaze. „I’ve covered three of your shifts this week!“

„Come on, Yuri!“

She keeps at it, but Yuri isn’t a weakling like me. She knows how to avoid those sparkling blue eyes. She takes a breath and puffs her chest forwards.

„Sayori, I’m not going to relent. This is your responsibility, and I expect you to fulfill it!“

I’d really like this to go on, however, Sayori realizes her defeat and starts to pout. This doesn’t make Yuri give in and I just shrug at the girl.

„Yuri’s right, Sayori. You gotta do what’cha gotta do!“

Sayori immediately cringes at my attempt of making an impression and looks at Yuri who still stands tall and strong. My failure at comedy breaks Sayori’s pouting expression.

„Okay! Sorry, Yuri!“

„It’s okay, Sayori. We’ll be done soon, and I’d like to show Mike the common vantage points anyway.“

„Yeah,“ I continue. „Maybe I’ll even join your mission later on.“

Sayori perks up and giggles.

„That would be awesome! Have fun, you two!“

We wave at the girl as she skips towards the yet unexplored part of the third floor. Yuri guides me down the stairs to the second floor.

I look around the hallway and nod to myself. I’m not really sure why. It’s like a confirmation that the girls have managed to do fine around here. There are spikes and noise traps composed of tin cans tied from the ceiling. There are lockers dragged to the middle of the hallway, probably to make the process of walking through it as difficult and noticeable as possible.

„Wow. She really knows her stuff…“

„You’re correct about that,“ Yuri says with approval. “You should see what she made a few weeks ago.”

“What’s that?”

Yuri waves me to the first floor. The layout is pretty similar to the previous, but at the end of the hallway, I see a bigger and more elaborate barricade that blocks the main exit. It looks as if they had taken some inspiration from modern riot police techniques. Despite it being impressive, it wasn’t the thing Yuri wanted me to see. She points at the three bows leaning on the wall near the first set of sandbags. Not only are there bows made of wood, but also dozens and dozens of handcrafted arrows in makeshift quivers.

I whistle.

“Holy shit! That’s amazing!” I shout and rush over to examine one.

Yuri looks happy as I’m marveling Monika’s handiwork.

“She did it all by herself?!”

She nods and smiles, saying that it took Monika months to shape them exactly right.

“Do you use them for looting missions as well?” I ask, but Yuri shakes her head.

„We are mostly out of wood, so we can’t really make new arrows. Right now, perimeter defense is the main priority for us.“

She looks away and blushes. Surely a „main priority“, although they instantly forgot about that.

„I mean… T-They can usually handle themselves with our current weaponry.“

„What do they use?“

„Monika really adores her baseball bat. It has been with her ever since we arrived back here and she’s been holding on to it for a while. Natsuki had a fire axe a few weeks ago, but it got caught in an infected person during our downtown raid. Sayori…“

Yuri pauses and raises here eyebrows.

„It’s been a while since she’s ever fought anything. Usually, she just stays behind.“

„Seems logical. She’s never been the confrontational type.“

„Well… I agree with you, but it really angers Natsuki, and Monika disapproves of it as well. They think that each and every one of us need to be ready for any combat situations.“

„I’ve understood that her role has more to do with supporting you guys and giving you medical assistance, so she’s still a valuable member.“

„I-I didn’t say she was u-useless!“ Yuri instantly bursts out. „And neither does Monika and Natsuki! It’s j-just…“

She blunders with her words a bit. I patiently wait while she regroups.

„Sayori… is Sayori. One could definitely say that she’s the glue that keeps us together.“

Yuri’s comment is spot on. Sayori’s been handling the inner squabbles of the club ever since I joined it. Probably even before, although I don’t have any information about that time.

„Yeah. She has that effect on people.“

Yuri nods and looks at me, as if waiting for more questions. Luckily for her, I got one ready.

„What do you like to use? How much have you gone on raids?“

Yuri looks away and blushes. An obvious follow-up question, but it seems like she didn’t expect that.

„Ugh… I-I don’t really go on raids.“

„But you did go to the hospital…“

„Uuuh… That was only because the hospital is such a massive facility. Natsuki and Monika wanted as much backup as they could.“

„Oh? Don’t you like raids?“

„I-I think I’m not that… well accustomed to such endeavors. I’m quite tall and awkward so…“

Her voice fades and I sense danger. I hastily ruffle my hair and think of something to say.

„B-But you also have a support role? Right? You and Sayori really did a number on me!“

„Uhuhuh!“

Her weird laugh still gives me joy.

„Thank you, Michael, but I’m quite aware of my shortcomings, and it doesn’t bother me anymore.“

That sentence was presented with such confidence that I’m taken aback. It’s so unlike Yuri to say this – her having been so unbelievably shy during the early days of high school. It got better during senior year, but the difference between senior year and current day Yuri is pretty noticeable.

„It’s a nice view on life. God knows I could use it, but we both know I’m already perfect.“

Yuri laughs and I join in. We both know that’s a total lie.

Our next destination is downstairs. A familiar feeling burrows under my skin. I feel my stomach already growl as we enter the hallway which leads to the cafeteria. However, to my surprise, the entire cafeteria is caved in and doors leading to it are shut. I feel a light wave of sadness, but it passes pretty quickly. Of course, I didn’t expect to eat here, but I’ve had many good memories. Most of our fun meetups with Sayori were in the cafeteria. This was mostly because the only time we could meet up was during the lunch. Also, it was Sayori’s favourite place to be, because it had food, and me willing to buy her most of it.

We turn back from the cafeteria and see the stairs again, however, we walk past them through another hallway. This one is shorter and leads to the…

_Shit._

The hallway is plastered with dried blood. Someone has tried to get them out but to no avail, leaving the remainders of the horrors for me to see. I can see bullet holes in dozens all over the wall with even more blood. The sight gets worse as we walk closer to the end of the hallway.

I remind myself to breathe.

With every step my legs go number. I look at Yuri to see if she’s noticed the sudden change in my demeanor, but she simply walks onwards, seemingly paying no mind to all the crap on the walls. I close my eyes and push through, not wanting to attract her attention.

As we arrive to the end of this hallway, we stop. Another hallway cuts through this one, leaving us a choice to go either way. I close my eyes again.

I turn right as fast as possible, following hastily in Yuri’s footsteps, however, something stops me dead in my tracks. Despite the fact that she has walked a good few feet in front of me already, I hear something behind.

_Please… No…_

I hear the whispers again. They’re stronger now than they’ve ever been. I can’t hear Yuri’s footsteps anymore.

_Did you think you’d get rid of me that easily?_

I gulp and try to move, but I’m effectively frozen in place.

_Go away…_

_Aww, Mikey! Did you… forget already?_

_Please… Get out… Leave me alone!_

_Did you push it back so hard you actually forgot?_

_I can’t do this. I need to fight it. I need to focus!_

_You think that these whores made me leave?_

_I need help. I need to call out to Yuri!_

_She can’t help you with this, Mikey. I mean… How could they?_

_Yuri, help me!_

I begin to lose any feeling in my legs and I stumble a bit, supporting my body on the wall.

_I want you to remember._

„I don’t want to…“

_You have to, Mikey._

„Why?! Why won’t you leave me alone?“

_Because I want you to suffer._

By now Yuri has noticed my absence and looks around in confusion. I try to catch her gaze.

_Look behind you, Mikey._

She still hasn’t noticed me.

_Look!_

„Please… I don’t want to!“

_You have to see for yourself._

My head begins to turn towards the gym doors. The more I get a glimpse of the bullet-ridden doors the more my vision warps. I can’t get any control over my body.

_Remember now, Mikey?_

I look in horror as I hear screaming. Students coming from every direction. They yell… They beg… They call out to their mothers… Their fathers…

„NO!“

Panic… Chaos… The disgusting gurgling…

_I can’t go back there…_

_Do…_

_…you…_

_…fucking…_

_…remember…_

_…me?_

„Plea-…!“

I gasp for air. I can hear someone running, but they’re too late.

My vision goes black.


	4. Outbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During his panic attack, Michael recalls the day of the outbreak.

_„Heat of the moment!“_

I groan and lazily open my eyes.

_„Heat of the moment!_ “

_It’s so loud… And so terrible…_

_„Heat of the moment… Showed in your eyes!“_

_How can a band suck so badly?_

An impressive drum solo begins, contrasting the otherwise boring song. I don’t get to enjoy it for long, because just then the music fades out, morphing with a familiar jingle.

_It’s not going to get any better…_

_„Aaaaand good morning, you lovely people! Thank You, Asia, for introducing us to this wonderful world! It’s Monday, and it looks like to be a brave… new… day… ahead! The temperature is 69 degrees outs-…“_

Enthusiastic blabber of the self-proclaimed funny man stops as soon as my hand reaches the big button on the radio. Not feeling the need to rub the sleepiness from my eyes just yet, I focus on the noises coming from outside. The grainy radio voice has been replaced by the jolly chirping of nature’s best artists.

A yawn brings me up on my feet. I leave my bed unmade and immediately glance at myself from the closet mirror. Seeing myself so utterly unpresentable makes me yawn again. Before leaving my room, I glance at the clock radio. The display says 6:32.

I do my morning hygiene routine, making sure to brush my teeth the optimal amount of time and wash my face with utmost care. It’s important for me to be in tip-top shape today. The reason, of course, is the fact that today marks the beginning of the end: today I must complete my high school exams. It’s silly to think about them in such a hyperbolic way, but these exams do determine my future. They determine whether I get to enroll in a university of my choice. Whether I get to be a doctor in the future.

A familiar feeling of nervousness sets in. There are a lot of things that I don’t know and don’t understand, yet I’m still expected to write the exams today. All the mechanisms inside a eukaryotic cell, all the geometric equations in maths, all the poets’ and writers’ names – the information swirls in my head, raising up a tsunami of doubt. I push back an annoying urge to grab whichever book to check these facts from and look in the mirror instead.

A completely normal high school boy. Some might even say… a man.

_All right, dude. Let’s not get carried away here…_

I chuckle and smile at the person in the mirror. All these hours of studying has led me here. 12 years of school ends with today. It has certainly been a long journey to endure.

I still smile, but there is something else behind it. All the trouble I went through, all the things I had to do to make the people around me a little bit happier. Things I had to do to make myself happier, things that happened, their ramifications which impacted me and others. I’m hesitant to call this wisdom, but these memories do make me feel older than I probably should feel.

The conflict soon fades, and I nod in approval – I’ve come far. Despite the hardships, I’m still here and ready to go at it. I’m ready to be the guy who’s going to save the world. I see a bright future ahead of me.

„You’re the man!“ I simply say to my doppelganger.

I walk back to my room, putting on a fresh uniform and grabbing some extra pens and pencils with me. As I walk out, I catch myself thinking about my breakfast already.

I’ve managed to draw the exam day jackpot, which means that I’m able to finish everything today. Because of that, I get to leave school at approximately six o’clock in the evening, which means that it’s going to be a packed day, and I’m going to need as much sustenance as I can get. True, there is a lunch break coming, but that’s not until two o’clock. Maths is the first exam, and that’s a boss fight I need to be ready for.

I begin cooking myself some eggs and bacon, occasionally checking my phone to see if I’m on schedule. Surely enough, I’m totally fine, because the exams start at 8:30 and it’s not even 7:15 yet. Despite my early wakeup, I still get messages from my friends. The group chat lights up.

_„Miiiiiiike!!!!!11! Its the big day! Good luuck ! xD“_

That’s Sayori. I can’t believe she got up this early. Usually she would be asleep for many hours to come. I immediately smile.

_„Good luck on your exams, Michael!“_

Yuri’s message is more restrained and measured, but it undoubtedly widens my smile even more.

_„break a leg dummy“_

I begin to laugh. Natsuki has never been a girl of many words, unless, of course, we’re talking about manga…

_„Make us proud!“_

I choke on my laughter and look at the words in disbelief. I want to recall a time I heard or read these before, but after a while an eerie sensation finds me.

_Not a single friend has told me that._

The warmness of the words is mixed with sorrow, mostly because now that I think about it, I haven’t heard these from anyone, including my parents. And what’s worse, I can’t see their message anywhere. Although they’re overseas, it’s not that late in the evening for them. I don’t even know if they remember that I have exams today.

Shaking off the gloom, I send my friends a warm „thank you“, yet this doesn’t conclude my awe. I stare at the screen and read Monika’s text over and over again. I’m so baffled that I’m brought back to the present day when I smell something. I quickly stop reading and throw my phone on the kitchen counter.

_I’m burning my eggs!_

After rescuing my first batch of protein-filled goodness, I start to read the messages again. They’re talking about how lucky I am to finish all the exams in one day. Monika has to visit school twice, Natsuki and Yuri even three times this week, Sayori gets to do everything tomorrow. No-one knows why the scheduling is this way, but for some students the exam period gets quite stretched out. Some may need it, but most just want to be done with it. And it’s not like students get to choose their days.

I only read the messages, not even thinking about entering the conversation. By now Natsuki has joined in as well, so I expect them to be busy with her. All of this leaves me with ample time to dig into my delicious breakfast. I decide to turn the radio on.

_„-…reports of increasing activity in downtown area. It seems like traffic has stopped for a good while. We’re not certain if there’s been an accident, but as soon as we get some new information we’ll keep you posted!_

_Now let us take a peek at today’s news! The health minister declares an official warning as a new viral infection has been spotted in our southern neighbours’ back yard. The effects are not quite known, but there seem to be some similarities with the last yea-…“_

I turn the radio off.

_If you’re not gonna play music, what good are you?_

I pick up my phone and see that the group chat has died down. I put the last piece of bacon in my mouth and chew violently. When I check the clock, I feel the same nervousness again. Suddenly, the bacon isn’t juicy anymore. It almost tastes like carpet.

_7:45. I ought to move soon._

I take the dishes to the sink and drink some water to wash the breakfast down. I pocket my phone and do a quick examination of the kitchen in order to check if I turned everything off. Surely enough, everything is right where it should be, so I hurriedly put on my shoes and prepare to leave. A quick glance over the living room and kitchen does little to quench my nervousness.

_When I come back, I’m already accepted in the university._

This thought is both exceedingly arrogant and encouraging at the same time.

My walk to school is peaceful. Warmness of the sun coupled with a slight breeze almost makes me forget about the troubling challenge ahead. The streets are empty minus a few other students that have the curse of a day full of exams.

When I arrive to my school, I notice some new vehicles parked outside the gate. Darkened Impalas, Escalades, and a few other models I’m not familiar with ominously stand out from the usual rabble of beaten up Fords and some pickups. These new additions probably belong to some especially wealthy students, which there are quite many in this school. There’s also a few ambulances inside the courtyard. I find myself thinking that their presence doesn’t really help with my nervousness. If the school is that worried about a potential health related incident, how are we supposed to keep our heads leveled?

Entering the school is easy, but due to the mass of students already in the coatroom, it takes me a while to arrive to the first exam room. While walking there, I notice many students frantically trying to read books or recite phrases from them to others. Some have decided to ditch the last minute cramming and just chat with their friends, overcompensating their anxiousness with increasingly louder chatter. The latter seem to be my type of people, however, I don’t try to enter into any conversations due to the simple fact that I don’t know anyone here. This isn’t the time to make any new friends and, to be honest, I already have the best friend group imaginable.

Although being on time is crucial, I avoid checking my phone clock. The other students don’t seem to be in any rush, so I imagine I have ample time to find the first exam room.

We get assigned to our seats in the big auditorium. The process takes a while due to the sheer amount of students waiting for their destined spot. During this time, I get to examine the others for a while.

There’s a lot of emotion in the room. Some look around anxiously, some stare in front of them, playing with their pens, some chat with their mates or even students they’ve just met today. Everyone has their own coping mechanisms in stressful situations. I, for one, prefer being quiet and emptying my head of any thoughts or just let them wander by themselves. It may look like I’m having a stroke, but in reality, I’m just lazily staring into nothingness.

After some time, I hear the room door close. It does startle me a bit, yet I manage to regain my focus. Right now, the only thing separating us and the exam is our principal, who has yet to make his famously boring speech. I watch him step in front of us in his pristine brown suit. His mannerisms are concrete and confident, but despite his strict nature, he sends us his rare smile which could brighten even the dullest day.

I decide not to tune into his speech. It’s mostly allegories mentioning different battles in history, like soldiers coming up on top despite their dreadful situations. I’ve never really been much of a war enthusiast, so this doesn’t motivate me at all. My motivation lies in the future, but also in the present. I know that my friends are there for me right now – obviously not in person, but definitely in spirit, as proven by the incredibly heartwarming messages I received. This has kept me sane during all these nights of studying, and it will continue to keep me sane during this final moment.

Principal McHowall ends his speech which is met with a thunderous applause. Luckily, some students had enough mental fortitude to keep up with his ramblings so as to not leave him hanging. Although I didn’t listen to him, I clap loudly anyway – I see this as my final thanks to all the effort this school has put into me.

He proudly walks off and motions the teachers to start handing out the exam papers, however, this is interrupted by the auditorium door opening. Students’ sights aren’t set on the exam papers anymore, but on the opened door. What I see is so absurd that I have to squint my eyes in order to do a double take. It seems like other students have the same conundrum.

Some men with lab coats and face masks enter the auditorium, almost marching to the front of the room. They immediately find McHowall and whisper something to him. The hall fills with quiet murmurs as our principal discusses that mentioned something with the men. It’s clear that there is an incident brewing, because McHowall’s voice gradually becomes more louder. Our principal seems to be forced to obey whatever commands the masked men bark after a document comes out. The masked men nod towards the door and a few others walk inside the auditorium.

The general whispering stops when one of the men starts to speak. His voice is filled with authority, but it’s quite muffled by his face mask, probably diminishing the desired effect.

„Hello, students. I’m sure you already know that many cities have had outbreaks of the new virus. We’ve had serious cases reported to us as of yesterday’s evening, so we’ve decided to take extraordinary measures to stop it from spreading further. This means that, unfortunately, we have to examine each and every one of you before you-…“

The man’s speech is cut short due to the mass ruckus happening in the room. Most students, quite justifiably, think that this kind of delay is nothing short of absolute bullshit. I’m inclined to agree with that sentiment, as I have no intention of staying here past six o’clock. I’m not sure my nerves would handle a delay like this, and I need myself calm if I want to maintain any hopes of doing well today.

The noise is getting pretty loud when our principal decides to wave his hands and yell something. This gets no results. Unfortunately for the complaining students, McHowall isn’t the type of guy to take crap from anyone, so he hoists himself up on one of the teacher’s desk and yells…

„SILENCE!“

Students in the auditorium slowly stop their angry remarks and look at our principal, whose face is now redder than a beetroot. McHowall waits until the room is totally quiet, and then gestures the men to speak again.

„As I said before,” the previous man begins and runs his hand through his hair. “We need to examine all of you. In order to make this go as quickly as possible, we have already set up a station in your gym, and we will continue to outfit several classrooms with similar facilities.“

This guy seems to feel our concern at least somewhat, but the man next to him doesn’t seem to give a shit.

„What you need to do now is move orderly towards the gym and wait there for further instructions. You are not allowed to exit school grounds before you’re checked! Failure to adhere by that rule will mean serious consequences, one of which can be a potential prison sentence. This is for your own safety!“

Complaints are still heard, but most of the students either realize the gravity of the situation, or the fact that it’s easier to just comply rather than drag this out further than it needs to.

We get moved out of the auditorium in pairs. This takes a while, so I decide to check my phone and send a message to the group chat. I don’t notice who I get paired up with, and I don’t really care. I tap away at my phone, looking over the message I wrote as we finally exit the auditorium.

„ _Something is going on in the school right now. A disease control unit needs to check us all before we get to do our exams. There’s gonna be a delay…”_

I tap „Send“ and pocket my phone. By now we’ve arrived to the basement already. The column of students stops in the hallway, meaning that the first ones have reached the gym doors. I try to look towards the end of the hallway, but the masked guys keep the columns in check, occasionally shouting at a few disobedient students.

„Oh, bother! I can’t believe this is happening.“

The student on my left seems to have a few things to say.

„Seriously, what virus is so bad that they have to halt our exams?“

He’s quite lanky and towers almost a foot above me. He then looks at me as if just noticing my presence.

„Oh! Hey!” he says, extending his hand. “I’m Donovan!“

We shake.

„Mike.“

„Pleasure to make your acquaintance,“ he declares with his deep voice.

„Likewise,“ I say with a nod.

„What do _you_ think about all of this?“

„You rounded it up pretty well to be honest,” I chuckle dryly. “I can’t imagine that the delay will be good on my nerves.“

„Yeah, that too,“ Donovan agrees and adjusts his horn-rimmed glasses, while gazing around himself. „It does seem like our placement is quite good. We’re pretty close to the gym already.“

„Does it really matter? They won’t let us start writing without others anyway.“

Donovan’s smile fades.

„I guess you’re right.“

There’s silence between us, but not in the hallway as a whole. Some students chat carelessly while others ask the masked men for a chance to get their books so that they can make use of their newfound time. Any such requests get denied immediately, and some students even voice their need for a toilet break. Hearing that, the masked men just roll their eyes and walk away, leaving many disgruntled students to complain such unjust to their comrades.

This goes on for about 10 minutes, and by that time we haven’t yet moved anywhere. The hallway is full of noise, because many students think loudly about what’s transpiring. I try to tune out and maybe remember some important facts that may be of use during the exam, but Donovan pulls me back into the conversation.

„What exam did you pick?“

„Biology.“

„Really? I picked history.“

„Oh! I guess you liked McHowall’s speech then?“

Donovan laughs and shakes his head.

„That old coot should’ve thought about his speech more. Comparing our exams to the crusade seems pretty out of place and excessive, if you ask me.“

„I don’t know. I didn’t listen to him at all,“ I admit with a chuckle.

Donovan’s gaze flicks at me a few times.

„Yeah, I tuned out halfway,” he utters with certain hesitation. “He’s really full of himself to think that this kind of speech motivated anyone. Just give us the papers and leave us be.“

„He’s just old-school. Back when teachers had any authority he would’ve killed it.“

„Didn’t think you’re a toady…“

I roll my eyes.

„Please!“

He releases a hearty belly laugh, which reminds me of a dog’s bark.

„I get it, I get it! But everyone applauded pretty well. That’s nice, isn’t it?”

„Sure. He’s earned it in my eyes.“

„Do tell?“

“Say what you will, but he has pulled us through to this moment at the very least. And a principal in a high school isn’t the kind of profession any sane person would accept, but he’s been on this position for almost 14 years now and managed it quite well. A feat like that is no piece of cake.“

„True. I wonder if he’s going to retire soon.“

„Hah! Retire?“ I scoff and shake my head. „He’s been here for a long time, but he’s not that old. He could leave, but I don’t think his pride lets him.“

„Maybe I underestimated him. He did jump on that table like a hyena…“

Our conversation drags on for a while until we have a new topic: the disease control people.

„I think this has been blown way out of proportion again. Last year we had the same thing with the new strain of flu. It arrived, we panicked, few people died, but most survived. “

„Last year some guys in masks didn’t come to check up on high school students. There has to be something different this time,“ I remind Donovan.

„’Aight. Fair point,“ he admits and bites his lip.

„And furthermore…“

Donovan’s smirk tells me that he finds my word choice funny, but he doesn’t interject.

„…If a random high school gets such a reaction, then what about other places? Malls? Business centers? Hospitals? Is _this_ happening all over the city, or did we just pick the short straw for some reason?“

Donovan can’t answer any of those questions. As our conversation stops again, I decide to check my phone, but there is no answer from anyone in the group. They must’ve gone to sleep again. Donovan also takes his phone out. He taps around for a bit, seemingly finding nothing, until a gasp gets my attention.

„Hey, mate.”

„What?“

„Check this out…“

He shows me a social media site which lets people write their thoughts to the world. I’ve never really bothered with stuff like that, because I don’t see how I could put it to good use. Now, though, the app may have proven me wrong. Almost everything written is by other school students reporting the exact same thing in their faculties. There are some that even mention the hospital. I whistle.

Do you know what this means?“ Donovan says and he seems quite agitated. „Well, I at least think-…”

„What?“ I ask him as he flusters and grinds his teeth. „What are you talking about?!“

„Our city is being quarantined! No-one gets in, no-one gets out!“

It takes me a while to process that information. If the city is truly being quarantined as we speak, there must be something much worse than a simple flu going on. He nods like he just read my mind.

„You were right, Mike! There _is_ something else going on!“

„Come on, this is probably nothing…“

„You’re going to backtrack now? Really?“

„Checking schools and whatnot isn’t a clear sign of a quarantine! It could just be a check-up,“ I try to convince Donovan. „And besides, there aren’t any reports of us being walled in, right?“

Donovan looks at his phone. When he doesn’t find anything to prove his theory, he just shrugs.

„There is no point in starting a panic! For all we know we’re all healthy and this blows over in an hour!“

Donovan laughs, but doesn’t argue.

„That’s awfully optimistic, but maybe you’re right.“

Although I possibly calmed him down, I start to feel unease myself. I’m fairly certain that the city isn’t being quarantined, however, I notice something weird regardless. The guys patrolling the hallway don’t seem to be related to any kind of disease control unit I’m aware of. Usually, these kinds of people have some kind of medical training under their belt. I’ve seen my fair share of such personnel, and I can easily say that these guys seem to be almost the opposite of what one would expect from a medical professional. The latter would be more calm and collected, but some of the masked men are quite vigilant, occasionally squinting their eyes at a few students as if trying to notice something especially important. The more I look at them, the more I start to notice their peculiar nature. Like a picture that seems normal at first, but the more you concentrate on it the weirder things get.

For example…

What kind of a doctor has a military grade walkie-talkie? What kind of a doctor has a tactical vest underneath their lab coat? What kind of a doctor…

I spot two men standing a few yards away from us. There seems to be a weird bump on one of the guys’ hip. I’ve seen a few spy movies to know what this means. A curious look from Donovan tells me that he has caught on, so he turns his attention on the men as well. I decide to ask if he sees anything unusual about them.

„Are you talking about the fact that they are wearing military uniforms or the fact that _these guys have a freaking gun?!_ “

Luckily, he whispers the last part.

„You noticed it too, huh?“

„No shit?!“

„Jesus Christ almighty…“

I sigh and take my phone out. I decide that this information needs to be shared with the group, but as soon as I start to tap a message, I hear a scream.

„H-Hey! Hey! Get away from her!“

A girl’s voice is yelling at someone. It comes from somewhere in the front of the column. Donovan tries to see what’s going on, but shakes his head at my direction after his attempts bear no fruit.

„Get someone in here! We have a 2-1-0-6! I repeat-…“

„Hey! Get off!“

The girl screams. Most of the students have turned their attention towards the end of the hallway.

„Get the fuck back RIGHT NOW!“

„LEAVE HER ALONE!“

We hear many footsteps pass us in the hall. My mind is late with processing the sight, but I do better than Donovan.

„Are these…?“

„Hazmat suits,“ I finish Donovan’s sentence. „These guys have hazmat suits.“

He whistles in response.

As there is no one to keep the students in line, we manage to take a peek towards the front. We see 4 men in hazmat suits trying to drag away an unconscious student, and three of the masked men holding her friend back.

„Keep her off! Gah! This whole place is fucked!“

„What?!“

„Didn’t you fucking hear the call? 2-1-0-6! Fuck’s sake… Get the gym doors open already!“

„…Shit!“

As soon as the gym doors slam shut, general panic fills the hallway. Many students have stood up in order to look around as if trying to notice any hints of the virus amongst them.

„2-1-0-6? Did you hear that?“ Donovan turns to me. „What do you think that is?“

I shrug and try to form coherent thoughts, but my mind is empty and my thoughts scattered about.

„I have no idea. It seems to be a code of some sort…“

„Spot on.“

„Did that girl faint or something?“ I ask Donovan, deciding not to address the obvious sarcasm in his voice.

„I don’t know,” he says, looking around anxiously. “But, Mike, we should really-…“

„Haley! Haley! W-What’s wrong?! HALEY!“

I turn around. It takes me a while to identify the owner of the voice, but seconds later I see another girl grab her friend by the shoulders, latter seemingly in a state of unconsciousness. Without much of a thought, I edge forwards, but get stopped immediately.

„Are you sure that’s a good idea, Mike? She may have… whatever _this_ is!“ Donovan whispers with suspicion.

The girl hastily lowers her friend on the floor. It seems like Donovan isn’t the only one who can put two and two together: other students immediately start to back away from them as well.

„I doubt it. She probably just fainted due to stress or something…“

„You don’t know that.“

I’m left with a decision. A few seconds ago I didn’t even think twice about helping the girl, however, doubt starts to linger in my mind. Am I in danger right now? Could she have this new disease? The reaction from the masked men sure didn’t seem that calm, so whatever this is, it’s serious. Yet my conscience doesn’t let me walk away. This may be a stupid idea, but I need to be sure that this girl is okay.

„I need to do something!“ I declare and turn away from Donovan, stepping closer to the girl.

Donovan doesn’t stop me this time. Instead, he sighs and backs away into the crowd.

„Her name is Haley, right?“ I address the girl sitting beside Haley.

The girl lifts her head and nods.

„And you are…?“

„M-Mika. I-I don’t know what-…“

I kneel at Haley and tenderly nudge her face a few times.

„Haley! Can you hear me?“

I raise my voice and try again, but I get no reaction, even after slapping her face. She’s as out as one can be.

„Does she have any illnesses you know of? Like diabetes or anything like that?“

As Mika ponders about my question, I begin examining Haley’s wrist for a pulse. I can’t seem to get a good read, so I move to her neck.

„I-I don’t know… N-No…?“

I grab my own neck and compare my pulse with her in order to determine whether it’s normal. It’s quite a rookie tactic, and I bet a real medical professional would disapprove, but I can’t for the life of me recall even the approximate normal pulse range regular humans have.

„What’s wrong with her?“

“You’re asking me?” I chuckle. “Aren’t you her friend?”

The abruptness of the situation as well as my new responsibility over Haley’s health has increased my anxiety. I know that I can get quite insensitive when I’m nervous, so I bite my tongue in order to stay quiet.

Mika’s visibly afraid, but I can’t give her a definitive answer. During my extra medical courses we only delved into the pure theory of physiology. Anything about practical first aid was only mentioned briefly during some lectures. This is the reason I simply shrug at the girl.

„Probably just passed out. From stress or… whatever.“

I deliberately avoid the word „disease“ and „illness“ in order to avoid any panic amongst the students watching us. Funnily enough, I manage to send myself into panic when I realize I forgot to check a crucial factor about Haley’s wellbeing. Immediately fixing the mistake, I find that her breathing is hollow and inconsistent. I feel another wave of dread wash over me, because I don’t think I can do anything at this point.

I exhale and close my eyes.

_I really don’t want to do this._

„Donovan!“ I yell behind me.

I try to ignore the mass of students now congregated near us, but I feel myself get more flustered every second.

„ _Donovan!_ “

„God damn it, Mike!” he blurts out and kneels next to me. “What do you want?!“

„Get one of those masked guys over here.“

He looks at me like I went mad all of a sudden.

„What?!“

„You heard what I said!“ I thunder at him.

„Are you sure?“ he asks and edges closer. „You think _they_ can help her? Didn’t you see what happened to the last girl?“

I frown and lower my voice.

„I don’t know! I got a girl who’s barely breathing here! There may be real doctors in the gym!“

A deep exhale on his part tells me that he’s probably having the same battle as before, but I may have convinced him to help me. It’s not like he has much of a choice. We are being watched by a mass of students, and I doubt that he wants to garner any negative attention. Or maybe he just found his conscience.

„Mate, I hope you know what you’re doing!“

_I do too…_

Deciding to act, he pushes himself up and tries to move past the crowd of students who have effectively blocked us in a circle.

„HEY! GET THE FUCK BACK! Leave them some fucking room!“

Donovan’s deep demanding voice manages to wake up some of the onlookers who quickly scurry out of his way.

While Donovan is gone to look for someone tad more qualified to deal with this situation, I’m left with two tasks. The first one is keeping an eye on Haley; the second one is trying to keep Mika as calm as possible.

„Hey! It’s going to be alright!“ I try to assure her.

The girl lifts her gaze from her friend and faintly nods. I send a quick smile her way and focus on Haley again. Her condition hasn’t improved, but it hasn’t worsened either, so Mika and I get to breathe easy for a minute.

This little moment of calm is quickly swept under when we both witness Haley cramp up. Mika’s face contorts into horror while I try to get a better look. Unfortunately for me, I barely noticed it as this tremor only lasted for a fraction of a second.

“W-What was that?!” Mika mumbles.

“I have no idea,” I answer honestly.

There could be a million things wrong with her, so it’s pointless for me to even begin devising a theory. The latter requires sufficient experience and knowledge – both things I surely lack. Theory or not, the same symptom happens again, and this time I could see it clearly. Her entire body twitches as if she had just received an electric shock.

„Is there any possibility she could have epilepsy?“

I don’t know how appropriate that question is. I’ve seen some videos about an epileptic fit and this surely isn’t it. Epileptics don’t suffer individual convulsions, although I can’t be one hundred percent sure.

Mika shrugs, her tear-filled eyes glancing solely towards Haley’s body, which has now convulsed a few more times. These seem get increasingly more frequent.

After some time, my fears become reality. If she didn’t have a seizure before, she sure has one now. My mind begins to race as I try to remember bits and pieces of information that could prove useful. Nothing comes up from the internship days, but I do recall a video I watched a long time ago…

„Mika!“ I shout. „Give me your scarf!“

She doesn’t seem to understand.

„Your scarf! Scarf, damn it!“

My demand is soon met. It takes the frightened girl a few seconds, but she unwraps her scarf and gives it to me. I grab it and immediately place it under Haley’s neck, which sways on the tile floor in an awkward angle. Although her convulsions continue, at least her head is somewhat stabilized.

I look around to see if Donovan has come back, but there is no sight of him. Having nothing else to do but wait for him, I keep an eye on Haley, whose seizure has now ended. I check her pulse and breathing again, but those haven’t changed much.

_I just hope she doesn’t have another fit._

I keep my hand on her wrist. This goes on for a few minutes until something surprising happens.

„H-Haley…?“

Mika lowers herself to her friend who begins to open her eyes.

„Hey, Haley! You passed out. Just lay still for a bit,” I warn the girl.

Mika winces and stops trying to get Haley on her feet. The girl still seems to be quite confused about the whole ordeal, so I try to convince her to keep lying down. I’m unable to finish my though, because I spot something quite unnerving about her.

Haley’s eyes – they’re yellow. A bright shade of yellow. I can safely say that they weren’t that color before.

Students around us begin to murmur and point their fingers. Haley seems to be smiling, but soon enough I realize that whatever she’s doing is far from it.

Frozen in place, I witness how Haley turns into something I’ve only seen in horror flicks. Mika’s still painfully unaware of what’s going on, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Haley has already grabbed her neck, and it seems like she doesn’t want to let go.

I stumble backwards as students around us begin to scream. I push myself away from Haley who has now stuck her teeth into Mika’s neck. The poor girl looks at her friend in shock while her throat gets ripped open. She gurgles something unintelligible, making even more blood gush from her neck.

My eyes are fixated on the terrible sight, so it takes me a while to notice that I’m continuously pushing myself against a wall. My mind tells my body to get up, but the latter is unable to do anything other than sit still, as Haley grabs another student by the leg and rips a chunk of it clean off. Other screams echo in the hallway and this wakes my body up. Like clockwork, hyperventilation sets in and the room begins to spin. One by one the students stuck in the claustrophobic crowd get attacked by the lovely girl now turned into a mindless freak.

I grip the floor and get up, my legs finally working together with my hands. It took only a minute, but the hallway has fallen into chaos. Students running in every direction imaginable in order to get away from “them”. Terrible screaming is mixed with guttural sounds of growling and gurgling. There is blood on the walls and bodies on the ground, some of which convulse like Haley did. Blurry figures grab others and screams follow, but I don’t understand why.

_I don’t understand anything at all._

Suddenly, a face appears. It screams something, but my head is filled with too much static to even hear him. His mouth moves in a peculiar way I’ve certainly seen before. It starts to dawn on me…

„Mike!“

_How does he know my name?_

„Mike! Mikey!“

A sudden jolt of pain in my cheek wakes me up.

„Mikey! We have to move!“

_It’s him! I wonder where he was._

„Donova-…“

„There’s no time, Mike! We have to go! NOW!“

Without any warning, he grabs me by my jacket and pulls me off the wall. Unable to guide myself, I collide with a person that growls at me. I move my feet in a direction I thought was correct, but as I get pulled towards a different route, I feel my legs give. I trip on someone, only barely managing to break the fall with my hands. Despite my clumsiness, I get pulled on my feet almost immediately.

We climb up the stairs while dodging students left and right. Donovan pushes others out of our way whilst dragging me with him, his iron grip holding me by his side. As soon as we climb the last steps, we hear a thunderous clacking sound. People in front of us fall on the ground one-by-one. Although I try to see what’s going on, my attempt is cut short.

“Get down!”

I grunt in pain as my head hits the ground. Too late to break the fall with my hands means that my shoulder took the brunt of the hit. Someone holds me down while the clacking gets ever so louder. As I lay there, disoriented, I feel, rather than hear, countless thumps on the wooden floor. My ears ringing and vision blurred, I try to get up, but the person laying on top of me keeps me on my stomach.

As soon as the clacking stops, the body rolls off of me. I grab my head and try to focus on recovering my eyesight, but the only thing I see are shadows running about. The screams of pure terror and agony are still echoing throughout the hall, and the entire scene slowly takes a more detailed shape. I barely manage to stay on my feet as I get pulled away from the hallway of chaos. A door opens and I’m thrown into a room, falling a few feet away from the person.

He pants and whimpers for a few seconds. I try to get my bearings, but my vision is still impaired. His guttural heaving partly masks the chaos coming from outside. Moments later, a disgusting spatter is heard as he vomits on the ground. My vision starts to come back, and I grab ahold of a table I bumped against.

„D-Don-…,“ I mumble, but a nauseating jolt of pain forces me to stay quiet.

Donovan coughs and spits, supporting his arms on the doorknob.

„You good?“ I stutter at him as he wipes his mouth. „Are you hurt?“

He shakes his head and crumbles on the floor. The only thing that can be heard apart from his shaky breathing is the agonizing screams and continuous clacking coming from the hallway.

„What was that?”

The clacking quiets down. I hear some shouting.

„Donovan, were those-…?“

„Gunshots!“ he spits out and looks at me. „They’re killing everyone!“

_The things I heard whizzing past me…_

„Jesus Christ, Mike,“ he mumbles and grabs the wall to slowly get up. „We need to get out of here!“

Donovan is absolutely right – the sooner we escape the better. I immediately look around in order to locate a suitable window, but to our dread, he managed to pick a room without them. From the looks of it, it seems like this classroom was previously used for art classes, as proven by the countless brushes and little containers of paint on the shelves. The condition of the desks also supports my theory, because not one of them is untouched by little smudges of paint. Donovan seems quite surprised about the classroom’s existence, but I recall sitting in one of these chairs a year ago while other classrooms were under renovation. What I’m curious about is why this classroom was unlocked at all. This hasn’t been regularly used for at least 2 years.

None of this matters, and Donovan is quick to remind me that, because we seem to be in deep trouble. Without windows, our only escape route is through the same door we came in from. The mere thought of returning to the hallway fills me with terror, yet we both understand that there is no other choice. Should we linger in here longer, we are definitely going to be discovered. Although I’m incredibly perturbed by this plan, Donovan convinces me to stay strong. As instantly barging out would be suicide, we wait for a quiet moment before sneaking out into the hallway.

We are greeted by remnants of total carnage, all of it unleashed on our fellow students. A mass of dead bodies stacked against the walls and near the stairs. Bullet holes and empty cartridges litter the ground, most of them lying in large pools of blood. It takes me a lot of willpower not to vomit right then and there, but I manage to keep my composure. We try to peek around the corner, but suddenly hear something behind us.

„Freeze!“

We immediately comply.

„Get up,“ the voice demands. „Get up, _now_!“

„Alright! Alright!“ Donovan utters quietly and raises his hands.

We both stand up.

„Are you bitten?“

„N-No, we’re not,“ I manage to answer.

„Are you sure? How did you get here?“

„We hid in that classroom behind us,” Donovan says and points his finger in the approximate location.

We hear some static from what seems to be a walkie-talkie.

„Riptide 2-1, do you copy?“

„Copy, Break. I got a few stragglers here.“

Static.

„Riptide 2-1, say that again.“

„Repeat, I have 2 male students, presumably uninfected.“

Static.

„Roger, Riptide 2-1, bring them over to the evacuation area. We move in 15 mikes, over.“

_Evacuation?_

„Alright, you two. Turn towards me, slowly.“

We finally get a look at the man holding us at gunpoint. Although his military uniform is clearly visible, he still has his lab coat on. The latter is entirely drenched in blood and some weird yellow liquid. Despite the fact that the hand holding his pistol is steady and his demeanor calm, his eyes betray fear and distrust.

„You walk in front of me to the courtyard. You make no attempts to escape. You comply to my commands. Otherwise, I’ll kill you right where you stand.“

I’m ready to do whatever the man orders – he did say evacuation – but Donovan has different plans.

“What happened here?”

“Something terrible, which is none of your concern anymore,” the man answers, his voice cold and dismissive. “I suggest you to-…”

“Something terrible?”

Donovan’s voice cracks as his gaze switches from one desecrated body to the next. The man tilts his head and frowns, clearly irritated by the interruption.

“Did you do this?” he asks the man with such anguish that is hard to listen to. “Did your people do this?”

But the man isn’t swayed by his questions nor his tone of voice.

“Move.”

“I think we deserve a little bit more than that,” Donovan declares and hesitantly steps towards the man. “Did you shoot at all of these people?”

“I thought I told you to comply, didn’t I?”

Donovan completely ignores the man’s commands and points at the corpses.

“Those students did absolutely nothing to you. They weren’t a threat…”

“I understand that you’re scare-…”

“There were no questions, no tests, no… nothing. You just murdered them…”

“You need to move.”

“No.”

The man squints his eyes at Donovan. Tension could be cut with a knife at this point.

“I don’t think so,” he simply utters. “I think I want to go home.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

I open my mouth to try to convince Donovan to comply, fearing that the man could hurt him, however, my assumption is only half-correct. It’s not Donovan who finds himself staring down the barrel of a gun. It’s me.

“H-Hey, now…,” I manage to say weakly, backing away towards a nearby wall. “Please don’t…”

The man clearly means business as proven by his determined scowl, which is why I don’t even attempt putting up a tough guy façade. In a moment of desperation, I glance at Donovan whose face mirrors my shock.

“Alright!” he exclaims and lowers his head in defeat. “We’ll go with you. We’ll do what you say!”

Relief washes over me as the man lowers his gun with a smirk.

We turn around and traverse the floor covered with bodies. Some are so bullet-ridden that it’s hard to believe these were living beings at some point. I don’t get to examine the bodies very long, because the man escorting us pushes us towards the exit.

The courtyard has changed drastically. There are white tents and supply caches scattered around the big patch of grass, as well as uniformed soldiers and the same masked people in lab coats walking around. We hear choppers whizzing by as we get escorted towards some trucks. There we spot other students. They seem unharmed, but look really disorientated, mostly just sitting on the grass and not really doing much other than staring at the passing people. It’s obvious they’re waiting for the evacuation to start, and I wonder if that’s why the trucks are here.

„Get in.“

The man escorting us gestures towards the back of the truck. I catch Donovan’s gaze who seems to be more hesitant than me. The trucks don’t instill a lot of confidence with their open-top nature, so I try to figure out an argument against this request.

„W-We’re being evacuated, right?“ I manage to ask.

The man simply nods and does the same motion towards the truck.

„Where will you take us?“

„There’s a field hospital near the 23rd highway checkpoint. You’ll be cared for there,“ he says without missing a beat.

„Come on, Mikey. You heard him.“

To my surprise, Donovan has no other objections. He ignores my quizzical look completely and walks past me, grabbing ahold of the truck’s doors. I begin climbing in the back after him, and soon enough other students follow us in. This goes on until the truck fills up. There is barely any room to move as we get pushed towards the back.

„Donovan…“

„Stop,” he growls. “You don’t-…”

„Thank you,” I cut him off. “You saved my ass. “

„It’s nothing, Mikey,” he says with an empty smile. “You would’ve done the same thing.”

I open my mouth to try and convey some positivity, but I’m interrupted by the trucks starting up, signaling the beginning of the evacuation.

Unfortunately, there is no way for us to see what’s going on outside, so we’re pretty much in the dark during the whole ride. I try to remember twists and turns the truck makes, but after a few minutes, my attention is turned to the noises coming from outside the trucks. Although the engines make a pretty loud sound, I can still hear something that resembles the gunshots that were heard back in school.

Soon enough we arrive on a straight road. This gives me time to check my phone. I still haven’t received any messages back, so I decide to write in the group chat again.

„ _We’re being evacuated. The school is fucked. Many people died. I don’t know what’s happening, but whatever you do, don’t leave your house! The virus is much worse than you think!“_

There is no way in hell I’m able to explain this absurdity any further. No one from the club reacts to this message, but I comfort myself with the thought that at least they’ve received some sort of a warning. It’s terribly vague, but I don’t know what else to say. Everything I’ve seen today has been so bizarre that I find it hard to trust my own senses. For all I know, this could either be a dream, and I would soon wake up in my bed, or this could be a prank pulled on us by the school board. Of course, a prank like this would be highly unlikely and ridiculous by itself, knowing how strict our school management is, but it’s a better explanation than a virus straight out of a thriller and murderous military gunmen out on a rampage.

I pocket my phone and support my aching head on the cold wall. For the first time in a few hours I can manage to think somewhat clearly, however, this also brings back the feeling of nausea I’ve suppressed for so long. It’s clear that something happens to people who have the illness. The girl I helped turned into a freak in minutes and managed to catch others with incredible speed, not to mention the yellow substance and eyes. I close mine and try to visualize anything else than Mika’s throat being ripped open, but the image is now engraved into my mind. I gag a bit and open my eyes again, but the snarling sounds of the truck are too similar to the noises Mika’s throat made.

Donovan still stares at the wall. My attempts to get into any sort of contact with him fail. Instead, I turn my attention towards the people inside the truck. I try to ask a few of the students their names, but they just ignore me. Their eyes are empty and pretty much stare either at the ground or just random points inside the truck.

„They’re probably sedated, Mike.“

I turn towards Donovan who finally acknowledges me.

„How do you know?“

„It’s pretty obvious. They are not answering you. The better question is, why are they here?“

„What do you mean?“

„The others got shot inside the school, mercilessly and indiscriminately,” Donovan explains and rubs his face. “These guys didn’t, meaning that they had to be somewhere else.“

„I’m not following you.“

„Either we’re getting evacuated like you believe or we’re heading to a lab of some sort,“ Donovan says and sighs. „Sedation – think guinea pigs, Mike. God knows what they will do to us-…“

„Dude, stop!” I shout. “For fucks sake!“

Donovan raises his eyebrows in shock as he hears my outburst. However, the sudden emotion turns into anger.

„What?” he mumbles under his breath. “You really believe this crap about the evacuation? After you almost died to what-ever-the-fuck attacked that girl? After you got FUCKING SHOT AT?!“

„I-…“

„WHAT?!“

His frightening mass looms over me as he walks closer, bumping into other students paying no mind to us. Having arrived almost directly in front of me, he forcefully grabs me by the collar and lifts me against the wall.

„We’re dead men already, don’t you realize that?!“ he whispers, lip twitching uncontrollably. „If the monsters don’t kill us, the masked people sure as hell will.“

His hazel eyes don’t convey anger, but rather fear. This is the kind of fear that immobilizes even the most courageous men and breaks the strongest, but absolutely pulverizes the weakest. Something that activates the most primal instincts we have.

I desperately wish to instill some confidence and solace, but I just can’t muster up any positive thoughts. We stay in silence until he decides to let go of me.

„I’m sorry,” he mumbles under his breath. “I shouldn’t have…“

„It’s okay,“ I say immediately, but he turns away after adjusting his jacket. „Dude, we’re going to be fine, alright? We’re getting out of here!“

But he doesn’t listen.

After a few more minutes of driving, I feel the trucks slow down until they eventually stop. The engines turn off and the subsequent silence is deafening, but only for a moment. Soon enough I hear the same gurgling and growling noises that we heard in the school. Fortunately for us, they seem to come from the other trucks. Unfortunately for us, some of the students in our truck have begun to come to their senses. And they hear the same things.

The growling is completely muffled by students banging on the walls, begging to be let out. Some of them fall on their knees and sob quietly, while others stay still and look around in confusion. Amongst that noise I hear some faint talking in the distance. I try to listen what the people are talking about, but panic in our truck is steadily rising. And not only in our truck…

Terrifying screams and yells pierce the sky as the growling gets worse and worse. At first I can’t really tell what’s happening, but the subsequent realization makes me sick to my stomach. Some of the infected got into the trucks… Amongst the survivors…

The shouts are unbearable, and the students in our truck start to scream as well. The begging goes louder. I can’t listen to it anymore. I feel like I’m slowly losing grip on reality itself.

„Mike!“

Donovan tugs at my arm.

„Get up!“

I barely hear him.

„…What?“

He raises his finger as if trying to listen for something. It’s almost impossible over the yelling and screaming, but soon enough I think I hear something as well. Not only is there someone talking, but there’s an ominous metallic clicking accompanying it. I try to remember where I heard that noise before, but Donovan already knows, and the emotion in his face tells me everything I need to know.

I don’t have to wonder whether the things we heard were true, because right after I push myself up, the air thunders.

_Gunshots…_

Panic sets in. The same kind of panic I felt in the classroom. The only difference is that now there is no escape. Every bullet is a hit to my sanity. Donovan desperately looks around for an escape route, but his pursuit is getting increasingly frantic. Many others are doing the same. Some try to climb the walls, but latter prove too slippery and high to get over. Some scratch at the walls mindlessly, calling out for their parents. Some stay completely still and stare into the void.

The clacking stops and we hear the familiar sounds of growling and screaming. A few moments pass and the gunshots start going off again. This time they’re closer.

I somehow manage to focus on Donovan who tries to show me something. He gestures at the student in front of him, but I don’t understand what his plan is. He does the same thing multiple times when it finally dawns on me: he’s planning on using another student as a shield.

Seeing me shake my head, Donovan frowns and mouths something at me, yet his attempts at convincing me bear no fruit. An hour ago I tried to help a girl who turned into a monster, and although I didn’t manage to save her friend, who got mauled right in front of my eyes, at least I didn’t directly cause her demise. People can blame me for that failure, but I’m not going to knowingly cause anyone’s death. Donovan’s eyes beg me to listen to him, but I’ve already made my decision.

The gunshots stop. Familiar clicking sound is heard, however, this time I hear footsteps as well, which signals the possibility of them getting closer to us. This breaks something in me.

With every step heard my instincts start to take over. My mind begins to rationalize what the more primitive part of my brain wishes to do. It’s clear that this is my only shot at surviving, but at what cost? Would I be able to live with myself?

It’s clear that Donovan has given up on me. He gulps and prepares to grab the boy in front of him. His movements are shaky, but his eyes are determined, and this determination helps me understand something crucial.

Everything that happened today is in direct violation of the things I believe in. There are no rules to abide by anymore. I’ve seen random people get shot at seemingly for nothing. I’ve heard threats which were made good on. I’ve heard murder. I’ve heard pleas and begs go unanswered. I’ve seen carnage like I’ve never seen before. All of this begs the question: in this current world, if the human life is so insignificant…

_What the fuck am I waiting for?_

Something slides back and collides with a metallic click. I grab the girl in front of me who is oblivious about what’s going to happen. I know that this has to be done with the perfect timing in mind and success is far from certain, but this is my only chance at walking away from this.

The air shatters around me, and this prompts me to take action. I pull the girl down and lay behind her, making my body as tiny as possible.

I hear bullets hit meat. I close my eyes.

_Please! God, I’m begging you!_

The bodies fall one-by-one. The screams don’t stop.

_Please! Let this be over!_

The girl thrashes around. She probably hasn’t been hit yet.

_Please! I don’t want to die!_

Bullets zip by. Desperate gasps.

_Please, forgive me._

Her head finally falls on the floor, staying motionless.

_I don’t want to die!_

Something warm flows under my face.

_Please don’t hurt me!_

There’s sobbing.

_Don’t hurt me!_

I hear laughter.

_Leave me alone!_

They snicker at me.

_I’m scared!_

I want to cry.

_“Mommy!”_

I just want to go home…

_“Wait, Jack? Did he just say “mommy”?!”_

_“What?”_

_The crowd howls in laughter. I force my eyes shut. My stomach hurts so much._

_“Did he really?! Wow!”_

_“What a stupid loser!”_

_“No wonder you’re such a pussy! Who calls for their mommy?!”_

_I don’t dare to move. Someone grabs me by my hair._

_“D-Don’t!”_

_“Your “mommy” isn’t going to save you, Caulfield. What did I tell you about crossing our turf?”_

_The bulky kid stares at me. My lip quivers._

_“Y-You s-said th-…”_

_“I told you not to. Didn’t you understand us last time?”_

_“B-Bu-…”_

_Something strikes my face and I fall on the tarmac. The attack came too suddenly for me to prepare for it. I feel terribly sick._

_“What the fuck are you doing, Billy? Don’t hit him in the face, stupid!”_

_“Hahaha, why, Jack? Who cares?!”_

_They laugh again._

_“Yeah, good point. I don’t think anyone even cares enough to notice.”_

_There’s a pit in my stomach that isn’t related to the beating I endured._

_“I haven’t seen his parents this year.”_

_He pulls my hair again._

_“What’s that? Are you so pathetic that even your ”mommy” doesn’t love you?”_

_Tears force themselves out._

_“Aww, Jack! Look what you did! You made him cry!”_

_“What a fucking baby!”_

_“Tsk-tsk-tsk.”_

_He lets go of me and stands up._

_“Guys, I think he got the message.”_

_“You sure? We could drive it home some more…”_

_“I think it’s enough, Billy.”_

_“Whatever you say, Jack.”_

_Something hits me in my stomach. I begin to cough._

_“Don’t cross us next time, dipshit!”_

I’m pulled back to present day. The gunfire has stopped for good and the ringing in my ears is now reduced to nothing but slight hum.

“Mike?” someone whispers. “Mikey?”

It takes me a while to recognize Donovan’s voice.

“Mikey? Are you alive?”

“Yes…”

I decide to open my eyes.

“W-What happened?”

“I’m not sure,” Donovan answers. “I-I guess they ran out of ammo? Or they killed everyone?”

I push myself up, grabbing ahold of the wall near me.

“D-Dude,” I mumble, looking at all the corpses around us. “Where are you?”

Donovan raises his hand a few feet next to me. He seems to be stuck under another victim of the massacre.

“I think I got hit.”

Without saying a word, I carefully step over the remains of my schoolmates in order to get closer to Donovan. I drag the corpse off of him and examine his situation. His leg does seem to be hit by a bullet, however, it hasn’t struck any important vessels. Otherwise, the bleeding would be a lot worse. I extend my hand towards him.

“Can you get up?”

“I think so.”

I prop him up on his good leg and let him fall against the truck wall for support. He gasps and rubs his thigh, but doesn’t complain. Instead he points past me.

“Is the door open?”

I shrug.

“I’ll go and check,” I whisper and step closer towards the back door of the truck.

Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find anything that would let me open this from the inside. Donovan realizes that as soon as I turn towards him. We both sigh and look around.

“You a good climber?” he suddenly asks.

“Not really. Why?”

Donovan points to the wall of the truck.

“You’re going to have to get over that and open the door from the outside.”

“Me?”

I wince, because I don’t really think I can make it so far up there. It’s not a question of strength, that I surely lack as well, but rather the smoothness of the walls.

“Well, I can’t go anywhere,” Donovan answers and points at his leg.

“I don’t think it matters much,” I declare, motioning at the wall. “There’s nothing to grab on to.”

“I could give you a boost though,” he says confidently and fixes his back to the wall. “Come on, you can do it.”

He holds his hands in a cupped motion, letting me step on them and use this extra height to grab onto the edge of the wall. I grunt and gasp, somehow managing to hoist one of my legs over the wall.

_So far so good._

Of course, as soon as I think that, I slip and fall. Luckily, I was in a good enough of a position, so I manage to stick the landing and arrive safely to the other side.

“Alright! I’m over!” I whisper to Donovan.

I’m not even sure he heard that, but I wasn’t planning on chatting with him here anyway. I have completely forgotten about the masked men, who could still be in close proximity.

I hastily walk towards the back of the truck and slide a metal rod out of its pocket on the two doors. I grab one of them and pull it towards me. This successfully opens both of the doors. I see Donovan immediately hobble out while supporting most of his body weight on the wall. Like before, I extend my hand and help him climb out.

We take a moment to assess our surroundings. The masked men are still nowhere to be seen. From the absence of any traffic noise and high buildings, it’s safe to say that we seem to be in the countryside, however, our promised medical facility was a obviously a total lie. These people had no intention of helping us in any way. Donovan probably saw it coming a mile away, and I was the only idiot who believed in the evacuation.

It turns out that instead of a medical checkpoint, we actually stopped in a gas station; a totally random one. The bullet-ridden trucks standing in the middle of the parking lot paint an eerie picture of the situation. We weren’t going to have a burial. There isn’t even a mass grave dug out for us. Our last resting place was to be in these trucks amongst everyone else. Together… But ultimately alone.

I realize I’ve been staring at the corpses inside the truck. These are our schoolmates, stacked on top of each other, their bodies lying in grotesque positions, faces dull and cold, eyes empty and lifeless. I feel a lump in my throat.

“Come now, Mike,” Donovan whispers and pats my shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Where?” I scoff sadly. “Where do we go?”

Donovan purses his lips and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, mate. But this is no place to be.”

We don’t say anything, only taking a quiet moment to share our collective pain. During these last few hours, we’ve been brothers in arms. Our chances of survival were so slim, but despite everything, we came through. These hours have forged a bond that few get to experience in their lifetime.

We need to make peace with whatever we did and whatever we have to do in the future, but neither of us wants to face that reality just yet. The rules of this world have changed drastically, and we have no idea for how long – it may as well be forever. This kind of a pill is a tough one to swallow even for Donovan.

I begin to walk about, leaving Donovan wrap his wound with a torn out piece of his jacket. There seems to be no cell service in these parts, so Donovan suggest that I search the trucks for anything useful. I mostly take a look in the cabins, but the search gives no useful results other than a few maps of the city. After approaching the last truck, it’s quite clear what happened to the gunmen.

The bodies of the masked men lay on the ground near the last truck. One deceased man doesn’t have his lab coat on, so I get a closer look at his uniform. Judging by the camouflage pattern and the markings on the uniform, it’s clear that they’re military, however, the emblems that should be on the shoulder patches are ripped off.

They’ve died from something. Judging by some bite marks, it seems like they got into contact with the ill students, some of which probably escaped their prison. The doors of the truck are open, leaving a similar ghastly sight for me to see, further solidifying my theory. Surely enough, a few feet away I spot the bodies of three students riddled with bullets.

For a moment I feel relieved. The students are long gone and the soldiers lay on the pavement, yet the more I think about the bite marks, the more I remember what happened back in school. Haley had bitten a few students and those bites weren’t fatal, although the students started twitching on the floor soon after. Just as Haley had woken up after her seizure and turned into something that I couldn’t describe, every other student who came into contact with her did as well. All of this means that these men should share the same fate.

Which means Donovan and I are in grave danger. It’s laughably stupid how I didn’t realize that before. I step backwards as the bodies start to seize almost to my command.

“Don! Don, we have to move! _Now_!” I shout while running towards Donovan.

His perplexed face follows me until I arrive in front of him.

“What’s wrong?”

I point at the last truck while gasping for air.

“The soldiers… They were bitten!”

Donovan’s expression slowly turns. He knows very well what I’m talking about, and he knows what’s going to happen if we don’t start moving soon. It doesn’t really matter anymore though, because we hear growling behind us. One of the three masked men has woken up from their short slumber and has already turned the corner. His yellow eyes widened, he hums quietly.

Donovan inches closer to the back of the truck. It’s a smart idea and his best bet of avoiding the inevitable attack as he can’t run or fight with his injured leg. However, this means that I have to think of something else, because if we both stay in the truck, we’re trapped the same way as before. The problem is that I don’t know how to fight these things or what to fight them with.

It seems like the twitching mess near the last truck has noticed Donovan’s movements. His yellow eyes squint for a split second, indicating its intentions. There’s no time to lose now. Without hesitation I gesture at Donovan. He quickly starts to climb into the back of the truck again. I quickly back off, trying to find a weapon to defend myself with.

Things go wrong immediately. Not only does Donovan get stuck to the edge of the truck, his pants caught on the same metal rod that kept the doors closed, but two more freaks turn the corner, leaving me with three monsters to fight. I turn to Donovan in order to help him, but quickly realize that by doing so I’ve effectively doomed myself.

The gurgling man runs into me with full force, launching me on the tarmac. I manage to land on my back, leaving my head intact. I get to gather myself for a few seconds as the masked man crawls towards me. I try to kick his face, and get a few good attacks in, but this does little to slow him down. The others are also half-way and I’m lying on the ground, unable to defend myself properly. Somehow, I’m able to avoid the monster’s grip and get up.

In the background I notice something that makes my heart fall into my stomach. The two new infected have noticed Donovan, and turn their attention to him instead of me, probably because he still hasn’t gotten himself free, despite tugging his pants as violently as he can. I can’t really focus on him anymore as I get charged at again, this time evading the monster’s attack by side-stepping him.

“Mike! Mike, help m-…”

Donovan’s plea is cut short by his own screaming. I know what has happened before I’m able to fully process it.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!”

It’s no doubt that he got bit, however, he’s far from being dead.

“MIKE! PLEASE!”

Everything in my mind tells me to go and help him, but I’m still stuck in the same spot.

“MIKEY!”

His shouts get interrupted again, but this time I see chunks fly from his body.

_Dude, you need to go!_

“MIKEY! PLEASE HELP ME!”

I gulp and look to my left. The infected person starts to get up. I hear Donovan call my name again, but I haven’t yet moved a muscle.

I’m torn, because every inch of my existence ushers me to help him. Not only is saving him the right thing to do, but he has also saved my worthless ass twice today. I know that if it was me in there, screaming and begging, he wouldn’t think twice about helping me.

Alas, I’m standing right here.

I know that Donovan is already bitten. I know that I’m never able to stand against three murderous lunatics on my own. I also know that if I stay here, my chances of survival decrease exponentially. However, if I leave, maybe I’ll get to live another day. Maybe I get to see my friends again?

Pictures flash before my eyes. Monika’s teasing smirk, Yuri’s polite smile, Natsuki’s mocking gaze…

Sayori’s joyful laugh…

_I was so close…_

With a heavy heart, I turn away from Donovan. I’ve made my choice.

_I’m so sorry…_

I dart past the two infected as fast as I can.

“MIKE!”

_Run!_

“MIKEY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

_Mike, keep going!_

“AAAAAARGH!”

_It’s okay, Mikey… Just run!_

“MIKEY!”

_Don’t look back, Mike! Keep running!_

“MIKEY, DON’T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!”

_Don’t listen to him!_

“MIKE!”

_Mikey!_

“MIKEY!”

_Mikey, run!_

“HEEELP ME!”

_RUN!_


	5. Retrieval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri, Sayori, and Michael wait for the return of Monika and Natsuki.

I sit by the windowsill and look outside. The beautiful evening sunset drags on for quite a while, threatening to wrap the world in darkness once again. I can see trees sway and even spot a few pieces of rubble in the courtyard get carried by the force of the spring winds that get stronger every minute. It seems like a storm is building up soon, judging by the dark blue clouds flashing in the distance. As for the courtyard, it looks the same way as it did a year ago. Tents, supply caches, bodies in hundreds littering the yellow grass – all part of the memories I’ve tried to suppress so hard.

After I had my bout of illness in the hallway, I tried to play it off as a side product to the headaches I’ve been having, but Yuri is far too smart for that kind of an excuse. She told me that I lost my bearing for over 2 minutes and was screaming during most of it. At that time I was in no condition to explain what’s wrong with me, and even if I was, I had no intention to. I’ve just arrived here, and I can’t make myself seem crazy already. At least before I had some chance to hide my problems, but after the hallway incident, it’s quite clear, at least to Yuri, that something is going on.

When I came to my senses, I begged her to keep quiet about what had transpired. She tried to argue, but I kept pleading my case until she relented. It was a lot to ask, so I just told her that I couldn’t make Sayori worry about me. This is a big reason why I wanted it to stay between us, but not the only one. Although Sayori means the world to me, another reason is that I couldn’t make myself look weak in Monika’s eyes, seeing as we have an intention to present our plans about the future to the others. The latter need to see Monika as a strong leader and me as a capable advisor, but this can only work when Monika trusts me.

But how can I instill trust in others if I don’t trust myself?

Yuri agreed to keep my secret, but I could tell it wasn’t going to be the last time we would have a conversation on the subject.

Despite what had happened, she continued with the tour, after which I quickly said goodbye to her and went to look for Sayori, as I had promised to keep her company. I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone, but I had to get away from there. I didn’t have to search far for Sayori – I spotted her inside a vacant classroom that had a good view on the courtyard. My relief was quickly replaced by a tinge of sadness when I saw her lying on a desk. She had fallen asleep, and it seems like she was clutching her stomach.

I’ve taken over her shift and kept watch for about half an hour, but unfortunately, I’m getting tired by the minute. Natsuki and Monika still haven’t returned, and although I worry about them, my body can’t keep up with my mind anymore. Smaller wounds still hurt and my head aches in tandem with my shoulder, latter showing its presence every time I move too quickly or carelessly. It feels a bit better, but there’s a long way to go until I can use my right arm effectively. Maybe it will never be the same again, but that’s a thought I would gladly not think right now.

Soon enough, Sayori’s snoring comes to my aid, helping me stay awake. A few minutes pass and I have to resort to moving my shoulder every time I feel my eyelids fall. This seems to work the best, so I keep at it until I hear footsteps behind me.

“Hello, Michael. Have you seen anything?”

Yuri lowers her voice when she sees Sayori peacefully murmuring in her sleep. She walks next to me.

“Afraid not,” I say quietly. “Actually, I’m getting kind of worried.”

“You’re not the only one. They’ve been gone for far too long. The hospital isn’t that many miles away from here.”

Yuri looks outside and her eyes drag across the moonlit sky.

“I think they’re fine,” I suddenly say.

“You seem so confident about it.”

“I’m not. But they have to be fine,” I say, staring at the approaching thunderclouds.

There’s a moment of silence. It’s weird how Yuri’s body doesn’t move at all – her stance is stiff and restrained. I, on the other hand, tap on the windowsill with my fingers, probably showing my nervousness.

“Michael. About before…”

I dread what comes next, so I try to mentally prepare myself.

“Y-You can ignore me, if you so wish, but I feel like it’s my responsibility to say this.”

She pauses, trying to gather any reaction from me, but I’ve chosen to stare at the moon.

“This can stay between us. I promised to keep your secret safe. I’m just worried.”

I try to stop her, but it’s inevitable.

“Michael, I know you care about Sayori.”

She looks at me expectantly, and I have no other option than to react with confirmation.

“I’m sure you care about a-all of us. And we care about you.”

I begin to understand where she’s going with this.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t trust you. I’m just… afraid.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“I don’t want it to happen again. The thing in the hallway… I just can’t…”

From the corner of my eye, I can tell that Yuri’s face stays motionless. Sayori’s snoring accompanies the silence. It seems to me that Yuri chooses her words very carefully.

“I just wanted to assure you,” she says after taking a deep breath. “We won’t think any less of you. You’re safe here.”

I don’t know how much Yuri has pieced together, but the words offer some solace. It would be heartless of them to discard me as well as judge me during my lowest, however, even if they are understanding, I feel like the part of me I fear the most won’t be. One thing is for certain – I need to begin trusting my friends again.

“And if you don’t wish to share with Sayori, Monika, or Natsuki, you can share with me.”

I finally turn towards her. She smiles.

“I can take it, Michael. If you’re ready… I can just listen.”

As much as I don’t want to admit it, Yuri’s idea isn’t that bad. I can’t go to Sayori, because she’d just freak out and keep worrying about me. Monika doesn’t need anything else on her plate. Natsuki… I don’t know how she would react at this point. Everything related to her is a mystery. But Yuri…

I think back to the literature club days. She always had the darkest books with her, and many of them had to do with different horror themes. Often enough, these themes delved into various psychological aspects. Because of that, Yuri could be the most understanding of the bunch. The harsh truth is that I need to tell someone, because losing my bearings like this again could mean serious trouble. I may be a danger to myself or even them.

“It means a lot, Yuri. Thank you.”

Despite her apparent victory, her demeanor stays the same. We both look at the sky for a while, watching the thunderclouds gradually engulf the stars.

“How about you?”

“M-Me?”

I smile.

“I’ve been getting so much attention around here that I haven’t really asked how you’re doing.”

It’s pretty adorable seeing her get so flustered so suddenly. With that, the tension in the room dissipates rather quickly. At least on my end.

“I’m fine, Michael. Thank you for asking.”

“Do you get along with others?”

“Of course!” she exclaims. “Why do you even ask such a question?!”

“You’ve been together in this one place for quite some time now…”

During the time I spent in the club, I’ve had to mediate a couple of fights between the members. Of course, I was never as good as Sayori was, but I could handle myself adequately.

Yuri begins playing with her hair, surely trying to think of a neutral response.

“I-I would be lying if I said there were no problems at all. B-But I’m sure you understand, Michael! It’s to be expected. We’re still great friends!”

“That’s good to hear.”

Yuri then looks at me in horror.

“You don’t think I hate Sayori, do you? Because I-I didn’t mean to blow up at her!”

I can’t stop myself from laughing. Luckily, I muffle it, so that I wouldn’t wake Sayori.

“I think I would’ve said the same thing in that situation.”

“Oh, stop it, Michael!” Yuri whispers and peeks at me. “That’s terribly impolite! You don’t know how guilty I felt!”

“It was in the heat of the moment! Relax! She wouldn’t hate you in a million years.”

“I suppose you may be correct,” she says in a rather unsure manner.

“Do you think she’d be capable of hating anything?”

I motion at Sayori, whose snoring still rings throughout the room. My guess is that she’s dreaming quite vividly, because there’s a faint smile on her face. Yuri seems to have spotted it as well, because we both smirk.

“What do you do?” I ask after a minute or two.

Yuri’s expression displays confusion.

“I mean,” I quickly add, “do you still share poetry? Do you read? What do you do around here?”

Yuri turns towards the night sky in thought.

“We haven’t really done poem sharing in a while. N-Not that we don’t like poetry anymore!” she quickly declares. “You must understand that every day we’re either on our guarding posts or doing our chores. Natsuki and Monika plan out their looting operations and then depart, sometimes arriving hours or even days later.”

“But reading? It’s kind of your trademark around here.”

She smiles sadly.

“Unfortunately, and, if I may, peculiarly, I’ve had less time to read than before all of this.”

She catches the skepticism in my face.

“I suppose I haven’t been able to disassociate myself from this world as easily as from the one before.”

“Why?” I immediately ask, but she shrugs in response.

“Michael, I’m awfully sorry if it sounds preposterous, but this feels more real.”

I raise my eyebrow.

“You’ve effectively lost me now.”

Yuri smiles and places her hands behind her.

“This world has a clear purpose: survival. People desperately fighting to postpone their inevitable passing. Not only against the infected, but also against fellow humans. The world before was messy, sometimes needlessly callous. Even more so than this one.”

“So you’re saying that this is more straightforward?”

Yuri nods.

I try to wrap my head around that. It’s no secret Yuri was a huge bookworm and kind of a loner during high school. What separates me from her is the fact that she was probably this way her whole childhood. I don’t know much about her personal life, but I imagine that she hasn’t had many friends. She was probably an outcast and was bullied because of that. Her only escapism being books and poems, it’s easy to assume that the worlds she experienced in those were as important, and maybe even more tolerable, than the real world. I imagine that her favorite horror books have conveyed similar situations to our current one, so her feeling more comfortable in this world is understandable. I don’t think I agree with her, but I get what she means.

I ask her about the plans she had after high school, but she gets really embarrassed and the topic ends with that. My guess is that she hadn’t really thought about it during school, so she didn’t have an actual plan in the first place. This was a viable option – taking a year to gather experiences and think about what you like to do. That’s better than to just blindly pick a profession and stick with it. Especially in college, where it’s really important to study something that you’re actually interested in.

As we stand in silence, we suddenly hear a loud yawn behind us. Sayori has finally woken up, and she doesn’t look happy.

“What are you doing here, guys?” she asks, barely able to keep her eyes open.

“Waiting for Natsuki and Monika,” I answer. “Good morning, by the way!”

Sayori groans and pushes herself off the desk.

“You good?” I ask, deciding whether I should laugh or not.

“Ouch. My everything hurts!” she whines, dragging her feet towards the window.

I come to a conclusion that laughing would be inappropriate, because she grimaces and rubs her stomach. She manages to make her way next to Yuri and plop on a chair.

“They haven’t come back yet?”

“No. Not yet,” Yuri answers.

Sayori mutters something that I don’t hear, however, Yuri sure did: her eyes widen in shock. My best assumption is that she caught Sayori swearing. I don’t see Yuri’s facial expression, because she turned towards Sayori, but it must have been something quite vulgar for her to react this way.

“You didn’t need to cover my shift. You could’ve just woke me up!”

“It’s not like we’re busy or anything, so we might as well enjoy the storm,” I tell Sayori.

Yuri agrees with me.

“If you’re feeling tired, you can go to sleep,” she adds.

Sayori pouts and yawns.

“I’m not tired. I’m hungry!”

“I know. I’m hungry as well. But I’m fairly certain they’ll arrive soon,” Yuri says patiently and steps away from the windowsill to grab a chair.

“What were you talking about?” Sayori asks.

“You.”

“Wha-…?”

“Yes! Yuri told me that you were upset at her.”

I achieve my mischievous goal as I notice both Yuri and Sayori look at me and then each other. I smirk and turn to the sky once again, listening to the chaos unfold.

“Oh n-no! Sayori! W-We… _I_ said no s-such thing!”

“I wasn’t upset, Yuri! I _already_ told you!”

This back-and-forth goes on for a while. At least I managed to distract them for a good minute in order to keep their minds off our current predicament. Yuri stays on the defensive for a while, but then completely collapses and apologizes for her outburst repeatedly. Sayori keeps saying that she wasn’t mad at all. During all of this, it seems like Sayori has begun to lighten up, although seeing her look at me with a scowl sends shivers down my spine. Yuri has also gone quiet, staring at me with her hands on her hips.

“Michael!”

_I’m in trouble now!_

I turn to them as if I don’t know what I started.

“Yes?”

I get barraged by accusations. For a while I manage to hold my innocent expression, but this facade soon falls. I burst into laughter, and Yuri purses her lips.

“That was terrible, Michael!”

“You’re such a meanie!”

After that endeavor, we stare out the window again. Seeing the girls both sit down, I think about grabbing a chair as well, but as soon as I begin to step backwards, my eye catches something in the distance. The flash of light from the storm illuminated something. I turn to the girls – both of them seem oblivious to what I just saw, so I wait patiently for another lightning.

“Did you see that?!”

My exclamation wakes Sayori, who jumps up and looks around in adorable confusion.

“Is that another one of your little stun-…”

“No, Yuri! Look!”

I point out the window to the courtyard. It’s impossible to see anything in the darkness, but lightning illuminates the place once again, showing the girls what I saw. Two shadows dart past the gates and run towards the entrance.

“They’re back! Yes!”

Sayori jumps up and rushes out of the classroom, bouncing against a few tables on her way. Yuri soon follows, although she’s a bit more mindful of her surroundings. I would like to run with them, but I feel like my shoulder wouldn’t like that, so I just hobble towards the classroom door, trying not to anger my wound.

I try to get down the stairs as fast as my condition allows me. From the voices I hear on the first floor, it sounds like Sayori has already hugged Monika and Natsuki, both of whom are absolutely drenched. I know this, because I can hear Sayori loudly complain that she’s now wet as well.

Before I get to turn the corner, I see Natsuki rush past me. When she notices me, she makes a little “Ack!” sound in surprise. She looks at me for a few seconds, but as soon as I open my mouth, she starts to run upstairs.

“Natsuki!”

She keeps running.

“Hey! Natsuki! Come ba-…”

“Mike!”

I turn towards the end of the hallway. Monika called out to me. I look up the stairs again, but there is no sight of Natsuki.

“Mike!”

_Damn it!_

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a moment!” I shout back and walk to the three of them.

“What took you so long, Monika?” Sayori asks while dancing around, not being able to contain her excitement.

Monika places my backpack on the ground and takes the one that Natsuki presumably carried. She lifts it up from the floor and throws it to Sayori.

“We did a little detour.”

Sayori grabs the backpack and immediately starts to rummage through it.

“A detour?” Yuri asks, trying not to stare at Sayori, who is now shuffling through the contents.

“Yeah! We decided to look through a few residential houses near downtown,” Monika says, smiling. “We couldn’t access that grid before, but today we got to loot about 5 houses!”

“Wow, that’s great!” I decide to chime in.

Yuri nods in agreement, however, her happiness dissipates when she notices Sayori stuff her face with a chocolate bar.

“Have some decency, Sayori!”

“Buh I’wm wungry!”

Monika laughs.

“It’s okay! You can take all of it upstairs and have your dinner. Just be mindful of others! We still need to ration it for upcoming days.”

Sayori nods and turns to Yuri, handing her a candy bar as well. She hesitates for a second, but then quickly snatches it from Sayori’s hands.

“What about you, Monika?” Yuri asks. “Should we leave you something?”

Monika raises her eyebrow.

“Of course you should leave me _something_!”

Sayori and I giggle.

“N-No! I-I mean…!”

“I know what you meant. I’ll help Mike look through his bag and join you soon, okay?”

Yuri, still red from her face, nods and follows Sayori up the stairs. Meanwhile, I use my chance to grab my backpack, which is quite a bit heavier than I remember it to be. Maybe it was the fact that I foolishly threw it over my injured shoulder, but I groan and drop it immediately.

“Argh! Shit!”

I rub my shoulder and groan in pain. Embarrassment starts to build up as Monika frowns at me.

“Wow. So much for our strong male presence…”

“You know what? This “gentleman” nonsense is overrated anyway!”

Monika chuckles and grabs the bag, heaving it over her shoulder.

“Don’t worry! I can handle it just fine!”

She begins to march up the stairs without a care in the world. It takes me a while for my pride to recover. By the time we get on the third floor, I’m over my embarrassment, and another thing begins to cloud my mind.

“Monika… How’s Natsuki?”

We enter the meeting room. Monika places the bag on the floor and opens the main compartment.

“I saw her after you arrived, but she ran away from me.”

“She’s probably the same way as before.”

“Probably? Don’t you talk about stuff?”

Monika chuckles dryly and looks at me.

“Have you forgotten what Natsuki is like? She doesn’t usually share things that bother her. As a matter of fact, you were the one she talked the most about…”

She sighs and shakes her head.

“You know what.”

I nod.

“You have a point.”

“I really think you should speak to her,” Monika says and pulls out some cereal and canned food. “Although, I would advise you do it after she’s eaten something.”

She’s right. It’s not a good idea to poke a hungry lion with a stick. People get mauled that way.

“Or maybe wait until tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? Why?”

“It’s late, Mike, and we had a pretty eventful looting run.”

“What do you mean?”

Monika places a can of peaches on the table and sighs. She smacks her lips in contemplation.

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. Could you close the door?”

The sudden change in tone startles me, but I comply with her request. Monika supports herself on one of the chairs.

“Michael, did you manage to start the generators in the hospital?”

_What?_

“W-What?!”

“You heard me, Mike! Did you get them running?”

“No! I-I ran outside after I heard you guys!”

Monika rubs her face.

“Why do you ask? What the hell happened?”

After some tense seconds, she begins to explain herself.

“At first we went to the hospital. The sun was still out, so it was hard to see, but as it got darker, it was obvious what was going on.”

I desperately want her to say what she saw, or rather, what she thought she saw, but Monika takes her sweet time to get to the point.

“The hospital had electricity. The lights were on, Mike!”

“The lights?! But I didn’t do anything!”

“Well, it’s obvious that _you_ didn’t! But it seems that after our fight, someone else decided to look around.”

“Someone else?”

I’m basically just parroting back the things Monika says, but it’s the only thing I’m able to do. Wrapping my mind around the stuff she tells me demands a faster processing power than I have right now.

“Yes. It seems like there are new players in town, and they probably got access to the pharmacy,” she says whilst leaning towards me. “I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here and not suspect you of anything.”

“Look, you have to believe me! I don’t know these guys!”

To my relief, Monika nods and leans back again, rubbing her face.

“Yeah, I believe you,” she says with a chuckle. “However, you got to admit, the timing is very damning.”

“It sure is working against me at the moment,” I agree and ruffle my hair. “But did they see you?! Did you see them?”

Monika shrugs.

“We didn’t see them, but I couldn’t be sure they didn’t see us. That’s actually why we took the detour. We hoped to shake them off or lead them in a false direction should they try to follow us.”

“And did they?”

“We didn’t see anything, so my guess is that they didn’t notice us. I mean, why would they? We didn’t go inside. The only thing we did do was grab the bag and book it out of there!”

“Let’s hope for the best then…”

“I fairly certain that they didn’t,” Monika attempts to assure me. “However, we should still be alert.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Two people on lookout _at least_. Maybe even a third one.”

“That’s a sound idea. Starting tonight?”

She shrugs and finally decides to sit on a chair.

“I guess so. It’s supposed to be my shift until morning anyway. The question is, who should be the other person?”

“I can do it,” I say without thinking.

Monika seems skeptical, but doesn’t argue. To be perfectly honest, I am doubtful as well, seeing as I was practically sleeping like fifteen minutes ago. However, it seems like a good idea to begin my contribution to the team. I’m sure I’ll find a way to stay awake.

“If you say so.”

I answer Monika’s expectant look with a determined nod. I then motion towards my bag.

“You got tired all of a sudden?”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“No! I took the stuff that Natsuki and I gathered. It’s your turn now.”

“My turn?”

“Yes, Mike! It’s _your_ stuff. I’m not going to go poking through your belongings.”

“Alright…”

I walk to my backpack and start to take the remaining food items out. I stack different kinds of canned food I’ve scavenged throughout my travels next to the things Monika took out.

“There. That’s all of it,” I say, gesturing at the items. “Be my guest!”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course! You think I’m gonna keep it to myself?”

“I just want to be sure. You can do whatever you want with it.”

“I’m giving it to you,” I say with bewilderment. “That was the whole point of this, wasn’t it?”

“It was, but we got enough from today’s run.”

“Goodness gracious… I forgot how dutiful you can be, Monika.”

She smiles.

“Although the whole world is in chaos, some kind of civility should remain. How else can we continue?” she says with her usual “leader” attitude.

“Sure. Whatever you say,” I answer. “I suppose we should take this stuff to Yuri and Sayori now?”

“Before we do that…,” Monika begins and straightens herself. “I’ve decided. I’m going to do the meeting tomorrow. We should begin discussing the future as soon as possible.”

“You think that’s a good idea? It hasn’t even been a day and we’re doing this?”

“We have food for a week, so we can plan our departure during that time.”

“But we don’t even know where we’re going yet!”

“That’s exactly the thing we will be discussing tomorrow. There are a lot of questions that don’t have answers yet, but I’m confident that during the next few days we have the proper plans thought out.”

“Plans aside, are we gonna discuss the hospital?”

It takes a while for Monika to answer. She seems to battle with her thoughts.

“If we’re going to spill everything, we might as well,” she says slowly. “It’s not the first time we’ve dealt with strangers.”

I remember the interrogation and Monika freaking out about someone coming to find them. Sayori also mentioned that they’ve done this before. Could this be a group they’ve butted heads with in the past? I share my concerns with Monika.

“I don’t think so. The people we’ve questioned have been alone and mostly just passing by.”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty much. We’ve traded with a group before, but, as far as I know, they’ve left the town months ago, and we haven’t seen anyone since.”

“Who were they?”

“It was a seven-man group. They weren’t the nicest people, but, luckily, they didn’t attack us.”

“What do you mean “weren’t the nicest people”?”

“They were demanding,” Monika says with a sigh. “We traded scrap with them. You know, wood and metal – all the stuff we used to reinforce the windows and doors with. At first it was all right, but then they would increase the payment every time.”

“And what did you pay them with?”

“Mostly with food we had in the basement. When it ran out, we stopped trading and… They harassed us for a while.”

Monika notices the worry in my eyes.

“But they’ve left now!” she quickly exclaims. “We’ve been doing extensive searches throughout the city and we haven’t found anyone.”

“Could it be these guys in the hospital are just passing by?”

“Maybe.”

“And you’re sure no-one could come back for revenge? You know, for the “questionings”.”

“Look, Mike. Those people we captured…”

Monika looks past me and her face reflects shame.

“We did… hurt some of them. But after that we set them free! And we did it as discreetly as possible.”

I nod, but Monika’s expression doesn’t change.

“We just wanted to find some food!”

“I get it, I get it!” I say hastily and fall into thought. “I just want to be sure. We can’t go to war with anyone right now.”

Our conversation ends, and we sit in silence for a while. I mull over the stuff she said about hurting these people. It’s really not my place to judge them for it, however much I dislike the idea, but seeing as I met the same fate… It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Not only the act itself, but the fact that everyone is going along with it.

It surely seems a lot has changed for them. They aren’t the innocent-looking girls from high school anymore. They’re survivors, led into desperate acts by an increasingly hostile environment.

We decide to gather the foodstuffs and bring them a couple of classrooms over. Sayori and Yuri sit next to a table now full of different kinds of edible items. Monika’s estimation of week’s worth of supplies seems correct. Sayori and Yuri agree with us and seem quite content with our current situation. They also invite us to eat with them, but we have to decline. They both seem quite disappointed, but none of them ask any more questions. That suits with us, because neither of us wishes to explain our need for double guarding shifts.

Before leaving, I drop off my bag and ask the girls if they’ve seen Natsuki. Yuri says that the girl took her dinner and left for the sleeping quarters. I battle with myself for a few moments, but decide that it’s best to approach her tomorrow, maybe talk to her during her shift. This would give me much needed time to think what I should say to her, for she’s probably the most difficult person to talk to in the group.

Having returned to the classroom we were in before, I pull up a chair and sit down, immediately realizing what a mistake I made. As soon as I sit, I feel my eyelids fall, so in order to keep myself awake I get up again and walk around the area, occasionally glancing at the darkness below. The thunderstorm is still going on strong and the quiet pitter-patter of rain only adds to my sleepiness. Despite that, I keep my head up and continue.

I don’t think I’ve been here for more than 30 minutes when Sayori comes to check up on me. She seems a lot happier than before – full stomach surely having something to do with it. Although, who am I kidding? Sayori’s stomach could never be full.

She sits next to me, luckily choosing my right side. I decide to start the conversation myself.

“Feeling better?”

“Yes!” she says with a smile.

“What did you have?”

“Umm… The can said “Tactical bacon” on it.”

“So, bacon?!”

“I don’t think so. It tasted nothing like it!”

“That’s canned food for ya!” I say with a chuckle.

“Did you get something?”

“Nah. Didn’t feel hungry enough.”

That was a mistake. Not only does she bash me for not eating anything, she jumps up and goes to get me something. I try to stop her, but there is no use. She’s always been more nimble than me.

_That’s great. Nice job, Mike._

Soon enough, she arrives with a box of crackers which she carefully places on the windowsill in front of me. Even though I protest to eating them, she pesters me so much that I relent. As soon as my mouth comes into contact with the salty goodness, I realize how hungry I actually am. Sure, the crackers aren’t as filling as, say “Tactical bacon”, but they get their job done.

“How have you been, Sayori?”

“What do you mean?”

Her face holds an oblivious smile, but I send her a knowing glance.

“I’ve been fine!” she says. “It’s been… difficult sometimes. But Monika has been great help!”

“Difficult?”

“Oh come on, Mike! You shouldn’t worry about me!” she mumbles and looks away.

I raise my eyebrows at her and straighten my posture.

“Let me get this straight, Sayori…”

She knows exactly what’s coming, so she turns red even before I strike.

“It’s all good in the world if you bandage me up, bring me food…”

I gesture at the empty box of crackers.

”And even stare at me while I sleep…”

She resembles a beetroot now.

“But I can’t ask about your wellbeing?”

She places her fingers together and chuckles nervously.

“I didn’t stare at you…”

“Oh no, I’m not so sure about that!”

“Stooop!” she nudges me and whines. “I didn’t! I was asleep! You saw it… You even sneaked out on me!”

“No I didn’t!”

We continue for a while, but I decide to drop my teasing and let her regroup. Not that it ever gets old, but I want to get back to the subject I originally started. To my surprise, I don’t even have to say anything.

“I’m better though! Especially now.”

“That is good to hear. I may have dropped the ball, but I’m ready to return to my duties!” I exclaim and puff my chest forward.

Sayori giggles, but doesn’t say anything.

“In all seriousness…”

I find her blue eyes.

“It’s important to me that you’re feeling well.”

“Come oooon, Mike…”

She squirms and mumbles something. I just smile and return my gaze towards the courtyard.

We sit like this for a while, enjoying the sound of rain and the occasional thunder. The storm is quieting down and one can faintly see the difference in color between the thunderclouds and the clear night sky. Soon enough, there is no thunder to be heard. The only things making sound is the rain and Sayori, who yawns every so often. After the fourth consecutive one, I poke her.

“Go to sleep.”

“Mhh…! No! I’m fine… I just-…”

“Go. To. Sleep. My shift doesn’t end until morning and you’re already dozing off.”

My stern delivery makes her think about my request, however, she still shakes her head.

“But I want to stay here!”

“Yes, but your yawning makes _me_ yawn, and I, contrary to you, _have_ to stay awake!”

“What if I don’t yawn?” she asks cleverly.

“Alright. If you don’t yawn, you can stay.”

I say this with profound confidence. She lifts her fists up and clenches them while forcing her mouth shut with a silly expression. It doesn’t work, of course, because a moment later her mouth opens. Stubbornly, she tries to suppress the inevitable, but this results in her releasing a loud snort. She tries to hide it by slamming her hands on her mouth, but I’ve already burst into laughter. Although I find it hilarious, she starts to pout while crossing her arms.

“I win. Go.”

I point at the door.

“Alright!” she exclaims with a defeated expression.

She slowly stands up, but doesn’t go anywhere. It looks like she wants to say something, so I patiently wait for her to do so.

“Mike?”

“Yes, Sayori?”

She frowns and looks at me.

“Promise you won’t leave me.”

I chuckle, but seeing her serious expression, I quiet down and smile.

“Come on… Of course I won’t leave.”

She answers with a smile and stands there for a while, hesitating. I gesture at the door multiple times, but she keeps dodging my gaze. It takes her a few seconds to start walking towards the door.

“Night, Mike!”

“Goodnight, Sayori.”

I’m left with the rain again. I try to ponder her sudden hesitation, but my mind can’t produce any sound theories, so I just drop it entirely. After a while, my head becomes totally void of any thoughts.

Hours have passed, and I begin to see morning light creep up from the horizon. I let out a yawn and stretch myself, making a louder groan than I wanted to. Luckily, the classroom is quite a ways away from the sleeping quarters, so it’s pretty unlikely that someone heard me. I’m not quite sure who has to cover my shift, so I’m a bit hesitant to leave my post. After a while, however, I decide to do it anyway, mostly due to the fact that I need to use the bathroom.

Upon returning, I discover Monika near the sleeping quarters, looking absolutely exhausted. I decide to ask her about the shifts.

“Oh! Wow, Mike! You scared me!” she manages to say right before yawning. “I woke Yuri up and she agreed to continue your shift.”

“Is that so?”

Monika nods and yawns again.

“Sorry! Yes, she went downstairs to get herself ready.”

“Alright!”

“Oh, one more thing, Mike!”

She turns to me and gestures at the classroom with the food items.

“I took your bag and brought it to the principal’s room. You can sleep there.”

“Sounds good,” I say and smile. “Thank you!”

“No problem! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need some shut-eye.”

When I arrive to the principal’s room, the morning sun has already passed the horizon and blazes its reddish light all over the office. This prompts me to close the blinds. I also clear the couch of any loose bandages and throw the damned fur coat on the chair next to the coffee table. Finally falling on the couch, I stare at the ceiling for a few seconds. I begin to wonder what I’m going to tell Natsuki, but I fall asleep almost instantly.


	6. Natsuki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael reunites with Natsuki.

I jolt awake. At first I don’t realize why, but soon I hear a knock on my door. My head falls on the couch again.

“Jesus Christ…”

I pray that the person knocking would leave. Having gotten over my initial shock, I realize that I would very much like to spend more time asleep. The quiet moment grows ever longer, but it doesn’t last.

“Fucking fuckity-fuck-fuck,” I mumble with stronger irritation than perhaps justified, and push myself up in reaction to another barrage of knocks. “Yes! Come in!”

The door opens. I expect it to be Sayori, but instead I see Monika peek in.

“Ah! You’re awake!”

“I am now!”

She confidently steps inside the room and throws something at me.

“Hey-…!”

I barely catch it. Examining the item, I see that it’s a pristine can of beans. It’s quite awesome to receive breakfast like this, in the bed no less, so I can’t help but stupidly grin to myself.

“It’s not for you, hotshot!”

My disappointment is immeasurable.

“”It’s not for you, hotsh-…”,” I mumble mockingly, but seeing Monika’s reaction, I decide to shut my mouth.

Luckily, I get away with a warning, because it seems like there is something more important on her mind.

“I was wondering if you’d like to take this to Natsuki. I usually bring her breakfast this time of day.”

My good mood is gone in an instant.

“If this doesn’t soothe her then at least you have an excuse to go see her.”

“Sure,” I mutter and rub my forehead. “Oh god…”

Of course, I’m reminded of the frightening task ahead of me. Yesterday I had hoped that I would get some inspiration for what I’m going to say to Natsuki, but I squandered my chance during the night shift, electing to spend it by mindlessly watching the rain.

“What is it?” Monika asks.

“I’m not sure what to say.”

“Come on, Mike!” she scoffs. “It’s not rocket science! You just tell her how you feel.”

“I wish it was that easy.”

“Easy or not, you have to say something.”

_She’s absolutely right. I should have done it much sooner anyway._

After Monika’s departure, I do some stretches and open the blinds. The office fills with warm sunlight, although the air is quite a bit colder than it was yesterday. I don’t take too much time contemplating the weather, instead grabbing my toothbrush and an already dangerously depleted toothpaste packet. Having finished my morning hygiene routine, I head towards the rooftop entrance.

I can’t tell if it’s the message that makes me nervous, or the fact that I need to speak with Natsuki after all this time. I guess I know quite well what message I need to convey, but achieving that is another thing entirely. Although Monika says that talking to Natsuki is not rocket science, I would add that it’s more of an art than science – the latter making it many times worse. Art needs creativity and carelessness, two things that I lack the most. It’s preposterous to think that way, because, as Monika even said, I was the one Natsuki opened up to the most. Alas, things have drastically changed, and my interrogation proves that. Natsuki has never been a violent person. Fair enough, she’s rash, imprudent, impolite, and even a bit scary, but never have I seen such anger in her before.

I climb the stairs leading up to the roof. My heartbeat quickens, and I take a moment to compose myself before opening the door. I decide to do it gently as to not startle her even more, but it looks like she hasn’t noticed the sound at all. At first I’m inclined to believe that there is no-one on the roof, but as soon as I turn the corner, I finally see her on the ledge.

I stare at her for a while. She still hasn’t noticed me, which leaves me ample time to contemplate my opening. It’s quite hard to do as I feel many memories flood back to me.

_We walk out of the movie theater into the brightly lit mall. The movie was quite a blast, and the ending left me with a stupid grin that hasn’t disappeared yet. Of course, most of my amusement doesn’t come from the movie, rather from Natsuki’s attempt at hiding her reddened face. It’s cute as hell, but I would probably be killed if I try to mention it. Instead, I suppress my inner need to tease and clear my throat._

_“Look, there is no way you could’ve known. The title had “thriller” in it!”_

_She doesn’t answer. Her face, if one could believe, gets even redder._

_“Others would have surely enjoyed it.”_

_It doesn’t take._

_“Even if it was a stupid rom-com, it was still enjoyable!”_

_Natsuki stops and turns to me. I’m taken aback as her face doesn’t convey shame or embarrassment… or even anger. It just displays sadness._

_“Hey, come on… It was a-…”_

_“Shut up!” she exclaims, still not looking at me. “Forget about the stupid movie!”_

_I raise my eyebrows and stare at her in shock._

_“Alright. Forgotten.”_

_She crosses her arms and taps her foot as numerous people walk past us. Although we’re kind of in the way, I know full well that it’s better to just patiently wait for her to begin._

_“Did you read the poem?” she asks quietly._

_She scans my face for any reaction._

_“Y-Yes, I did.”_

_I could even tell her that the poem is tucked in the back pocket of my trousers, but that would probably freak her out. She doesn’t say anything, so I decide to take the initiative._

_“I read it and-…”_

_“Not here!”_

_Without another word, she grabs my arm and starts to walk past the crowd towards the exit. I’ve gotten used to her impulsive antics at this point, so it doesn’t come as a surprise._

_The evening traffic has already died down as we make our way through the quiet streets. She leads the trek the entire time, not saying a single word. Soon enough, we arrive at a park where Natsuki finally stops._

_“Everything you need to know… It’s in the poem,” she declares quietly, but her demeanor changes drastically. “So there! Whatever!”_

_I need to throw her a bone. She’s clearly expecting a response._

_“Look, I read it. I-I think it was…”_

_Words get stuck in my throat._

_”I understood what you meant. I feel the same way.”_

_This prompts a reaction. I knew there would be some surprise, but I never imagined that even more profound sadness would follow._

_“Mike… I…”_

_I’ve never seen her like this before. She reminds me of Yuri – calculating each word like it’s a matter of life and death – behavior that couldn’t be farther from her usual self. I wait patiently, but it seems like she has ran aground. Tension is rising as I contemplate on doing something crazy._

_“Natsuki,” I begin, my heart beating out of my chest, “I like y-…”_

_“Don’t say that!” she shouts and steps backwards._

_Not expecting such a response, I suddenly feel something incredibly hard in my chest. It’s starting to hurt._

_“Why?!” I ask with noticeable despair in my voice._

_“I-I can’t! I’m going away soon…”_

_Her explanation is exactly what I feared. I know that she’s been planning this for months now, and she finally got the letter of recommendation from one of the teachers. Her dream of being a chef has never been closer. Her dream of leaving her father behind has never been closer._

_“But I can visit you. We all can!” I plead her. “During winter break, for example! Or even in the middle of the semester! It’s not all set in stone!”_

_Mercilessly, I get shot down._

_“Mike, you don’t understand! I can’t…”_

_Her lip quivers. With every passing second I feel like multiple daggers stab my heart at once._

_“I can’t look back anymore!”_

_She closes her eyes._

_“I want you to b-be there… But you can’t… And I can’t do it like t-this!”_

_It’s getting increasingly hard to keep my composure. For a moment I thought that we finally broke through all the doom and gloom, that we finally had our chance at something amazing and pure. I thought that this would be the time we’d get to leave the past behind… together…_

_Of course, it was all a pipe dream. I already knew that she would leave come summer. It was a silly thought that should’ve stayed as such. But I couldn’t help but hope…_

_“M-Mike…?”_

_I lift my head and answer her gaze. Her pink glistering eyes now convey guilt. Surely, mine tell the same tale. I hate that I made her feel this way, but the moment has disarmed me completely._

_“Argh! This was stupid! I shouldn’t have given you the stupid poem!” she grunts and stomps her feet. “It’s all my fault!”_

_“No.”_

_I finally get some words out. My exclamation came out quieter than expected, so I clear my throat and reach into my back pocket._

_“It wasn’t stupid…”_

_She peeks at me as I fumble with my pockets._

_“In fact, sharing this was… It was incredible!”_

_Trying to smile, I raise the pink paper with my name written on it._

_“Natsuki, if it’s important to you, then it’s important to me…”_

_She glances at the poem a few times before stopping on me._

_“And it doesn’t matter if nothing happens…”_

_It’s a lie, but I can’t possibly tell the truth to her. I can’t admit that I want this more than anything else._

_“Because seeing you like this, breaking free from all that happened…”_

_Her eyes squint as I step closer._

_“And seeing you follow your dreams and be happy? Hell, it’s the next best thing!”_

_Her eyes widen._

_“Everything else is just by-the-way!”_

_I manage to generate a sincere smile. There are so many emotions in her face that it’s hard to say anything definitive._

_“It’s your future. Your chance to begin anew. You know that I’ll support you no matter what… You know that I care about y-…”_

_My monologue gets interrupted. She grabs my collar and pulls me closer._

_For a split second we fly away from this park, away from the worries plaguing us, away from the inevitable sorrow we will feel. For a moment, there is only us and the stubborn breeze trying to blow us apart. But we don’t let it. We desperately cling to each other and this moment, trying to keep ahold of it like a memory that’s ready to be forgotten._

_It’s over as soon as it begun. I still feel the sweet moistness on my lips as she stares at me. I feel like I should say something, but I’m too stupefied to move my mouth or even form coherent thoughts. Her eyes gaze into mine, and I pray that this wouldn’t end._

_She backs off. I open my mouth to say anything, but she starts running. The only thing I’m able to do is look at her go. Nailed shut to the pavement, I clutch the poem in my hand, emotion finally overwhelming me._

She puffs smoke out of her mouth and takes another drag from her cigarette. I finally find the appropriate opening.

“Didn’t know you smoke.”

She yelps and does a 180. As soon as she confirms it’s me, she looks around as if trying to formulate an escape plan. I guess she realizes that the only way she can escape is if she runs past me, so she makes her classic “Mhpf!” sound and crosses her arms.

“I-It’s not nice to sneak up on people like this!”

“You should be more aware of your surroundings then,” I say with a smirk. “You’re the one keeping watch.”

“So, what? You’re here to school me on guard duty?!”

“Nope! I’m here to bring you some breakfast.”

I step closer and hand her the can of beans. She’s hesitant to take it, but she has no other choice as I keep holding my hand up until she does. I stand next to her and take a gander over the cityscape, leaving her some time to get accustomed to the situation. I can almost hear the gears in her head turn as she holds the can in her hands.

“You’re kidding me, right?!”

Whatever I expected, it wasn’t that. I barely get to react when she raises the can to my face.

“You expect me to eat this with my hands or what?”

_Crap! Quick, think of a witty response!_

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. You’re such a capable woman after all…”

Attempting to dodge any responsibility, I smirk and turn back to the view.

“Oh? I am very capable!” she exclaims and throws her cigarette on the ground, stepping on it afterwards. “I’ll prove it to you, dummy!”

Yet again I turn away from the cityscape to see her violently rip off the lid, after which she stares at me expectantly.

“I’m not gonna feed you, Natsuki…”

She stammers and grinds her teeth.

“Eww! I wasn’t thinking that!”

“Well? What’s your grand plan then?”

I cross my arms and wait for her to act. She then reaches for a pouch on her belt, bringing out a small plastic fork. Of course, she proudly presents it to me in all its glory. Her grin is ridiculously wide when she begins digging into her breakfast.

“Wow…”

She quickly chews in order to answer my awe.

“Bet you didn’t see that one coming!”

Realizing the humor, I nod commendably and slow-clap in her direction. She seems very pleased with herself until she realizes the duality of that statement. I, however, have already turned to the beautiful view yet again. I noticed how her face drastically turned, but I decide to indulge in some payback for the attitude she gave me.

I quickly drop that as I see her peek towards my direction. She’s not grinning anymore, and her face reflects the same guilt I’ve seen again and again during these last two days. Thinking back to Monika’s words, namely the part about me “knowing what I have to do”, it’s clear that this is the time to say what I should’ve said a while ago. I try to catch her eyes, but she has decided to ignore me now.

“I don’t blame you.”

She reacts, but quickly turns away.

“Shit happens, you know? Best if we just move on from here.”

Albeit short, I think it gets the message across. I don’t try to pressure her to say anything, so we just stand in silence for a while. Unfortunately, it drags on for some time, and I can feel the tension rising.

“If I knew it was you, I would have never…,” she manages to say, but stops soon after, tapping her foot in frustration. “It was wrong of me, alright!”

Hearing her say that, for some reason, makes me feel better. It’s not like I desperately had to hear it – I’ve made my peace with the situation already – yet hearing Natsuki admit her wrongdoing soothes any remaining ill thoughts that secretly lingered in the deepest crevices of my mind. It’s something I’ve always respected about her, and I can’t believe I’ve forgotten that she had that quality. I guess it’s good to have confirmation that behind all that abrasive attitude is still a girl that holds the same values as her past self. A person who is honest about her actions and can acknowledge that something went wrong. Of course, it’s something that isn’t that obvious when first meeting her, but the more you gain her trust, the more you realize that she’s one of the most genuine people around.

“We had a rough patch, and I lost my cool…”

Her voice gradually tapers off as she still dodges my gaze.

“I understand.”

“I’m glad you’re alive, Mike.”

For the first time I can see her pink eyes peer at me for longer than 5 seconds. A smile so effortlessly creeps up on my face.

“I’m glad you’re alive as well, Natsuki,” I say and extend my hand. “Partners?”

Again, I’m greeted with the “are you serious?” look. My confusion erodes when she moves my hand out of her way in order to hug me.

Although I’ve tried to suppress it, my mind wanders back to when we last met. The same wind that accompanied us in the park guards us now, and I faintly remember the emotions that ran rampant then. The sorrow due to rejection seems so distant now that I’m with her again, however, I can’t feel my heart yearn for her anymore. I suppose it was only a crush, seemingly for the both of us. It’s known to anyone that has ever lived that crushes mean exactly that: inevitably, you’re going to get crushed. After which you move on, looking for another person to make you feel special.

That doesn’t mean that the bond we shared isn’t there anymore. One could say that falling in love was a mistake at this point – something like that should have stayed a friendship – yet feelings don’t work that way. Logic can’t be applied to something that chaotic. Love is always a wild card, no matter how it’s expressed.

“So, you gonna eat that?”

She breaks the hug and rolls her eyes in my direction.

“Because if you’re not, I could really use a bite right about now!”

Like before, I’m greeted with a confident “no”. Not to say that I didn’t expect it, yet it was worth a try. Seeing her stuff her mouth has really got my juices flowing. I’m not sure if it’s the moment that prompts that, or she’s just that merciful, but she offers me a few bites after seeing my clearly disappointed face. I happily take the offer, and we sit down next to the ledge.

As I’m finishing her can of beans, she tells me all about the new manga she has read. Her enthusiasm is on par with how she talked about manga in the literature club. I can’t even get a word in the edgeways, so I just let her ramble on. Despite our one-sided conversation, I feel good about it. It’s nice to see her be the usual Natsuki.

It’s funny that she seemingly reads more than Yuri. I even share that with her when she pauses for a moment.

“Oh, don’t tell me she told you that “I don’t read anymore because the world is much more real now” crap!”

It shocks me how well she mimicked Yuri’s speech. I consider if I should deny her assumption, but I guess my face told her everything she had to know.

“Oh my god! She’s so unbelievably dramatic!”

“Hey, now! I understood what she meant, even though I don’t really agree with her.”

“Get real, Mike! The world has always been a shitshow. This is just a different kind!”

“Now who’s dramatic…”

Natsuki stares at me in disbelief.

“That’s… not at all comparable!”

This sudden change in topic prompts her to dig for her pack of smokes. It takes her some time, but eventually she takes out a cigarette. She catches me staring at her. Hesitating for a moment, she motions the pack in my direction. I shrug and take one as well.

“Didn’t know you smoke.”

“Isn’t that my line?”

Natsuki smirks and takes a lighter from her breast pocket, after which she lights her cigarette.

“Still, I expect an answer!” she demands and watches me try to light mine.

“Answer to what?! You didn’t ask anything!” I say with moderate frustration as I fail to light anything.

Natsuki seems quite amused.

“Weren’t you the one who wanted to become a doctor?” she asks with a mocking tone.

I finally light my cigarette. I take a few drags before answering.

“Yeah? Oh right! Smoking is bad for you!”

She laughs as I demonstratively take another drag. After enjoying that, I finally decide to grant her the explanation she seeks.

“I guess I got my first taste when I was in the capital. You know, for the internship?”

Natsuki nods.

“Our group had a few rebels that got us basically everything we wanted. I wasn’t into it at first, but another girl talked me into it. We kind of tried everything there…”

Although I meant diverse variety of tobacco and alcohol, Natsuki obviously meant something entirely different, which is why she’s holding a wide grin.

“Everything? Oh, I bet you did…”

“Shut up, Natsuki!” I warn her in vain, but she already knows she just found the perfect point to attack.

“So? What did you do, Mike?”

I can feel myself get redder.

“Come on, ladies’ man! What did you do?”

The mocking tone is unbearable, however, I find a perfect chance to counter-attack.

“You know, I’m not really that kind of a guy, Natsuki.”

She scoffs loudly and her grin widens.

“I bet you kissed all kinds of girls there!”

It seems almost too easy. The joyous glee in her voice. She thinks she has won this battle already.

“Nah… Actually, I’ve kissed only one girl,” I say with such carelessness that she almost doesn’t notice it.

“Oh really? Who was sh-…”

_Hook, line, and sinker._

“Ack!”

_Booyah._

Her face is filled with terror. The shock lasts for a few seconds, getting replaced by unbelievable embarrassment.

It takes her a few good minutes to recover from that, but it is all good from there on out. Our conversation drags on for quite some time until we get interrupted by Sayori of all people. She has managed to sneak on the roof without us noticing.

“Hey guys!”

“Oh! Hey, Sayori!” I say and send her a wave. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Monika told me you’d be here. She wanted to tell you both that she wants to do a meeting in ten minutes.”

“A meeting?” Natsuki asks.

“Yeah! It seemed awfully important…”

“What do you mean?” she asks again.

“I don’t know. She looked serious. Maybe we’re going to talk about the food problem again?”

I somehow catch Natsuki’s gaze. It’s seems like she knows what Monika has planned.

“So yeah! I guess that’s it!”

Sayori smiles and quickly turns around. Before she manages to leave the roof, I shout to her to wait for me. Natsuki seems surprised by my sudden choice to depart, so I explain that I need to check something before the meeting. I get up and take a jog towards Sayori, who waits for me near the roof entrance. Before entering the stairwell, I wave at Natsuki who answers with a lazy swipe at my general direction.

“Sorry for interrupting you two,” Sayori utters quietly as we step out of the dark stairwell.

“What are you sorry for?” I ask her with a confused smile. “We would’ve had to come down anyway! It’s not like we can let Monika wait for us.”

“I don’t know,” she drags on. “You seemed to have a good time…”

“It’s not your fault. You’re just the messenger.”

She looks only slightly happier when I said that. I think about different things I could say to assure her that I’m not at all annoyed, but she cuts my thought process off.

“Sooo… Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, actually!”

“What did you talk about?”

Sayori waits patiently as I try to remember what our conversation was actually about.

“Nothing, really. We mostly just reconnected,” I say, in order to give at least some kind of an answer.

She seems satisfied with that, however, she then points at my eye.

“Did you talk about that?”

“I just assured her that I don’t blame her.”

“That’s great!” Sayori says and her smile widens. “It’s nice of you to tell her that. She’s been worrying about it a lot, and I hope she’ll lighten up now!”

“Yeah, me too. I think she took it well.”

There’s a slight silence, but I break it with a chuckle.

“You know, it seems like I’ve said that for a millionth time…”

“Said what?”

“That whatever happened, happened. That we should move on from this. That I don’t blame you guys. Repeating that over and over… I sound like such a fool.”

Sayori falls into thought. She then smiles again and tilts her head.

“Mike, sometimes you just have to repeat certain things. Maybe it’s not for others, but for you!” she playfully points a finger towards me as she says that. “Maybe you need to repeat it, because one day you might start to believe it!”

Her astute reflection of the situation really resonates with me, but I notice some subtext almost immediately. She quickly realizes the sudden heaviness of the conversation, so she swiftly comes up with a distraction.

“Soo… What did you want to check?”

I’m brought back to reality. I notice that we’re already in the hallway right next to the meeting room. After some unintelligible mumbling, I point back towards the principal’s office.

“I wanted to get a map from my backpack and show it to everyone. Maybe it’ll come in handy during the meeting.”

She accepts my explanation, although I’m not sure she really cares about that. There seems to be something else on her mind.

“Do you want to join me?” I offer, but she shakes her head.

“Not right now, Mike. I need to speak with Monika about something.”

“Monika? Did something happen?”

“N-No! I just…”

It’s her turn to scramble for an explanation now. After a few seconds, her eyes light up, signaling that she found a decent one.

“About food… Yes! I wanted to ask her about the rationing!”

She giggles and dodges my gaze. It’s obvious that she’s hiding something, but I decide not to press on.

“Alright. We’ll see at the meeting then?”

She nods happily and claps her hands together.

“Yeah! See you!”

She turns and starts to walk towards the meeting room.

“Hey, Sayori!”

I almost regret opening my mouth. This was not thought out at all, yet as she turns her head, I realize I have no other choice but to commit.

“You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Her mouth stays agape for a few seconds. She then chuckles while keeping her sight on the wall next to me.

“Of course, silly!”

Without another word she turns around again. I watch her enter the meeting room.

I make my way to the principal’s office. As I’m walking, multiple thoughts invade my mind. I don’t know if I imagined it, but I could have sworn I saw the same sad glare in Sayori’s eyes that’s all too familiar to me already. Entering the room, I quickly walk up to my backpack in order to search for the map. Even though I try to ignore these intrusive thoughts, they wash over me like an inevitable wave of nausea.

Having found the map, I take a seat on the coffee table to gather my thoughts. I give in to the curiosity and wonder what Sayori may be hiding. Of course, I immediately think back to the days before and after the festival. That’s when she had her worst days with her depression. The terror and panic I felt during the fateful night are still deeply engrained in my mind, and it’s hard not to think about the worst possible reason for her behavior now. Months leading up to the exams were relatively carefree for her, and on the days that I saw her, which was basically every day, she seemed the happiest she had ever been. It seemed like therapy had helped her a lot, which is why I’m so concerned about her. There’s no chance for the same treatment right now, not to mention the fact that the world is much more hostile in every way imaginable. The situation has taken its toll on everyone, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it has affected Sayori the most.

I may be overreacting though. It might be nothing. For all I know it could be that she’s just having a bad day. However, it doesn’t hurt to keep an eye on her.

I glance at the map in my hands and scoff. My idea was to check for any suitable destinations we might consider for our travels, but I feel like the time is up already. A quick stretch and a yawn help me build up the needed willpower to finally stand up. I pocket the map and leave the office.

At the meeting room door I send a barrage of knocks their way, after which I get greeted by Monika’s muffled voice.

“Come in!”

I open the door and peek in.

“You sure?”

“Yes, Mike. Are the others coming as well?”

I manage to shrug, but get startled by Natsuki’s grouchy voice immediately after.

“Hey, dummy! Get the hell out of the way!”

Although I’d like to snap back, it would just be a pointless waste of time. Instead, I opt for a more neutral response.

“Jeez… Alright, princess!”

I step out of her way and take a seat at the right side of the table. Sayori, noticing my pick, decides to plop right next to me. Natsuki sends me some mocking looks and takes a seat across the table.

“Is Yuri he-…”

“Yes, Monika, I’m here,” we hear from the doorway. Yuri steps in and straightens herself. “Am I late?”

“Oh, no! Not at all! Please, take a seat!”

Yuri stalls for a second, seemingly unsure where she should sit, but after she sees Natsuki usher her on a chair next to her, she nods and sits there.

Monika seems to be busy with some papers she has laid out on the table, so while she’s figuring those out, I get a chance to look at the group.

Yuri waits patiently for Monika, holding a fairly neutral expression. Natsuki has already become bored and holds her face up with considerable difficulty. Glancing at Sayori, I realize that she was already staring at me. She quickly turns away, but it’s fairly obvious, and her face turning red at my laughter seems to confirm my suspicion. Strangely, I see Monika frown at me, but it’s so momentary that it might have been my imagination.

All of this gets pushed in the back of my mind as everyone’s attention completely turns towards Monika. The latter has finished shuffling with her papers and now looks at all of us. The room is silent. Monika then sends us a warm smile indicating that she’s ready to begin. For the first time in ages, I feel like I’m finally home. She raises up her finger and jovially utters her classic catchphrase…

“Okay, everyone! Let’s begin!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,
> 
> Firstly, I’d like to thank all of you for tuning in. It’s been really heartwarming to get your reactions to my work. I never thought that it would get so much attention.
> 
> Secondly, I’d like to talk about the future. I’ve decided that “21 hours, 6 minutes” will be divided into several acts. Act 1 ends with the final chapter called “Preparations”, which will be finished in a few months time. Act 1 is meant to focus heavily on mapping out the characters and set the scene for Act 2. The latter, as opposed to Act 1, is going to be quite a bit heavier and more action packed. There’s going to be drama, conflicts, new characters, and new settings to explore.
> 
> Thirdly, a little update from my personal life. In a week I’ll begin my mandatory military service, so I won’t have that much free time to focus on writing. That doesn’t mean that this project will be put on a halt. It just means that it takes me longer to release new chapters. I promise to give you the fulfilling ending I have planned, and I hope you’ll have faith in me.
> 
> Stay safe out there!
> 
> \- Orion


	7. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Members of the literature club spend their final days in the school before the departure.

“Today we have quite a lot on our agenda, and I hope that we can discuss these topics as thoroughly as possible!” Monika says as she looks at each of us with an optimistic smile. “But first, I’d like to officially welcome Michael back to our midst!”

The sudden shift of attention catches me by surprise, as does Monika’s declaration. I feel like this act was a bit redundant as I’ve been here for two days already. Sure, I haven’t been to their meetings, but it still feels silly.

We all know Monika has a habit of exaggerating such things – during the times we had our festival meetings, she liked to use a lot of formalities. When Natsuki asked about that, she’d tell us about her time in the debate club where such attitude was mandatory. We all had a feeling that she enjoyed it though, because she would continue with the same charade throughout the schoolyear. None of us had anything against it. It’s just one of those things you notice from time to time.

They’re all looking at me. Before I get to react, Monika continues. Her face isn’t that joyous anymore.

“I know that our reunion came at a steep price, and the actions leading up to it are rather regrettable.”

I feel even more embarrassed than before. She didn’t have to bring that up again.

“We made some mistakes. Mistakes that can’t be fixed.”

It’s obvious everyone still feels unease. Thankfully, none of them look at me anymore.

“I’m deeply sorry for everything that happened,” Monika says, now looking at me. “Two days ago we all felt terrifying uncertainty that unfortunately led us astray. But I hope that we can leave it all behind and focus on our future.”

I nod to her, but it seems like it isn’t enough.

“Would you like to say anything, Mike?”

I gulp. I’m not really sure what I should say. It feels like everything has been said already.

I stammer with my words, and with every second I feel myself get more stuck. However, something breaks me free from it. I feel Sayori’s hand on my shoulder. She smiles and jerks her head as if motioning me to speak. Feeling my face curve into a smile, I look at the girls one by one.

“I’d like to say that I don’t care about anything that happened. I’m just glad to be with my friends again,” I say with my newfound courage. “Thank you for welcoming me, Monika!”

Her smile tells me she’s pleased with my address to the group. Natsuki, although having been bored just minutes before, holds a rare sincere smile as well. Yuri nods, keeping herself more restrained than Sayori, who almost bounces in her seat and giddily tugs my shoulder. I actually have to whisper her to stop, because both Natsuki and Yuri smirk at us.

“Alright!” Monika continues, and drops a slight chuckle of relief. “Now that that’s out of the way…”

She uses the momentary pause to get everyone’s attention again.

“The future… I’m sure all of you are already familiar with our situation. We’re running dangerously low on supplies, and there aren’t many places left to loot. We could try the mall again, but as we have previously experienced a lot of difficulties even entering the downtown area, I feel like we should cut our losses and move on.”

It’s clear that she has put a lot of thought into this meeting. Her articulation is on point and gives a soothing vibe. I can’t help but think how suitable she is for her role as the leader of this group.

“That means leaving this town.”

She sends a concerned gaze over the group.

“I know it may be hard to think about this, and it might seem scary, but this is why we’re going to discuss it together. As a team.”

I catch her eyes and nod to her in encouragement. She smiles and raises her head.

“I suppose I haven’t been as straightforward with you as I should’ve been, but today things are going to change. The first thing we’ll discuss is the hospital.”

Monika proceeds to tell us about the probability of another group. This garners concerned looks from both Yuri and Sayori. Natsuki’s expression stays largely unchanged.

“D-Did you actually see anyone or is it just speculation?” Yuri asks Monika.

“Seeing as none of us activated the generators, it’s more than likely that it was someone else.”

“Why do we need to go there in the first place?” Sayori pipes up. “Can’t we just leave it be?”

I look towards Monika in order to see if she allows me to take the floor. After getting confirmation, I begin.

“The medical supplies we could get from the hospital are vastly superior to anything we’d find in a regular pharmacy.”

“Most of the stores as well as these regular pharmacies are mostly emptied out. I’m sure Natsuki can vouch for me on this one,” Monika adds, and the girl nods in response. “If we don’t stock up and something happens during our travels, we would have nothing. As much as I hate to admit it, I think raiding the hospital is a must.”

Despite agreeing with Monika just moments before, it’s Natsuki’s time to raise doubts.

“But we know exactly nothing about these so called “others”! Do we just go there and pray they’ll be friendly with us?”

Monika sighs and looks at my direction. A clear signal for help, so I decide to draw some fire.

“We don’t have a strategy yet-…”

Natsuki cuts me off, totally ignoring my input.

“What are you asking us?”

Monika looks slightly disturbed, but pushes on with relative calmness.

“I’m asking what you think about this.”

“Well, I think it’s risky!”

Yuri raises her hand. Monika notices that and gestures her to speak.

“Monika… If I may… Are you saying that we would be returning there today? Because if we wait for a few days, then maybe they have already left.”

“That’s a good point, Yuri. I didn’t plan on going there so soon anyway. However, there may be a slight chance that they see the hospital as a good base of operations, which means contact with them regardless.”

“In any case, we need to be extremely careful,” I warn them. “Our entrance has to be covered and we should have multiple backup plans.”

It seems like they all understand the need for sterile bandages, antibiotics, and surgical kits, as there is little argument against going to the hospital. Our situation is more complicated due to the unfavorable geographical location, as our hometown is far away from any big cities – the closest one being a few hundred miles away.

With that conundrum acknowledged, Monika decides to end this discussion, assuring us that she’ll figure out a suitable approach for the mission, hopefully with my help. I happily oblige as I probably know the layout better than anyone in the group.

She then opens up another topic: our next destination.

“I think the best place for us is the capital,” she says and pauses briefly in order to get a reaction. “We don’t know much about the situation outside our town, although we do know that every major city along with the capital was hit by the outbreak. There is a possibility that they took it the best, considering the military base a few miles away.”

I was okay with her plan until I heard the word “military”. Remembering what happened during the exam day still gives me unwavering anxiety. Unfortunately for me, everyone stays silent, seemingly being okay with the plan. Yet I assumed wrong, because as soon as I begin to voice my concerns, Yuri steps in.

“U-Um… I-I don’t think that’s quite true, Monika.”

She exhales and closes her eyes, trying to prepare herself for the argument. Monika encourages her to continue, even though she’s facing imminent criticism.

“I-I personally think that we should go to the DCHQ,” she says and pauses for a moment, but continues swiftly as she sees Natsuki’s and Sayori’s confused expression. “S-Sorry! That is Disease Control Headquarters! I think our main goal should be finding out more information about the outbreak.”

Yuri’s proposition garners some backlash from Monika. She is apparently very fond of her plan to hopefully find a safe-zone. Her arguments regarding safety, shelter, community, and food access are extremely convincing, but my skepticism is unshakeable. Surprisingly, Yuri fights back with astonishing persistence, repeating the importance of getting further information on the outbreak, as well as indicating that the likelihood of the most populated city surviving the brunt of the outbreak, with or without military intervention, is highly unlikely. Sayori tries to mediate by saying that we could visit both of those places, but that’s not a good solution, as the capital and the DCHQ are in totally different directions.

“Alright. What do the others think?” Monika gestures towards Sayori, Natsuki, and me, having come to an impasse with Yuri.

As the two girls stay silent, I begin to explain my stance on the matter. I’m careful not to include too much information, but I make it clear why I don’t trust anything that has to do with the military. The girls listen as I enlighten them about the shootings that took place during the lockdown. Like I imagined, their faces contort into shock.

I finish describing the appearances of the masked men and give the girls time to digest this new information. Weirdly enough, the first reaction doesn’t come from Monika, Yuri, or even Natsuki, but rather Sayori, who tenderly nudges me to get my attention beforehand. She looks absolutely terrified.

“But aren’t they supposed to help us?” she sheepishly asks. “Aren’t they supposed to protect the people?”

“They are… Or rather, they were supposed to. I don’t exactly know what happened, but I do know that I’m not willing to take any chances.”

“I don’t understand. Why?!” Natsuki asks. “Why would they do that? It’s so stupid…”

“I really don’t know, Natsuki. I me-…”

I’m unable to finish my thought, because Yuri cuts in.

“They’re p-pro-… Oh! Goodness! I’m sorry, Michael!”

She covers her mouth in embarrassment, but I motion her to continue.

“T-They were probably trying to limit the spread of the infection,” she says rather calmly, yet her eyes widen in horror immediately after. “I-I’m not saying it’s a good thing or anything! It’s a horrible method, sure… b-but it makes s-sense.”

“It makes sense? _It makes sense?!_ What the fuck, Yuri? How on earth does killing innocent students in hundreds make sense?” Natsuki spits at Yuri, eyes lit up in rage. “Didn’t you hear what Mike said? They didn’t even test anyone!”

Both Yuri and Natsuki stare at each other with anger. Letting the situation resolve itself would be a sound idea, however, noticing Yuri’s face, I can tell that the girl is scrambling for a comeback. I decide it’s time to step in before everything gets out of hand.

“Look, Natsuki, it actually does make sense however cruel it sounds. I suppose they were desperate to put a stop to whatever this is,” I sigh and rub my forehead. “I mean, look what happened! Even that wasn’t enou-…”

“Are you seriously trying to defend their actions? You were there! You saw it!”

“I’m not trying to defend anything,” I tell her calmly. “I’m just saying that there’s no need to blow up at Yuri. She’s probably right.”

Natsuki gulps and peeks at Yuri, who is now nervously playing with her hair.

“Gnh! Damn it!” Natsuki shouts and exhales sharply. “I-I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Sorry…”

Luckily, Yuri takes Natsuki’s apology, and we can resume our discussion.

“I hate to say this, but I think there’s no way that place is still standing,” I address Monika. “The way this virus spread here should be proof enough that a city with that dense of a population couldn’t have fared well.”

Monika, clearly disappointed in the unfavorable outcome, lowers her head and sighs. I feel slightly guilty, because it seems like we’re all ganging up on her.

“Well, what do Sayori and Natsuki think?” she asks and turns to them.

Natsuki is the first to answer.

“I think the disease-whatever is a way better choice than the capital!” she proclaims and crosses her arms. “At least there is a possibility of getting some answers there! Need I remind you all that we don’t know shit about the infected? That we don’t know what goes around in other countries? In fact, we have no idea how bad all of this is in any other cities!”

She clears her throat.

“Like, maybe they have some clues? Right, Yuri?”

Yuri is a bit taken aback by Natsuki’s sudden need for affirmation.

“T-There is a remarkable possibility that the people in DCHQ are still alive and… even working on a cure.”

“I suppose you’re also against going to the capital, Sayori?”

Monika supportively smiles at Sayori, but it does little to get her to voice her ideas. She’s never been one to take a strong stance, especially if it means picking one of the girls’ sides. She smiles uncomfortably and looks at me for support.

“Don’t look at me, Sayori! Monika asked _you_.”

She purses her lips and squirms in her seat.

“Sorry, Monika…”

It’s four to one. Monika nods and smiles, but I can’t tell if it’s faked or not.

“That’s it, then. After raiding the hospital, we’ll depart for DCHQ.”

Although we managed to successfully figure out our future destination, there is still the problem of logistics. We have quite a lot of stuff each of us wants and needs to bring with them: food, clothes, and weapons, not to mention the medical supplies we would get from the hospital. I’m also quite certain that there are some personal belongings each of us wants to take as well. This all means that we would be severely over-encumbered if we travel on foot.

Natsuki proposes jacking a car, but that idea gets shot down by both Monika and Yuri, who remind her that they have tried to do it already, but none of the cars seem to work. I try to persuade them to think about reducing their baggage in order to travel on foot, bringing up the argument of increased mobility, yet my request falls on deaf ears. Sayori then suggests something revolutionary.

“What about bikes?” she asks after a quite long bout of silence. “We have a lot of ground to cover until we reach the disease center. If we pick good bikes, we would have both speed and mobility!”

She looks at us with her signature “Eureka!” expression that she gets every time she thinks she has a great idea.

“Holy shit, Sayori!”

Natsuki seems really amazed, but Yuri not so much.

“Where would we get these bikes? I-I mean… The closest shop is in downtown and that place is inaccessible.“

„Look outside!” Natsuki says and points out of the window. “The courtyard is littered with all kinds of bikes! We can pick any one of them!“

Sayori nods and beams at Yuri.

„And we don’t have to worry about locks!“

„How so?“ Monika asks.

„Well… ehehehe,“ Sayori pushes her fingers together and looks away in embarrassment. „When I just started high school, I used to ride my bike to school. One day I locked it and spent the entire day at school without worry, unaware that I didn’t bring my key with me…“

„And you had to ask mr. Odo for help,“ I finish Sayori’s sentence.

I remember that day very well, however, there’s a slight discrepancy with her story. She didn’t actually forget to bring her key with her. She just lost it somewhere in the school, meaning that anyone who found the key would have been able to take her bike and stroll off with it. This is why she asked our school’s janitor for help. When the end of the day arrived, he brought out this huge-ass tool, which was able to cut through most bike locks with relative ease.

„Maybe I actually lost it,“ she says. „You have a better memory than I do.“

„So you’re saying that if we get the bolt-cutter, we’ll be able to break the bike locks with it?“ Monika asks.

„Yes!” Sayori exclaims. “And I’m pretty sure it’s downstairs in the maintenance room!“

„All we have to do is find a way in there.“

Sayori nods to Monika.

„It seems like we have found our destination and the means to get there,“ Monika concludes. „I suppose we should begin with the preparations.“

I raise my hand to catch Monika’s attention.

„I can deal with the bikes. They probably need some tinkering with, seeing as they’ve been out in the open for almost a year now.“

„I can help!“ Natsuki shouts, and her face contorts into a smug smirk. „In fact, I already have some ideas on how we can carry even more stuff!“

„That’s very good, Natsuki! I’ll be thinking about how we should approach the hospital situation. I hope Mike can give me a helping hand here.“

I nod to Monika, who then turns to Yuri.

„Would you be so kind and check how many medical supplies we have and how much stuff we need from the hospital? It would be great if we knew exactly what to look for once we get there.“

„Of course, Monika. I can do that,“ Yuri complies.

„Sayori, your task is to manage our food until we depart. Also, remember that we need at least 2 day’s worth of food for the trip itself!“

„But Monika!” Sayori whines. “When will we depart? We didn’t discuss that!“

„Well, my plan is that we take about three days for preparations, and raid the hospital after the fourth day. Then we begin our journey.“

Sayori nods and looks upwards, as if trying to make a mental note of the information gathered. After specifying some smaller details, our meeting is adjourned. Despite that, Sayori remains at the door.

„Mike? Can I talk to you for a second?“

„Don’t take too long,” Monika warns me. “The sooner we get it done the better.“

I assure her that it’ll be quick. I follow Sayori out of the meeting room.

“What’s up?”

Sayori slowly closes the door.

“I was just wondering if you’d like to talk a bit in the evening.”

“Yeah, of course. Talk about what?”

She shrugs.

“I don’t know! I mean… It’s nothing important! I just wanted to…”

I wait for her to continue, but it seems like she can’t find the right words.

“…Reconnect, maybe?” I ask her, to which she eagerly nods.

“You could put it like that!”

“Alright! Sure! When does you shift end?”

“Usually when the sun sets. Then it’s Yuri’s turn.”

“I guess I’ll find you after that! I’m not sure how long this will take,” I say and motion at the meeting room. “It’s a good chance a couple of hours at least. Who knows, maybe we’ll manage to fix up the bikes today as well?”

I think about all the stuff we have to accomplish in three days. The mere thought of that leaves me strained already.

“I’ll have to ask Natsuki about that…”

Sayori detects the feebleness in my voice.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be ready in no time!”

We stand in silence for a while. Her encouraging smile quenches any doubts I have for the future.

“Oops! I think I should get going now!” she suddenly says. “Ehehehe… Good luck, Mike!”

I tell her my goodbyes. For some reason, I can’t help but look at her as she skips so carelessly towards the rooftop entrance. In fact, it seems like I completely zoned out. When she’s about to turn the corner, she looks back for a second, and even though I’m half-blind, I still see her surprised expression. It turns into a joyful smile soon after. She waves at me, and I awkwardly wave back.

I shake my head and slap my face a couple of times before entering the meeting room yet again. Monika greets me with forced patience.

“Are you ready now?”

“Yes. Let’s get to it.”

It takes us about 4 hours to come up with an elaborate solution on how to enter and exit the hospital as safely as possible. Monika finds some copy paper and asks me to describe the layout to a specific section of the building. Although my memory is a bit hazy, I think I manage to do a decent job of remembering where the most important hallways are. She then sketches key points on paper, after which we discuss the best ways to approach them.

We determine that the best course of action would be for me to lead the mission. Despite her objections, I manage to convince her that I’m the best choice as I’m the most comfortable with sneaking around. She does remind me that they managed to find me quite easily in the hospital, yet after asking her if she’d like to appoint anyone else to lead the raid, she goes quiet. Neither of us wants to put the other club members in harm’s way.

After formulating the plans with Monika, I go to search for Natsuki. I figure that she’s probably in the break room catching up on her new manga, but I’m mistaken. I find her in the sleeping quarters, quietly dozing away. She raises a ruckus for waking her up, but calms down when I tell her I need some help with the bikes.

We quickly discover that even though we found the maintenance room, the door leading into it is firmly locked. It doesn’t matter how much we kick it or fiddle with the lock, the door stays closed. I deduce that we need something to break either the door or the lock, but Natsuki shoots down both of those ideas, saying that they don’t have tools to do that. It’s quite funny to think that the tools we need to get access to the room are probably the ones inside it.

It takes us an hour to realize that there is another way to gain access. In our high school, the lockers, where students could put their overcoats, are on the basement floor. This part of the school was usually “guarded” by a lovely old lady named “Mrs. Copperbottum”. Despite her unfortunate and suggestive name, she was universally liked, mostly because of her lax attitude towards tardy students and general lovely nature. Mrs. Copperbottum usually stayed in a small office-like cabin outside the coatroom. I remember that I’ve had to ask her help quite a lot when I’d forgotten my own locker keys home, and she would always come to the rescue. This is the basis of my theory – maybe she had more than locker keys in her office? The idea is quite far-fetched, but it’s worth a shot.

We find a keychain in her cabin which contains a lot of different keys, so it takes us some time to enter the maintenance room. When we finally open it, we see that the room is bigger than we imagined. I thought it would be on par with a broom closet, yet instead, it reminds me of a small classroom. It doesn’t take us long to find the tool we are looking for, but there is more useful stuff in there to loot. In short, Natsuki and I both get brand new weapons in the shape of fire axes, which we immediately fit for our liking. We also find a pristine portable tire pump, pick up some nails in case Monika wants to deck out her baseball bat, take some excess rubber and glue in case we need to repair the tires, grab a bottle of grease for the bike chains, find some headlamps, and a few leather suitcases. The latter are taken on Natsuki’s volition.

We take the bolt-cutters outside. Even though the sun is out, it’s still bitter cold, and I really regret my choice of not taking my gloves with me. It looks as though Natsuki is cold as well, although, as is her nature, she tries her best to hide it.

We find the bike racks and proceed to walk around them while looking for the best choices. Most of the cycles are hybrids or road bikes, and although a few are in good condition, picking them over mountain bikes is foolish. I still stand by my argument of mobility, and mountain bikes would give us a chance to head off road should we need to.

Soon enough, we manage to single out the best choices. Natsuki is eager to try to break the locks herself, but despite giving her absolute best, she fails miserably. I don’t have much luck as well, seeing as my shoulder hurts terribly when I try to apply too much force. This means that I have to resort to other tactics, like placing the tool on the ground and smashing the two handles together with my foot. After a few tries, I successfully break the first lock.

I take a breather because of my aching shoulder, and Natsuki goes inside to get something warmer to wear. When she comes back, she discovers that I have already managed to break the other two locks, leaving us with the final two. Luckily, dealing with those doesn’t take too long, and we can bring the bikes inside. It isn’t much better temperature wise, but it’s still cozier to be inside where the wind doesn’t blow right at us.

This is where the fun starts. The bikes are mostly functional, but the elements had ravaged them pretty hard. This means that we have to tighten and grease the chains as well as pump all the tires. Natsuki proves to be a valuable asset in assisting me with the chains – she knows exactly what to do to tighten them. I have never done something like that, so it’s really embarrassing to see a girl one-up me like that. As usual, she keeps reminding me that throughout the evening, but soon enough, even she is stumped. We discover that three of the tires don’t keep any air in, meaning that it’s a good chance they’re broken. I already predicted that when I grabbed the rubber strips from the maintenance room, but I hoped that we wouldn’t need them. I don’t know how to fix the tires and neither does Natsuki.

While Natsuki greases the chains, I sit down and try to figure out the extent of damage to the tires. This proves to be exceedingly difficult as I have to pump a tire full multiple times in order to determine where the damaged part is located. Long story short, it takes me many tries, quite a few cigarettes, and lots of swearing to even find the holes.

Natsuki, having finished her job long ago, waits restlessly for me to finish. She has already exhausted all her manga talk and looks increasingly bored. I tell her that she can leave anytime, but she decides that it would be fun to watch me fail. Although it irritates me ever so slightly, I don’t actually mind the company, seeing as it’s incredibly boring to do the same thing over and over again.

But finally the moment had dawned. All the work… Leading up to this. I put the tire back to its original place and connect the pump.

“Alright!” I turn to Natsuki and excitedly rub my hands together. “You better pray that this works.”

“What the hell are you waiting for?! Let’s get this done!”

“Don’t you like the suspense?” I smirk at her, but she grunts and crosses her arms.

“No? I’d like to call it a day already!”

I chuckle and begin pumping. Natsuki occasionally presses on the tire to check the resistance. Soon enough, she raises her hand and I stop, after which I disconnect the pump and screw on the valve cap.

“I _really_ hope this works…”

“At least we all know who’s to blame when it doesn’t…”

“Alright, you little…,” I begin, but seeing her face turn red in anger, I stop myself before it’s too late. “It is beyond me why you didn’t help me with this!”

“Hey! I basically did all the work for you, dummy!”

“Ah, I see! Seeing as I’m so useless around here, would you like to deal with the remaining tires?”

She stammers with her words a bit and looks away. I take a seat against the wall.

“That’s what I thought,” I say, gesturing at the bike. “Anyway, we’ll see if it holds.”

“It’s a good sign that it hasn’t flattened already,” Natsuki says and sits next to me. “I didn’t expect that.”

“It’s so rare to hear you put faith in me once in a while.”

My mocking tone doesn’t go unnoticed.

“I wouldn’t get used to it!”

We sit in silence for a few minutes. I notice that even though Natsuki was in such a hurry to finish this, she doesn’t seem that eager to get up, which is why I decide to strike up a conversation.

“So, what do you think about leaving this place?”

“I think I said everything during the meeting…”

“You only said that you didn’t like the idea of going to the capital.”

“Yeah? What else do you want to know?”

“Doesn’t it feel a bit scary?”

I immediately regret my word choice, but it looks like she doesn’t have any desire to mock me anymore. This gives me courage to continue.

“I just feel like I’m going to miss this place. There’s a huge chance we will never come back.”

Things have changed drastically since I galloped around the hospital. Meeting my best friends after being in isolation for so long has given me some normalcy in life – a little glimpse into the past, when things were a lot simpler – and it feels hard to let go of that.

“I don’t know,” Natsuki mumbles. “I think I’m actually looking forward to it.”

“Why?”

The dim light emanating from the lantern she previously brought only barely lights her face. Her mouth curves into a smile.

“I remember Monika going to the…,” she turns to me and snaps her fingers. “What was it? Some kind of a study competition?”

“Oh yeah! They flew her all the way to Arizona for that!” I exclaim and laugh. “Jesus, they never knew what was coming.”

Natsuki joins in and we reminisce about how Monika single-handedly clowned on the entire population of a partner high school.

“Anyway, I remember when she talked about all the places she visited there.”

“So you’d like to go on a sightseeing trip?”

The way she crosses her arms tells me that she doesn’t appreciate my comment.

“I know it sounds stupid when you put it that way!” she quickly utters, but her hostility vanishes immediately. “But I’ve always thought about visiting the Grand Canyon!”

And not only the Grand Canyon. She goes on and on about different points of interest, some of which I’ve never even heard of before. It’s really weird seeing her eyes light up so bright to something other than manga, and I have a theory that she’s never really been outside our hometown before. She confirms my suspicion after I ask her about it.

“My father never had the money to go on a vacation. Not that he ever wanted to. He would spend it all on alcohol instead…”

The contempt in her voice is so bitterly obvious that I realize what a mistake I made by asking her this question.

“I think it would be sick!” I say enthusiastically, trying to steer the topic towards a more lighthearted route. “Visiting the Grand Canyon, as you said!”

“Really?”

“Totally! Do you imagine all of us there, enjoying the sunset?”

I whistle and shake my head.

“I’m getting chills just by thinking about it!”

“Oh my god! You’re such a fuddy-duddy…”

“Shut up!”

She laughs and grabs her pack of cigarettes. I notice that she has only three left, but, nevertheless, she offers me one.

“We should really think about it, you know?”

She throws me a lighter and puffs some smoke out.

“I’m not sure Monika would agree,” she scoffs. “It’s not like it brings us any closer to a safe-zone.”

“Maybe it does. It’s possible there are communities in the south.”

“Yeah, but getting there would take a lo-o-ong time. We have a lot of ground to cover.”

“But still, it’s important to have dreams like this,” I say, leaning my head against the cold tile wall. “These are the only things keeping us sane.”

After some silence, I shake myself awake. I notice Natsuki peering at me under her bangs.

“What’s your dream?”

“That’s… a tough question.”

“Well, you should stop avoiding it then!”

“Alright, alright,” I mutter in defeat. “I want to survive.”

“That’s original!” she scoffs and rolls her eyes. “It’s not like every human in the world wants to stay alive…”

“Hey, you asked! Isn’t surviving enough?”

“No? It’s basic and boring! Surely you have _something_ else on your mind…”

Her eyes drill into me. Maybe there is something else after all.

“This may sound childish…,” I begin after taking time to think. “But I’d like to go to Europe.”

Natsuki’s puzzled expression stays but a minute, quickly changing into her classic smirk after.

“And I thought the Grand Canyon was far!”

“Yeah,” I chuckle dryly and nod. “Not a big chance that happens, right?”

“Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you want to go there?”

I contemplate on dropping the topic, however, there is no way Natsuki would let me evade that question. Not to mention I already blurted out my thoughts, so leaving her in the dark would be impolite. Because of that, I press on, enlightening her about the fact how my parents left one month before the exams, and how I’d like to know what happened to them. Her smirk dies down pretty quickly.

“That’s why you don’t want to leave.”

Natsuki nods to herself and stares at the bikes. After a while, she turns her attention towards me again. She seems to have a compassionate smile, although it’s quite hard to see anything due to the darkness of the room.

“You would leave memories behind.”

“Wouldn’t we all?”

A faint nod tells me she agrees.

“It’s not like I don’t know what probably happened to them. And don’t get me started on the impossibility of it! I just… wish to know.”

“I get it.”

There’s silence yet again. It’s occasionally broken by the quiet hum of the lantern.

“Have you visited your place since the exam day?” she suddenly asks.

“I haven’t been here in a year. So, no.”

“Would you like to? Before we leave?”

“I haven’t thought of that,” I mumble. “I mean, what about the othe-…”

“Forget about the others!” she shouts. “Who cares what they think? If you want to go, then we will go!”

I’m taken aback by her sudden display of fortitude. It’s obvious my face reflects that surprise, because she eases up a bit.

“I-I’m sure they wouldn’t mind anyway! As you said, we won’t be coming back here. They’ll understand!”

“But shouldn’t we give everyone that chance? Say goodbye to everything?”

Natsuki shrugs and looks at her burnt cigarette. She throws it away and yawns.

“Sure. If they want to.”

“Would you?”

She bites her lip and shakes her head.

“There’s nothing for me there,” she whispers.

I extinguish my cigarette as well and take a look around the hall. Suddenly, I realize how dark it has gotten. This reminds me of a promise I made earlier.

“Shit!”

I jump up and have to grip the wall in order to keep myself from falling over. Before Natsuki has a chance to ask anything, I begin explaining how Sayori had wanted to meet me after sunset. Natsuki turns around towards the cloakroom where tiny windows can be seen and, sure enough, there’s little light emanating from there, indicating that the sun has long passed the horizon.

“Wow. We’ve been here for ages…”

“We got most of the stuff done at least,” I say and pick up my fire axe. “You think she’s still up?”

Natsuki also stands up and dusts off her clothes.

“I don’t know. At this time she’s usually chatting with Monika or reading something in the break room.”

“Alright,” I nod to no-one in particular.

We take our leave and walk upstairs to the third floor. The school is mostly pitch black by now, but thanks to the lantern we manage to traverse through the hallways without making too much noise. The first embers of light come from the end of the third floor hallway. We realize that the light is coming from their sleeping quarters. As I’m not comfortable entering it myself, I ask Natsuki to check if Sayori is there. After a moment, she comes to the door and shakes her head.

“Damn it. I’ll go check the break room.”

“You do that,” Natsuki yawns loudly. “I’m going to sleep. I’m not in the mood to search for your girlfriend.”

“That wasn’t funny when you first said it, and it sure as hell isn’t funny now.”

“That’s where you’re wrong!” she laughs. “It’s hilarious to see you blush like that.”

_Damn her and her stupid tiny face…_

I shake my head with a grunt and wave her goodbye.

“Wait!”

“What is it, Natsuki?”

She crosses her arms.

“You wanna go to your house then?”

Taking a moment to think, I sigh and scratch the back of my head.

“Yes. I’d like that.”

“Okay. I’ll mention it to Monika.”

“I could do it myself, you know?”

“I-I know!” she stutters and puts her hands on her hips. “But maybe you’ll forget tomorrow, and then we have to pedal back here again! It would be a pointless waste of time!”

“Sure, whatever. Go ahead,” I say with a shrug. “Goodnight!”

“Whatever!”

On my way to the principal’s office I make sure to check all the classrooms. They’re all empty, which increases my unease, yet the moment I arrive near the office door I can hear quiet snoring. I raise the lantern in order to confirm that it really is Sayori who has decided to occupy my couch. It seems like she waited for me quite a while, passing time by reading a book which is now dangling from her hands.

I close the door and place the lantern on the coffee table, after which I cautiously take a seat on the armchair next to the couch. I ponder whether I should wake her or not, ultimately deciding that I can’t find enough willpower to interrupt her peaceful slumber. The room promptly engulfs in darkness after turning the knob on the lantern. I close my eyes and lay my head on the backrest of the chair, not even bothering with the sleeping bag that’s next to my backpack. Fatigue sets in almost immediately.

* * *

The following days were a rush. Most of our time was spent on trying to get all the ducks in the row for our imminent departure. During the first day, I successfully managed to fix the remaining tires. That was the thing I was most concerned about, so I felt pretty good afterwards. Having seen my success, Natsuki finally revealed her plans with the suitcases she hoarded from the maintenance room. Namely, she wanted to attach these to the bikes in order to increase our carrying capacity. A brilliant idea which fell short, because neither of us had a clue on how to attach them. Luckily, Yuri helped us out, and the final outcome was something to be proud of.

Now, despite our first win, the chores didn’t stop there. I was quickly mobilized by Yuri to help her with washing up. This would have been the most boring thing ever had it not been for Sayori’s presence. Although she was a bit hurt after I lost track of time when fixing the bikes, I made sure to apologize the next morning, and this seemed to bring her back to her usual cheery self. I asked her if she’d like to accompany me during the remaining chores, and she agreed almost immediately. To us she was like a godsend: she would hold up a conversation like it’s no-one’s business and keep our spirits up by proposing different word-games we could play. This made the whole thing so much more enjoyable, and none of us really grasped how quickly time went.

The remaining days were spent on trying to organize our stuff in order to make it easier to decide what to bring along and what to leave behind. This would have been an easy task, yet it dragged on for hours, mostly because during the time they had spent in the school, the girls had looted a lot of seemingly valuable items. Our limited carrying capacity meant that compromises had to be made, and this led to some heated debates between the club members. Monika advised everyone not to bring a lot of personal belongings along. While Sayori was content with that idea and Yuri, albeit hesitant, also agreed, it took us longer to convince Natsuki to leave all of her manga behind. This was only one of such fights we had to endure.

It was clear that the uncertainty and anxiousness weighed on everyone. Although it was plausible to assume that by the time we arrive to the hospital it could already be empty, a chance still remained that we could clash with the other group. This meant that the outcome of the whole operation was based on dumb luck as well as our ability to adapt to the situation at hand. Our plans were thorough and thought out, however, there were a lot more factors at play, and no plan can take into account every single thing that can go wrong.

And it wasn’t just the hospital we were worried about. The 284 mile ride to New Davenport was going to be difficult as well, mostly because of the supply situation. There were only a handful of villages along the way, and there was no guarantee that we would find everything we need from there. It was a gamble just like the hospital mission, and everyone knew that.

Out of all the members, Yuri seemed to deal with our predicament the best, probably because she was the one who got the most out of it. Ultimately, it was her idea to depart for the DCHQ, and everyone, except for Monika, was fully on board with the plan. There was a possibility that she was faking her calm demeanor – an assumption that is surely correct to some degree – but there was no doubt she hid it better than the others.

Natsuki was prime example of a person who couldn’t hide her emotions. Despite her desperate tries to keep it together, her outbursts became more frequent and more volatile. There wasn’t a soul inside the school who hadn’t gotten the classic Natsuki treatment, yet we all toughed it out. We were used to it, and we also knew that if we just left her alone for a while, she would come to her senses and the conflict wouldn’t escalate.

The person we were all worried about was Monika. She would spend most of the days inside the meeting room. Of course, she would come out and help us with the chores, but as soon as she was finished, she would retreat there again. The only person who got any contact with her was Sayori, and although we pestered the latter pretty hard, she didn’t divulge any information, only assuring us that Monika was fine. This gave us little to work with, and we had no other option but to hope for the best.

Sayori didn’t try to hide anything – she was visibly petrified every time our conversation tilted towards the hospital or the DCHQ. Luckily, it rarely came up, and when it did, I managed to quench any worries with relative ease. I hadn’t forgotten about my doubts regarding Sayori’s well-being, but it was pretty easy to keep an eye on her, seeing as she was stuck to me like a band-aid. It didn’t bother me at all. On the contrary, her cheeriness would ease my own mind, for it was clouded with anxiousness.

Ever since the exam day, I’ve been having nightmares. They’ve varied in intensity: sometimes I experienced them quite vividly, sometimes I forgot about them in seconds. After arriving to school, however, these nightmares have ramped up both in intensity and content. The theme has always been the same: I would either see scenes from the day of the outbreak or horrible stuff that hasn’t happened before. The latter have mostly been related to the hospital. It wasn’t unusual for me to wake up screaming or panting after seeing another one of my friends dead on a gurney or a hospital bed. In addition to the fact that I haven’t been able to rest properly, these nightmares have actually made me scared of falling asleep, which is why I’ve been feeling exhausted for days.

This fear has also hindered me in other ways. On the third day it was time to check my wounds, and, of course, Yuri was the one to do it. She had been skimming a few books she found in the nurse’s office so to find out when to remove the stitches and how to keep them clean. Her deduction was that in order to avoid infection, it was important to occasionally wash the wounds. The suggestion was logical, and I could easily do that, because the group had collected enough water to last for a few weeks at least, yet I was terrified of going downstairs.

At noon, Yuri found me pacing in front of the hallway leading to the gym showers.

“Hello, Michael,” she greeted me politely. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just going to heed by your suggestion.”

“Oh? That’s good. I was actually pondering about your face.”

“My face?”

She turned a shade redder and quickly began to explain what she really meant.

“A t-textbook said that face injuries actually heal the quickest, so we may be able to remove the stitches soon!”

“Really?”

“That’s what the book said.”

“But I should clean them before that, right?”

“Correct.”

I made a vague motion towards the hallway, signaling her that I was going to do just that, but I was unable to budge. This didn’t go unnoticed by Yuri, whose gaze switched back and forth between the hallway and me. Even though I tried to act as nonchalantly as possible, it was clear why I was so apprehensive about heading to the showers.

“Is everything okay, Michael?” Yuri asked, her eyes fixated on me.

I attempted to think of an excuse on the fly, but she saw right through me.

“Oh my!”

Her exclamation didn’t come as a surprise, but it startled me nonetheless. I instinctively lowered my head in shame.

“I’m so forgetful! It seems like I left my hairbrush in the showers,” she said and shook her head in disappointment. “Would you like to accompany me?”

It took me a few seconds to realize the true meaning behind her words. What appeared to be the most pathetic acting quickly turned into the most tactful thing I’ve seen anyone do. Our eyes didn’t meet, but I spotted a supportive smile.

“Of course,” I answered with a lump in my throat, taking her hand. “I’d be happy to.”

We locked arms and began to head through the hallway. As expected, I was greeted by the same whispers and malignant thoughts that plagued me three days from then. My attempts of staying calm proved fruitless, and at some point I began to shake uncontrollably. I guess Yuri noticed that, because she started to hum a somber tune, which had a calming effect on me. Despite my fidgeting, we managed to arrive to the showers without a major incident.

After falling on one of the benches inside the women’s dressing room, I let out a weary groan. Spotting Yuri’s worried expression, I quickly assured her that I was fine.

“Are you sure? Do you need me to stay?”

“No,” I answered, trying to mask the shakiness of my voice. “I can handle it.”

“Very well.”

I still couldn’t look her in the eye, but I was able to muster enough courage to say my final thanks.

“You’re a class act, Yuri.”

Although she usually displays herself as an extremely restrained person, it seemed like I broke her that time. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile this wide.

The following 30 minutes were a mixture of good and bad. On one hand, the water was bitter cold and the overall low temperature of the room didn’t add to my comfort. On the other hand, it’s been almost a month since I’ve washed myself that thoroughly. The luxury of hot showers has been a distant memory, so I’ve gotten used to alternative methods, often having to use baby wipes to clean myself. Cold water and shampoo was a huge improvement and left me refreshed and content, even though I reeked of coconut afterwards.

On my way back to the principal’s office I ran into Yuri again. She was waiting for me so that she could begin removing the stitches. This time the pain was nonexistent, mostly because removing stitches doesn’t include sticking a needle inside my skin multiple times. It only took a few snips to get rid of the ones on my face, but the shoulder wound was left untouched. I asked if they would need to bandage my eye again, but Yuri theorized that it would be better for it to get some air. I thought I looked terrible without something covering it, but Yuri was quick to assure me that it was barely noticeable.

The following evening was spent with the whole group. Monika wanted to give everyone a break from their chores and organize a fun event full of board games, card games, and other such activities. I was quite concerned about the fact that no-one was on guard duty, but Monika seemed okay with it. She told me that it was important to keep our spirits high before departure, as morale plays an important role during risky situations. Despite my hesitation, I agreed with her, because everyone had been under a lot of pressure during these few days.

We started with the only board game that was available: a well-known property training game. I knew that I was straight up garbage at it, so I didn’t have any hopes of winning. Surprisingly, I managed to last longer than Natsuki, Sayori, and even Yuri. With Sayori being my cheerleader, I put up a valiant defense against Monika’s ruthless gameplay, but was ultimately defeated: penniless and in jail. We waited until Yuri and Natsuki finished their chess battle and then moved on to a card game, which was a bit more lighthearted, because it didn’t need any sort of strategic thinking. I somehow sucked at that as well, because of course I did, but I didn’t let such a meaningless circumstance stop me from having fun. On the contrary, my bad luck quickly became the main thing we made fun of.

Because of the fact that the board game round dragged on into the night, our time to play cards was cut short. Everyone was quite sleepy after a few rounds. The first one to hit the hay was Sayori, who, despite comforting me on my losses quite enthusiastically, seemed out of it by the end of the evening. Natsuki and Yuri soon followed her. I wanted to catch Sayori before she went to sleep, hoping to maybe make her feel better in some way, but I was stopped by Monika.

“Quick word with you, Mike?” she asked, while the others were heading out of the room.

“Sure, Monika!” I answered, glancing at the door. “What do you need?”

“I wanted to speak to you about the hospital.”

I reluctantly focused my attention on her.

“Do you wanna to go through the plans again?”

“No, they’re fine.”

“What’s wrong then?”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re healthy enough for tomorrow.”

“Of course!“ I answered with a chuckle. “My shoulder has been steadily healing, so-…”

“I’m not talking about your shoulder.”

“What are you talking about then?”

“”Get out of my head”. What was that?”

The question caught me completely off guard, because I’d already forgotten about my little outburst during the fight. There was no doubt that Monika had heard everything I said, which meant that the assumption that Yuri was the only one who knew about my illness was shattered, along with the illusion that this would stay a secret. I tried to play dumb, but my shock was pretty telling, which is why any attempt of denying what had happened was shut down by Monika.

“It was nothing,” I managed to say. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“So I just imagined you freaking out, right?”

It took me everything to keep myself calm, but Monika’s combative demeanor made it incredibly difficult.

“I’m just saying that this isn’t your concern.”

“Not my concern?” she scoffs. “I’m responsible for their lives! It’s my obligation to make sure that everything goes well.”

“I understand that,” I pressed through my teeth, hoping to move on, but Monika had other intentions.

“You do realize that tomorrow is going to be incredibly dangerous?”

I nod.

“Well, it doesn’t look like it!” she exclaimed. “What happens when you have another fit like that? You’d be putting all of us in danger.”

The question bellowed in my mind, multiplying all of the same doubts that had festered in me these last few days.

“Look, I’m giving you a way out. If you’re not up for it, then maybe-…”

“Not up for it? Really?!”

I wanted to say a lot of things to her, but I managed to keep the more insulting comments at bay.

“Do you see me hesitating? What part of my behavior tells you that I’m not up for it?!”

“It’s impressive you’re so determined about this, but you don’t need to push yourself.”

“Don’t fucking do that!” I growled at her. “A few days ago you approved of me leading this raid, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

“You don’t need to get so defensive. I’m just trying to help.”

“Respectfully, Monika, this conversation ends now.”

Without another word, I walked out of the room.

I took a gander over the hallway, but, like I’d previously thought, Sayori had already entered the sleeping quarters, which meant that there was no way to talk to her face-to-face without alerting others. Even though I figured I would get a chance to talk to her tomorrow, it did little to ease my concerns. Trying to calm down from my little skirmish with Monika, I took a deep breath and headed for the office.

I shouldn’t have lost my temper, but Monika cornered me and I lashed out. I could admit that she had a point – if anything similar occurs, things would probably take a turn for the worst, however, bringing that up the night before our raid was pretty ridiculous of her. I knew very well that I was the lynchpin of the operation, so her accusing me of not taking that seriously was insulting. Not to mention the hypocrisy of her claiming to care for the group while sowing doubts the night before. She should’ve voiced her lack of confidence in me much sooner, so we could’ve had an opportunity to change the plans.

I laid awake on the couch for a few hours, ruminating about the upcoming day, pondering about Monika’s intentions, and worrying about Sayori. With each thought I could feel myself get more irritated, because the more I wallowed in such topics, the less chance there was for a peaceful night’s sleep.

* * *

_“Stop it! Please…”_

_“Yeah,” the doctor agrees with a sigh that is almost compassionate. “You’re right. We should stop.”_

_After one meaningful look at Sayori, he lowers his head._

_“Because this isn’t life, wouldn’t you agree? We’ve been talking for minutes and she hasn’t even batted an eye.”_

_Even though he’s clearly blocking her view to the park, she doesn’t care at all._

_“Fortunately, we can make it right.”_

_He clears his throat and grabs Sayori’s shoulders._

_“There’s no need to further drag this out, Mikey.”_

_He tenderly pushes her on her back._

_“We both know what the answer is.”_

_He takes the pillow. The sudden realization hits me._

_“I know you can’t do it.”_

_A quick glance at my direction reveals his eyes. I see a yellow glint._

_“So let me carry that burden.”_

_Without missing a beat, he places the pillow on her face. I try to scream, but no voice leaves my open mouth._

_“Remember, Mikey. You’ll never be a hero.”_

_Her whole body convulses, and the doctor’s laugh turns into a harrowing growl…._

I jolt upwards and desperately gasp for air. Flickers of my nightmare remain only for a second, soon replaced by a terrible stinging sensation coming from my elbow. The office starts to take a more detailed shape, and I feel comfortable enough to sit upwards. As I see the aftermath of my nightmare, I let out an exasperated groan. The glass coffee table has toppled over to its side, luckily not exploding into million pieces in the process.

I slide on my boots and do some stretches, after which I pull the table to its original place and gaze at the windows. The sky has turned noticeably lighter. If countless nights spent outdoors have taught me one thing, it’s that sunrise is just around the corner. This means that I probably slept for only three or four hours. It’s pretty obvious I’m not able to fall asleep for a while, so I might as well do a short walk around the school. After all, there is one place I haven’t visited yet.

The hallways are illuminated only sparingly, but the light of the rising sun is enough to guide me. I yawn multiple times and follow the third floor hallway towards the rooftop access. Instead of entering the stairwell, I turn a corner and walk to a more secluded part of our school. There are still multiple fliers about the finals and messages about other important dates plastered all over the walls and doors of the classrooms. Their colorful nature contrasts the gray nothingness of the abandoned school. I glance at the fliers a few seconds, but soon arrive to my destination.

_Classroom 324. The Literature Club. This is where it all began._

I grab the handle and open the door. I was hoping for the smell of Natsuki’s cupcakes or Yuri’s oolong tea, but what I experience is a far cry from those. It takes me a few seconds to finish dry heaving, because the contents of the classroom aren’t pretty.

I’m greeted by dozens of corpses laying in the back of the classroom, quite close to the closet Natsuki used to hold her manga collection. I fall on the doorframe for support. Pictures of the bodies in the trucks crash into my consciousness, dragging along the familiar feeling of hopelessness. I take a moment to gather myself and step inside the room.

Although the place is ruined by dried blood and yellow liquid, I find that the desks and chairs are still left in a somewhat orderly fashion. Even my desk is mostly untouched by the dormant danger within the room. With careful steps I edge closer to my regular sitting spot and run my hand over the backrest of my chair, feeling the roughness of the plywood underneath my rugged hands.

I close my eyes.

_“Okay, everyone! I think we should end the day here!”_

_I shake myself awake and examine my pathetic excuse of a poem. I’m not sure what Monika expected of me, seeing as I haven’t written anything since middle school, but I have a sneaking suspicion that two lines of unrhymed garbage isn’t close to qualifying even as a bad literary work._

_“Sayori! Please help Natsuki with her manga!” Monika thunders again. “I don’t want Ms. Rivers to yell at me again!”_

_Natsuki starts to huff and puff, but Sayori’s elated nature quickly overwhelms her. They pull up a chair and place it next to the class closet. On the other side of the classroom, I notice Yuri collect her tea set and walk towards the sink._

_“Did you get anything written?”_

_I yelp and jump in my chair. Monika has somehow teleported right in front of me, and her hearty laugh tells me that she scared me on purpose. I quickly crumple up my brain fart and slide the paper ball in my lap._

_“Uuuh… No!”_

_“Then what’s that there?” Monika says with a smirk and points towards my lap._

_I let my head fall._

_“A miserable performance by a failed writer?”_

_“Come on, Mike! Show me! I’m sure it’s not that bad.”_

_“It’s pretty terrible. I wish I had more time…”_

_Monika nods and places her hands behind her while sporting a wide smile. My stomach twirls around, and I feel myself blush._

_“Of course. I understand. It’s not easy to come up with anything while put on the spot like that.”_

_I eagerly nod._

_“Plus, you guys pumped me full of sweets before handing me such a difficult task,” I say and point at the empty tray which held at least twelve cupcakes. “The only thing I’m able to think about is how sleepy I suddenly am.”_

_She giggles and tilts herself towards me._

_“We wanted to make sure you feel welcome!”_

_I chuckle nervously and scratch the back of my head._

_“I do feel very welcome, Monika. Thanks!”_

_“I should ask you about the club now,” she says with a slightly lowered voice. “The others are busy, so you can tell me what’s really on your mind.”_

_Her smile is a lot more sincere than before, which is why I decide not to hold back._

_“Well, Monika, to be honest, the club is a lot of fun! You really know how to lead the group and it shows.”_

_“I can sense there’s a “but” coming…”_

_“But I don’t know how I can contribute. I’ve never been much of a book guy. I’m sure Sayori has already told you that.”_

_Monika chuckles and looks the mentioned girl, who is now dangerously close to tipping over while carrying Natsuki’s manga collection._

_“She has only told me how funny and great you are.”_

_“Take that with a grain of salt,” I mumble, feeling a familiar hotness congregate to my face. “She likes to over-exaggerate.”_

_“I wouldn’t worry about contribution or anything like that! After all, if you’re interested, we can teach you and give you suggestions. There’s no rush!”_

_“I just don’t think it’s for me.”_

_Monika slowly nods. She’s still smiling, but there’s a faint sadness creeping up._

_“Hearing Yuri go on and on about how long she has read and all that… I haven’t picked up a book in five years!”_

_“And you don’t want to read one now,” she finishes my thought. “Michael, if you’re not interested then-…”_

_“It’s not that!” I blurt out and try to look anywhere else but Monika’s eyes. “There’s exams coming and other stuff…”_

_I feel terribly guilty, scrambling for excuses like that. I should’ve just told her that this club would heavily cut into my other activities._

_“It’s okay,” Monika says. “I just hoped that you’d be willing to try.”_

_“Why is it so important anyway? It looks like you’re doing fine on your own!”_

_“The thing is, Michael, the school board made some new rules over the summer break. In order to be an official club, we need at least five members.”_

_Noticing my expression, Monika jolts up._

_“Don’t take this the wrong way! I didn’t mean to guilt-trip you! Sayori just seemed to be so sure about this…”_

_“Of course,” I let out a sigh. “What did she say?”_

_“She told us that she’s been talking to you about this for weeks. But that isn’t the case, is it?”_

_I can’t help but snicker._

_“She invited me this morning.”_

_“Oh… It wasn’t nice of her to put you in a position like this,” Monika admits. “Look, whatever you decide, we won’t hold any gru-…”_

_“What are you two lovebirds chatting about?”_

_This is the last thing I need. It seems like others have noticed our little get-together._

_“Stop it, Natsuki,” Yuri scolds the girl. “We shouldn’t be interrupting in the first place. They’re obviously having a private conversation.”_

_Despite her saying this, Yuri is in no rush to leave us be. She makes a measly attempt to back off, but seeing Sayori skip towards us, she drops her plan altogether._

_“What’s going on?” Sayori chimes with her usual joyous demeanor. “Did you make a decision?!”_

_I fidget and try to dodge their collective gazes, but it doesn’t work out. Regardless of the pressure, I can’t falter. I must stay true to my choice!_

_“Actually, yes,” I declare and straighten myself, much like Yuri did when she introduced herself. “While I’m thankful for your invitation, I just don’t think it’s the right club for me.”_

_It’s fascinating to see multiple people get so dejected at once. Only Monika is able to hold her smile._

_“B-But I really though you-…,” Sayori begins, but is quite abruptly cut off by Natsuki._

_“Nice plan, Sayori! Do you see it now? I told you he only came for the cupcakes! Why else would a guy stay after school?!”_

_“I didn’t only co-…”_

_“What a load of crap, Mike!”_

_The guns are now turned towards me, and it’s fire at will._

_“Gah! I can’t believe it! All the work I put into those!” Natsuki fumes at me, barely holding herself back. “Well, what are you waiting for? You got what you wanted!”_

_“M-Maybe he doesn’t want to join, because you scared him off with your impudence!” Yuri remarks._

_“Oh, speak English, would you!” Natsuki bites back. “Maybe if you didn’t act like a pretentious diva, he wouldn’t feel like he’s a total moron!”_

_Yuri recoils, but only for a second. She frowns and pushes her chest forwards, while making fists with her hands._

_“I’m sorry, Natsuki, b-but you acting like a five-year-old is no-…”_

_“Stop!” Monika bellows at the group with rage. “What is wrong with you!? Both of you!”_

_She manages to stun them both, leaving Natsuki stare off into the distance, arms crossed, and Yuri to back away and turn almost dangerously pale._

_“Not only did he give us a chance in such a short notice,” Monika glances swiftly at Sayori, who turns red from her face, “but he declined our invitation politely! And what does he get in return? You two going at it like a bunch of brats fighting in a sandbox!”_

_An uncomfortable silence falls over the group. Monika peers at both of them with a scowl, curiously resembling my mother when she found out that my sister had gotten into yet another fight at school._

_„It absolutely astonishes me that the moment we find a person who is at least a little bit interested, you manage to nullify all of it! Is this what you want the literature club to be known for: members constantly bickering amongst themselves?”_

_If looks would kill, Monika would be tried for murder ages ago. After some tense seconds, she shakes her head and rolls her eyes._

_“I think the least you can do now is apologize.“_

_The first to speak up is Yuri, who nervously plays with her hair._

_“I-I’m sorry, Michael. It was unquestionably rude of us to react this way. I-I do hope you don’t get the wrong impression from us,” she mutters while looking at the ground. “Please don’t think we’re always like this.”_

_Monika nods and even sends Yuri a short smile. It fades immediately as she turns towards Natsuki. The latter bites her lip and growls a bit, but then opens her mouth._

_“Yeah, ditto.”_

_Although Monika isn’t quite happy with the response, I decide to relieve some of the tension, despite feeling some whiplash from the encounter._

_„It’s okay. It’s no problem at all.“_

_After a momentary silence, Natsuki turns to Monika._

_“But what about our club? Will they close us down?”_

_Monika breathes in, regaining some of her composure._

_“I’m not sure. We have until the end of the week. Maybe we’ll find someone.”_

_Looking at the girls’ faces, it’s clear that none of them are quite as hopeful as her. But it seems like Monika isn’t finished yet. She slowly turns to me._

_“Unless… There’s some hope we can change your mind, Mike?”_

_The words slide off her tongue, and I almost feel the need to applaud Monika. This was perfectly executed in every way. She steered a potentially disastrous situation to her advantage, managing to put pressure right where it was needed. It’s obvious that the club means a lot to these girls, and if I do decide to join, I’ll be the savior of it._

_Although I’m still hesitant, my mind changes the moment I look at Sayori. I’m not sure if it was the fight that has left her in tears, or the fact that I refused their invitation. Nevertheless, I recall this morning when we met at the only traffic light on our way to school. She seemed so giddy when I told her that I will consider her invitation. I didn’t even mean it seriously then, but now I realize that I do want to spend some time with my friend, and the literature club seems to be the perfect place to do so._

_Like Monika said, there’s no rush. I don’t need to be awesome at this from the get-go. And what else would I spend my evenings on? Mastering yet another hero in a video game? Killing yet another bunch of dimwits in an online lobby? Watching yet another low-quality anime flick? If picking up a book means that I can continue spending time with these wonderful and weird… and potentially single girls, then so be it._

_“Alright, fine. I hope that I don’t reg-…”_

_But my sentence is cut off by Sayori’s ear-piercing scream. She grabs me into a hug and bounces up and down. Over her shoulder I can see the relief on Yuri’s and Natsuki’s face. They both seem to have forgotten their clash just moments ago and share a smile. Monika crosses her arms and seems quite pleased with herself._

“Mike?!”

I quickly turn around in order to face the owner of the voice.

“Jesus Christ, Sayori! You scared the crap out of me!”

“What are you doing here?!” she exclaims from the darkness, only her bow lit up by the morning sun.

“What are _you_ doing here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Shouldn’t _you_ be asleep?” she jabs back. “Eheheh… We can do this all night!”

I didn’t expect her to be that clever and persistent in the mornings.

“I woke up and couldn’t sleep anymore. Your turn.”

“Same… kind of,” she answers with a sniffle. “I just wandered around and saw someone here. I thought it was Monika at first, but it’s you.”

“Monika? Does she come here often?”

“From time to time.” she says, her voice gradually dropping. “I think she misses the club meet-ups.”

“Gosh. It feels like those were ages ago…”

I glance around myself. Leaving out the obvious in the back of the room and the thick layer of dust coating the floor and much of the furniture, one could perceive it as a totally usable classroom.

“This is the only place I haven’t visited,” I say and pat the chair. “I was actually wondering why you didn’t make this your hangout room. It would’ve fit so well.”

I kick my feet into motion and walk next to Sayori, putting some distance between me and all the death. She moves out from the doorway to make me some room.

“Now I see you had a pretty good reason to avoid this place.”

“It wasn’t this bad initially. We brought them here ourselves.”

“That must’ve been horrible.”

“It was!” she says and sniffles again. “We tried to be as respectful as possible. I can’t imagine what they went through…”

_And it’s better you don’t, Sayori._

I smile and turn towards her, hoping I get the timing right. She was just about to notice the pained expression on my face.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” I ask with forced cheeriness. “Bags packed and all that stuff?”

I spot a nod in the darkness.

“Did you try out your bike?”

“A bit,” she mumbles. “I have to figure out how to put the seat in the right spot.”

“I can help you with that before we leave. Sometimes it’s a bit difficult to release it from the frame.”

She nods again. It seems like she’s not in a talkative mood. As I’m beginning to run out of small talk myself, I just lazily stare out of the classroom windows, part of my cheek resting on the metallic doorframe. The coldness of it offers some odd comfort, keeping me from leaving this room. The longer I watch the sunrise, the more I sympathize with Monika. I come to a conclusion that I would give anything to return to the good old days, when a poem assignment was the only thing I had to worry about.

Despite the hurt from bittersweet memories, I feel mighty sleepy all of a sudden. As soon as I start dozing off, I feel something tugging at my sleeve.

“Mike?”

“Mhh?! What is it?”

“Can I hug you?”

My eyes suddenly flick open. There’s something awakening inside of me. My mouth feels strangely dry, and my head begins to ache.

_Long time, no see, Mikey._

I press my eyes shut. This proves to be a costly mistake, as I’m brought back to my nightmare. I don’t remember much of it, but the horrifying emotion still lingers.

_Do you remember what I said?_

Sayori has always been a little clingy – all this touchy-feely stuff has been her _modus operandi_ in the literature club with the others, but I haven’t heard such a request since we were in our teens and she found out her parents are divorcing.

“Uhh… S-Sure!” I utter and raise my arm.

_“She will never hug you.”_

She sheepishly presses against me.

_Remember that?_

“Are you okay?” I manage to say, desperately trying to ignore the nausea suddenly besieging me.

“I missed you so much,” she mumbles into my hoodie. “I was afraid I’d never see you again…”

_I bet you’re enjoying this._

“I-I missed you too,” I say and try to swallow anything, but my throat stays dry. “It’s okay now.”

Even though I awkwardly rub her back and repeat the previous, she still seems quite unhinged.

_I know you, Mikey._

“We’re all together again. We can get through this.”

My heart beats furiously as she tightens the hug.

_What the hell is going on…?_

_Good god. How pathetic can you be?_

“Can I tell you something?”

Sayori raises her head, but doesn’t look at me. Instead she seems to be determined to stare out of the windows.

“Of course,” I chuckle nervously. “What is it?”

A few long seconds go by, but she doesn’t seem to be able to utter a single word.

“Did you fall asleep?” I ask her and nudge her shoulder. “You know that it’s your turn to say something, right?”

She giggles. I can’t help but notice how hollow it is. Any sort of energy usually present in her classic “Ehehehe!” is gone. I decide to gently push her away to get a better look.

“Are you that worried about tomorrow?”

She finally raises her eyes from the wall and nods a couple of seconds later. With considerable difficulty, I twist a smile and shake my head.

“There’s nothing to be worried about! We’re gonna arrive to the hospital and get our stuff.”

_Her eyes are so mesmerizing._

“In-and-out, just like we planned!” I say and snap my fingers.

_Ocean blue…_

“We’re gonna get everything we need and then head for the DCHQ.”

_Am I right, Mikey?_

“And then we’re gonna find out what the hell is going on with the world!”

_Do you feel it?_

“I promise you that everything is gonna be just fine.”

_Don’t lie to me._

Sayori’s glance drifts to the windows again.

“You can’t promise such things. You don’t know what’s going to happen…”

“I do.”

“How?”

“I just know,” I simply say. “The “how’s” and “why’s” aren’t important.”

She rubs her eyes and yawns. I shakily draw some breaths and quickly use this cue to my advantage.

“Look, let’s just get some sleep. All of this will be gone in the morning,” I say and pat her shoulder. “You’ll feel better then.”

I’m not sure she bought any of it, but at least she agrees to leave the room. She trots along the hallway and takes a look at the same colorful fliers I observed before. She looks back towards me, but I wave at her to go.

As soon as she clears the corner, I fall to my knees, grabbing my head. The combination of nausea and pain is unbearable.

_You haven’t learned anything._

_Stop it..._

_There’s going to be consequences._

_Leave me alone._

_Don’t fight it._

_Please…_

_It’s going to ruin her anyway._

_Shut up!_

I punch the floor a couple of times, but this does nothing else but multiply the pain I’m feeling. I attempt to catch my breath, and, luckily, it works after a while. I slowly stand up and take a last glance over the classroom I’d learned to love so much. The blazing red sunlight bounces off the dust-caked desks and chairs, blinding my tired eyes. I’ve never been in this room this early, and the experience is so magical that I’d like to savor it forever, yet I know it’s just not possible. This room, along with everything else that happened in this school, belongs in the past now.

I step outside and close the door. As I walk through the hallway back towards the principal’s office, my throat feels thick with emotion. I have to swallow a few times to access my voice, because I see Sayori stand next to the office door.

“Did something happen?”

She turns towards me, but doesn’t meet my eyes. Instead, she drags her foot across the floor and purses her lips.

“No! Nothing! I was just wondering if…”

It’s almost frustrating, constantly having to drag information out of her.

“If…?”

“If I can sleep here tonight?”

“Here? You mean the office?” I ask, to which she nods.

I exhale and scratch my head. If her previous request was a bit weird, this one is just downright bonkers. Still, I don’t have enough energy to contemplate why their room isn’t suitable, so I just motion her inside, eager to finally get some shut-eye.

I follow her into the room and drag my feet towards my backpack leaning against the wall. I take a knee near it and start to rummage through its contents.

“What are you doing?” she asks me, her voice noticeably more relaxed than before.

“What do you think I’m doing?”

She sits down on one of the armchairs and shrugs. I stick my hand into the backpack and lift some clothes out.

“I’m taking my sleeping bag. The floor is quite cold, you know?”

“Aren’t you sleeping on the couch?”

“No? _You’re_ sleeping on the couch.”

Of course, as is her nature, she quickly refuses, not wanting to cause me any more discomfort. I tell her that it’s no problem, but she doesn’t seem to care, and this little argument goes on and on until I finally find my sleeping bag and roll it on the floor, making my final statement.

“No, seriously, Mike, I can just sit here and-…”

“You either get on the couch or you get out, Sayori.”

This shuts her up quite quickly. She mumbles something about me being a meanie, but, nevertheless, trots next to the couch, tripping against the coffee table on her way. While she lays down on the couch, I take off my hoodie and climb into the sleeping bag. Although the couch would’ve been softer, the sleeping bag proves to be snug as well, and the floor has the added bonus of supporting my back.

“Alright… Goodnight,” I utter, having finished finding the best position on the floor, but the lack of any answer tells me that she’s already fallen asleep.

I chuckle to myself and place my hands below my head, taking a final look out of the windows. Morning has arrived with frightening speed, yet we probably have a couple of hours before Monika wakes us up and ushers us to pack our stuff on the bikes. A lot of doubts remain about tomorrow, but the creeping sunlight and the clear blue sky offers some hope that perhaps we’re really going to get through this.

Perhaps we’re going to stay alive.

All of us.

Together.


End file.
